I shook my head, picked up the shot and clinked her glass, “To f**ked up relationships.”

I put the shot to my lips, my stomach already burning, tipped my head back and emptied the glass. I slammed it on the bar and went for the next one. I saw Lily wipe her mouth from the corner of my eye as I slammed the second shot on the bar.

“Damn, problems that bad?”

I wanted to shut her the hell up. She looked at the second shot sitting in front of her, and then eyed me. She pushed it in my direction; she didn’t need to tell me twice. I sucked down the third shot and chased it with my beer.

I started watching the highlights of the Giants game on the TV above the liquor shelf, waiting for the buzz to kick in.

Lily jumped off the stool and made her way to the dance floor. She was out there dancing with some girls that I recognized from high school when the DJ started playing City Boy. This was one of CC’s favorite songs when she was feeling down and needed a pick me up. The bartender looked in my direction and I held up two of the shot glasses, he came over and filled them.

After five shots and two beers I was finally feeling buzzed, my body was relaxing to the point where the events of today didn’t bother me as much as they should have.

Come and Get It started playing. I felt someone nudge my shoulder. Glancing over at the guy next to me, he lifted his chin towards the dance floor. I turned around and Lily pointed to me, beckoning me over with her finger.

“Damn dude. You better go get that.” The guy next to me was practically panting.

“She’s all yours,” I told him. I got up and made my way toward the bathroom, and then I was getting the hell out of here.

As I walked out of the bathroom I was pushed into a little nook off to the side. It took me a second for my foggy brain to catch up. Lily stood in front of me, her body pushed up against mine.

She was biting her lip; damn I needed to get out of here. I was about to push her away when she leaned in. I turned my head just in time and her lips landed on my cheek.

I pushed her off, “What the f**k are you doing?”

She looked at me with a stunned look on her face. Pushing past her, I went to my truck and left.

I knew I shouldn’t be driving in my condition, I was drunk. I drove to the closest place I knew, which just happened to be where my girl was at. The same girl that thought I was scum.

I knew where the spare key was after needing to use it a few times trying to drag Mason and Cooper’s drunken asses home. I was crawling up the steps when I saw CC running past the stairs towards her parents’ room. She didn’t see me and I didn’t want her to. A few minutes later she came walking past the steps with Ryder in her arms, I heard her bedroom door click and I climbed the rest of the way up the stairs.

I sat there and listened to her cry until, eventually, it grew quiet and I assumed she’d fallen asleep again. I wiped my eyes and when I did I felt tears I hadn’t known were there.

27

It had been fourteen days since I threw Hunter out of the bathroom that we were in, fourteen days since I stepped foot in that room. Fourteen days since I felt like a whole person, fourteen days since my heart was crushed from his secrets.

I hadn’t heard a peep from him except for the little lettered seashells that he had somehow managed to leave outside my bedroom door every morning when I woke up. I missed him something fierce but I was still too bitter, too hurt, to talk about it.

Every day after lunch Mom would meet Hunter downstairs and hand over Ryder; he would bring him back around eight every night. It bothered me that he was spending so much time with him, I missed Ryder but I knew it was important for them. I heard Hunter tell my mom one afternoon that he was going back to work last week, so I let it go.

I had just gotten out of the shower when Hailey came barging in my room. I stood there in a towel, “Hails? Are you ever going to learn how to knock?”

She shrugged, “I’ve seen you at your worst Kenz, and does it really matter at this point?”

She was right; she’d caught me ha**ng s*x with Hunter countless times. My heart squeezed at the thought of him. “Not really I guess. Anyway how are classes?” I was looking forward to enrolling for spring semester with her.

I made a deal with Hailey after three days of not speaking to anyone. I promised I would start talking only if Hunter wasn’t brought up. Every time someone mentioned his name I would start to cry and that wasn’t ok with me. I had to somewhat pull myself together so that I could take care of Ryder, he couldn’t, and shouldn’t, have to see me in such a mess.

“It’s going. Look, before I forget why I came in here I need you to promise to have an open mind about something.”

This is going to go well.

“I’m not ready to talk to him, Hails.” I stated. Yeah I missed the ever-loving hell out of him but I’m just not ready.

“I know. It has nothing to do with him, well it kind of does.”

She quickly glanced at me while brushing her hair in the mirror. I waited, “We need a girls’ weekend. Jay thinks you hate her and Chloe is going crazy with Alex running around and getting into everything.”

I could never hate Jaylinn but I wasn’t exactly being nice to her either, she could have talked to me. “And what does this not exactly have to do with Hunter?”

Wait for it, wait for it… “We were thinking of going to their family house in Tennessee. Jay says no one is renting it until sometime in January.”

That sometime in January was my honeymoon. I got chills and felt sick. Would I get past this? Would we be able to move on from this and be a strong couple? Eventually maybe, but right now I just wasn’t sure.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” I don’t think I can handle being in the house that held so many memories, the house where I’d lost my virginity to the man I was supposed to marry.

“It’s a great idea. Pack your bags, we’re leaving this weekend.” Hailey said as she moved towards the door.

“What about Hunter? I’m taking Ryder with me which means Hunter isn’t going to see him for a few days.” I was backpedaling trying to get out of going.

She put her hands on her hips, “Stop trying to get out of it. You’re going. Hunter is already taken care of.”

Of course he is.

I had to think of a way to get out of this. I didn’t feel like having a girls’ getaway. I wanted to stay in my room, in this house where I have been for the last fourteen days.

Hailey