He couldn’t move, and didn’t want to. He was pretty sure he could repeat this moment over and over and never get tired of it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

“How’d it start?” Trevor asked. “You with men. Did you always know you were bi?” He wasn’t sure what made him ask. Maybe because it was such a surprise to him, being with Simon like this. Trevor never saw it coming before the other night.

It took Simon a minute to answer. “I’m not sure I ever really thought about it much. I’ve always kept to myself. It’s just who I am, so I wasn’t the guy dating my way through high school. College was different. It wasn’t that I was that much more sociable. I just got horny.” Simon laughed and Trevor felt it vibrate through the bed, to himself. Simon didn’t laugh nearly enough. He decided to make it his goal to keep Simon laughing.

“Makes sense.”

“I lost my virginity freshman year to a girl in a study group. Let me tell you, it was like an awakening in some ways. I sure as hell wondered what took me so long to do it.” Simon pulled the condom off, tossed it in the trashcan and then rolled to his side. He leaned up on his elbow, looking down at Trevor, and he looked...relaxed. Relaxed in a way Simon almost never let himself be. Trevor decided to keep that look on Simon’s face too.

“So you started fucking women and...” He didn’t want to be an ass, but that wasn’t really what he cared about the most in all of this.

“Well, I don’t want to make it sound like I was doing it every weekend. You have to remember, for me it was always about being a physician. That’s all I cared about, but then, well, obviously sex felt good, and I needed to blow off a little steam every now and then.”

“You were a slut,” Trevor teased him. He had no doubts that Simon’s past had nothing on his own. He shuddered to think about that.

“Do you want to hear this or not?”

Trevor was surprised when Simon reached over and brushed a thumb over Trevor’s forehead. It was an intimate gesture, and not one Trevor was really used to with a lover. “Yeah. Keep talking. Get to the part where you were with men.”

“Okay...the first time was a guy in my anatomy class. He was openly gay. I never gave it much thought, but I’d catch him looking at me from time to time. He had balls, I’ll tell you that. He didn’t know me from Adam but he didn’t hide his interest. It didn’t take me long before I realized I was watching him, as well. It was a surprise. I didn’t know what to think of it, if I’m being honest.”

“Let me guess, he asked you to study with him? I think I’ve seen this movie before. Have you seen the one where the construction worker nails the homeowner?”

Simon rolled his eyes, absently fingering Trevor’s hair. “You keep interrupting me and I’m going to assume you don’t want to hear this, but yes, he asked me to study. He went down on me. I protested for maybe...three seconds. I just remember thinking how sexy I found him. The difference in the way he touched me, the feel of his buzzed head against my thighs. I jerked him off afterward, and left telling myself it was a fluke. I was horny and he was there. But then it happened again. He asked me on a date afterward, and I made an excuse. He asked another day and I made an excuse then too.”

Trevor shifted at that. It wasn’t that he was lying here thinking he and Simon would ride off into the sunset together, and Simon did tell him that when it came to a lasting relationship, he always assumed it would be a woman. Still, it didn’t sit right.  “Because he was a man?”

“Umm...” Simon still fingered his hair. Trevor wondered if he realized he did it. “Maybe partially. I guess I would by lying if I didn’t say that’s partially what it was. I didn’t really know what to make of it at the time. It wasn’t only that, though. I just didn’t have time in my life for anything other than spending a night here and there with someone. I had no interest in dating anyone, not only Andre. So, he moved on, I lost myself in school again, and the next time I was with someone...it happened to be another man. He was the first man I sucked off; you were the third, by the way, so there hasn’t been a lot. The first guy I only jerked off.”

“Holy shit.” Trevor leaned up, resting his weight on his arm as well. Simon had only been with three men before him, hadn’t fucked all of them, and had only blown two of them. “Three men? You’re like a fucking saint.” Trevor had never been a saint of anything.

“Hey, there were women in there, too. Don’t make it sound like I’m virginal. But yes, there were only three men I’ve been intimate with before you. The third man I fucked, and then I met Heather. I hadn’t been looking for anything serious with her, either, but it just happened.”