With alcohol flowing freely through my veins and because of the incredible ease I feel in his company, I have no inhibitions what so ever. I slip my hands inside the back of his pants, run them down his backside, and around his h*ps to his front. I lower my hands and tightly clutch the inside of his muscular thighs. He throws his head back as my hands move up slightly and cup him. I grip the base of his incredible hardness with both hands before sliding them to his slightly moist tip.

I’m pretty sure I’m winning this game of willpower when he says, “Fuck, Dahlia what are you doing to me,” and quickly pulls my white cotton panties down, ripping them in the process.

With both his hands heading to my core, I brace the wall. With one hand, he pulls my slick flesh apart using his thumb and finger. As he plunges a finger inside me, I no longer notice the blinking casino lights in the distance, just the pure pleasure of his touch.

Kissing my neck, he moves one hand to tease my nipple and continues to plunge one finger and then another inside of me. I’m losing my mind. With a panting breath, I mutter, “I surrender, you win.” But thankfully, he doesn’t stop.

Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath. I drink him in completely as I claw the brick wall for support and scream into the night, “Yes, yes!” My body shudders and pulsates from its core as I come hard and fast. My thirst for River mildly satisfied, but nowhere near quenched.

Wanting him inside me more than I have ever wanted someone to penetrate me before, I say under spent breath, “River, f**k me now, make me come again.” Once again, I’m shocked at my own words, but he’s not so shocked as he quickly breathes back, “I plan to.”

He doesn’t wait as he slams inside me quick and hard. Abandoning my brace on the wall, I fuse my palms to his chest, as his thickness fills me. Each retreat is followed by another glorious lunge. As his pace quickens, he reaches behind me and pushes my ass into his full, penetrating hardness, causing it to rub my most sensitive spot with each and every thrust.

As he says, “Stay still,” he moves even deeper into me and at an increasingly faster rate. When his groans become lower, almost primal, I don’t move. I stay still. I want to experience him fully. As I continue to meld my hands to his chest, I realize this has to be the single most fulfilling sensation I have ever felt, bar none.

His fingers start digging into my flesh, his own pleasure building at the same pace as mine. Groaning into my shoulder, he’s no longer kissing me, no longer able to, I’m sure. Especially if he’s feeling anything close to the pure heaven I’m experiencing right now. As he continues to rock himself into me, I feel my body responding again. I grab his strong biceps for support and feel the tremble in his body.

Lifting his head, his green eyes find mine, and they are glazed over with passion. He sucks in a quick breath, his eyes closing as he lowers his head to my shoulder.

I don’t let him finish as I lift his head with both my hands. “Say it,” I command.

His groans grow louder still as I continue to clutch his gorgeous face in my hands and experience the mesmerizing transformation that’s taking place as he finds his release. He grunts, “I’m coming,” as his thrusts slow, and a low cry escapes his mouth.

I know I was wrong before when I feel him fill me and hear him say those words. My muscles clench tightly, and my toes curl. This, right now, is the most fulfilling moment I have ever felt.

As he lowers his head and thrusts into me one final time, I fall apart at the seams, coming for a second time as we both quench our insatiable thirst for each other; further building our connection. As we ride out our orgasms together, his sperm filling me, he suddenly looks up, his face full of concern, his eyes wide. “Shit, we didn’t use a condom.”

Lost in my own fantasy world of pleasure, I never realized it either, but I quickly reassure him, “It’s okay I’m on the pill.”

Surrounding me, with both palms pressed against the wall, he leans his forehead to mine. While both us try to stabilize our breathing, he grabs my chin and says, “I’ve never been with anyone without a condom.” He removes one hand from the brick wall and draws a cross over his heart. “I’m clean. I promise.”

I nod my head and kiss him, not wanting to talk about other women he has been with. So I just say, “River, that was amazing.”

With a sly grin he says, “You could say that again,” as he pulls up my ripped panties and jeans and I button them as he zips his own.

Once we have both put ourselves together, he curls his arms around my waist and presses himself into me. Bringing his forehead to mine, he starts dancing slowly with me. While we move together in the night, my environment suddenly comes alive, and I see the beauty all around me.

With the blinking lights below, and the stars above guiding our way, River twirls me around the terrace as he sings one of my favorite songs, Addicted, by Saving Abel.

When he gets to a verse I know really well, I smirk as he makes up his own lyrics. “I’m so addicted to you, everything you do, it doesn’t matter if you’re walking or dancing, when we’re standing here, the sounds you make and the smile on your face, they’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

I think how true those words are and how much they mimic the way I’m feeling right now. River is unlike anyone I have ever met. And right now I’m so happy to be with him—to be alive.

Finishing our dance by dipping me, he whispers in my ear, “Sorry about your panties.”

When he pulls me back up, I joke, “No you’re not, but they were ugly anyway.”

He laughs and tenderly cups my chin as we experience our first soft kiss of the evening. “You ready to go now? We have a hot tub waiting for us back at the hotel.”

Nodding my head, I smile, “Absolutely!”

He slings his arm around me, and I tuck my hand in his back pocket as he leads me to the coat check, both of us grinning ear to ear.

Chapter Fifteen

KISS YOU INSIDE OUT

Are you ready to go where I want to take you

I want to feel every inch of you

I’ll be the one that saves you

You know I will rock your world

Let me kiss you inside out.

It’s Sunday morning, only two days since River and I reconnected. Two days, but it seems so much longer. After all, it only took a minute for me to crush on him that night in the bar five years ago, it took less than an hour for me to lust after him two days ago, and, dare I say, it only took me slightly more than a day to know I could more than like him.

With our connection so strong, it seems strange that Ben keeps popping into my mind. Will it take a lifetime for me to stop thinking of him? Do I want to stop thinking about him? We were together for so long, he was such a big part of my life, and yet talking to River about him seems like a betrayal. It shouldn’t though, should it? Is it because I’m feeling guilty about not being able to recall ever having this kind of new budding feeling for Ben like I’m having for River?

Ben and I never experienced the typical milestones of a new couple. Our relationship simply happened. We just loved each other. I don’t recall unique markers like when I knew for sure I loved him or when I knew for sure he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. One day we were best friends, and then one day we were lovers. There was no single moment where I knew I loved Ben, I just always did.

So yesterday, why did I feel something happening within me that was strange and different? It felt like some alien feelings somehow crashed through the universe and knocked on my door. What were these unknown feelings I had deep within me? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know that as I lie here next to him, I’m full of contentment.

I remember waking up next to Ben for the four years we lived together and countless other mornings before that, but I don’t recall ever feeling like I do now. We never cuddled with each other when we slept. Ben had his side of the bed, and I had mine. We would usually make love and fall asleep with our legs entwined or arms touching, but by morning we clearly each had our own side of the bed.

Yet, right now River is sleeping soundly, his body wrapped around mine. I’m nestled into the smooth skin that is his hard sculpted chest. He’s sleeping on the opposite side of the bed than he did Friday night. Funny, maybe he doesn’t have a side, or maybe I don’t?

We had such a magical night, and yes my backside is a little scratched from the bricks, but what a pleasant reminder of the amazing time we had. Leaving the club around midnight, we decided to walk back to the hotel and enjoy the sights. We walked arm in arm, slowly; we stopped to kiss, and we stopped to talk. We were in no hurry. Having both been sated by our passionate impromptu romp out on the terrace, we just wanted to enjoy each other’s company.

River stopped as we walked past the fountain at the Bellagio. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out two quarters and handed one to me. Cocking his head, he explained, in that incredibly sexy way he has about him when he talks, that he wanted us both to turn around and throw the coins over our shoulders into the fountain while making a wish. He looked adorable as he belted “One, two, three,” using his fingers like he was cueing up his band to start a song. At the end of three he said, “Go,” and we both tossed our coins.

Pulling me into him, he rocked us back and forth. When I looked at his gorgeous face, all signs of his playfulness had diminished. Taking on a more serious look, he whispered in my ear, “Do you want to know what I wished for?”

Staring into his calm bottle-green eyes, I responded with a superstition-induced question. “If you tell, doesn’t that negate your wish?”

Grinning his so-sexy half smile, he shook his head and kissed me. He ran his nose to my ear and whispered, “I wished for you.”

Feeling slightly confused, since I was right there, I leaned back and asked, “What do you mean?”

Moving closer to see the dancing water perform its show, we stood and watched the spectacular beauty in front of us. Then he dunked his head and looked right into my eyes. “Come with me to LA tomorrow.” It wasn’t a question; it was more like a plea.

With the brilliant white lights twinkling in the flowing water and spray misting us from our close proximity to the fountain, I felt like I was back in our own private, enchanted world. As he stared at me with such intensity, I knew he was completely serious, that he really wanted me to go with him.

He paused a minute and caressed my cheek. When he licked his bottom lip, shivers ran up my spine before he continued with, “I just moved so I live alone, and I have some down time while I wait on contract negations for the new album.”

Pausing again, only for a moment, he pressed one palm into the small of my back, ran it up my spine, and pulled me flush against him. Goosebumps surfaced all over my body when he said, “I really want us to get to know each other, to spend some time together.” Then kissing my nose, he finished with, “I’m feeling something between us I’ve never felt before and want to give it a chance.”

Tapping the back of the fountain wall with his heel, he leaned back slightly and rested his hands on my shoulders, waiting for me to answer.

It was a moment of pure vulnerability. My throat clenched at his words, and I fought back the tears of joy that stung my eyes. At the same time I had such a mix of emotions swirling throughout my mind. I didn’t know what to say. Of course I wanted to go with him, but I didn’t know if I should. I didn’t really know him. Did I?

The night had been perfect; our whole time together had been actually. Sure, I had a semblance of a life back home, a job, and friends, but my life of the past two years was nothing like the happiness I had experienced in the last two days. And I knew right then, in that moment, as I stared into his eyes that looked so much like two crystal balls, that I could see my answer. There was nothing I could deny this man.

I remembered the first time I looked into them that night in the bar so long ago, and I remember feeling the exact same way I felt right now; like he could see into my soul. I knew then that if I jumped in I would never get out, and to this day I never have. So I took the answer I saw in his eyes, and I decided to keep swimming, to be happy, to live in the moment. As I glanced at my LOVE bracelet, I bit my lip and playfully answered, “What time are we leaving tomorrow?"