I touch his arm. “No. I want to be here with you.”

“I want to be with you too.”

Jesse leads me into an extravagant room that’s somehow cozy. There are plush couches and armchairs you can sink into and artwork on the walls, and don’t even get me started on the floor-to-ceiling views of Fifth Avenue. I’ve never seen a grand piano in a hotel room before. This is a long way from the Motel 6 we stayed in on the drive from Tennessee. I turn in a circle, spotting a kitchen and a hallway leading to a bedroom.

“You don’t do anything on a small scale, do you?” I ask.

“You know me. Go big or go home.” A look of embarrassment crosses his face before he adds, “The TV show pays for the suite.”

“Seriously, why does one person need all this space?”

He wraps his arms around my waist. “You mean two people, right?” He gives me a kiss on the cheek that turns my knees wobbly. “Be right back. I’m gonna make sure my guitars and luggage arrived okay,” he says and disappears down the hall.

I sink onto a couch and kick off my boots and kneesocks, digging my toes into the plush rug. That’s when it hits me. I’m with my boyfriend in a hotel room without my parents or annoying brother around. We can do whatever we want…we can go further than we did last time when we were making out in my bedroom. I take a deep breath, remembering how warm and solid his body felt against mine. Remembering how jittery and shaky I felt, as if I just stepped off a roller coaster. But I’m not nervous anymore, because I know exactly what I am to him. We both feel the same about each other.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I call.

I shut the door behind me, turn on the cold water, and splash my face, then squirt some toothpaste onto my finger and run it over my teeth. Even though I don’t know what will happen with Wannabe Rocker, today has been the best day of my life. And now I’m alone with Jesse. Now, when I know for sure I want him and he wants me. I stare at myself in the mirror, feeling confident and happy and calm. I like him enough to risk everything, and I don’t want to stop falling.

I find Jesse sitting at the grand piano, playing his new song. He doesn’t look up when I walk over, lean across the piano, and rest my chin on folded hands.

“C’mere,” he says, beckoning me with two fingers. I slide in next to him on the bench and he nudges me. “Let’s play ‘Heart and Soul.’”

“I have to learn another song, Jess. This one is getting boring.”

“Here’s something new.” His fingers begin tapping out a melody. A ballad. “I’m a swatch of quilllllllllt and I want to be sewn into your hearrrrrt.”

I elbow him hard in the gut, and with a laugh, he retaliates by giving me a sloppy kiss on the mouth. A kiss that starts out silly becomes focused and intense, and he pushes my hair behind my ears, and his fingertips caress my cheeks as our mouths explore. He breaks away and cradles my neck. “Do you want to go in the other room?”

My face burns in anticipation. “Yeah, definitely.”

He holds out a hand to help me up, and we kiss all the way to the bed as the bright lights of New York pour in through the windows. I crawl onto the plush white comforter, but Jesse doesn’t give me a chance to get comfortable before beginning to kiss me again. We’re both sitting on our knees when he tugs my dress over my head, runs his hands across my black lace bra, and unsnaps it. He mouths my neck and jaw, and I shiver as I unbutton his wrinkled white button-down, running my palms over the warm velvety skin on his lower back, kissing the freckles on his shoulders.

I fall back onto a pillow to admire the view. I love his flat torso, strong chest, and yummy biceps, especially when he settles on top of me. I unbutton his jeans, then bury my hands in his hair, getting a whiff of his citrusy shampoo. His lips trail over my skin, from my collarbone to the sensitive inside of my elbow, to my belly button. I suck in a deep breath when his fingers slip beneath my waistband. I hear the rustle of my underwear landing on the rug.

Goose bumps rise on my skin. I’m excited. Curious, but scared. Nervous that my body won’t feel anything, like when I was with Nate.

Jesse kisses my stomach, and I do want to feel his body against mine, but there’s also an urge to cover myself, especially when his lips move lower.

“Jess, wait—”

He glances up at me. “Have you done this before?”

I shut my eyes and shake my head. Nate never offered, even though I did it for him. I’m not sure I would’ve said yes to Nate, because it’s such a personal thing, but Jesse is different, and that makes me want to consider it, even if it feels like sharing my deepest darkest secret and asking him to accept it no matter what. Biting my lip, I clutch the duvet, pressing my knees together.