Prologue

The wind blew her long platinum hair to the side, covering her beautiful face as she turned toward me. She was leaving and it was killing me. She held up her hand with a frown. Sad, icy eyes stared back at me. My perfect snowflake. She was mine for such a brief moment in my life, and now she was leaving and moving on. Expanding her mind and becoming a part of society.

She didn’t need me anymore. She didn’t need me to make it better, to hold her close when she was afraid. It sucked. I needed her to need me. I wanted her to need me until the end of time, but things would never be the same, and as badly as it hurt, I knew it was for the best. So I told her good-bye, watched as she disappeared behind a set of black doors, and I walked away. My heart was broken, I was full of fear, yet I couldn’t help but smile with pride at how easily she moved on.

One

Patience

The local DJ interviewing Blow Hole looked a little like Santa Claus. Except, instead of a red suit, he wore black leather, and instead of a jolly hat, a blue bandana covered his gray curls.

“So, Zeke, we get a lot of questions in about some of your tattoos. I was wondering if you could tell us what the three snowflakes on your forearm represent.”

Zeke’s lip ring pulled when his smile widened. It was strange to see him smile so openly in front of people. He looked over at me and winked as he lifted his arm onto the counter in front of him to show the DJ his tats.

“The big one here is for my girl. When we first started dating, she reminded me of a snowflake princess, so I started calling her snowflake. I still call her that now. The two smaller ones are for our two daughters. They’re just as blond and beautiful as she is.”

“Snowflake, huh?” the DJ asked. “It’s a wonder she doesn’t melt in this California heat.” He laughed.

Zeke’s eyes met mine from across the room and the love that lived there sparkled. The side of his mouth tilted in the secret smile he reserved just for me.

“Well, we went through the depths of hell to be together. If she hasn’t melted yet, I don’t think she ever will.”

The DJ laughed hard. “Wanna bet?” he said as his eyes lit up with a red hue.

The room filled with fire. The boys in the band split into opposite directions, trying to escape. I was across the room from the exit, frozen in fear as the fire reached out with jagged hands and licked at the floor by my feet.

Instead of escaping, Zeke bolted across the room to me. Everything began to move in slow motion as I yelled for him to go to safety. He didn’t listen and before he could make it, the fire consumed him. His screams echoed throughout the room and pierced my ears.

My legs suddenly felt weak, and when I looked down, all I could see was my jeans dripping from my body. My skin followed as it turned into a soupy mess on the floor.

I was melting.

*

I sat up abruptly, checking my arms and legs to make sure they were still there. I did it every time I woke from my melting nightmare, and even though I knew in the back of my head that it wasn’t real, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my legs were going to be gone when I woke.

The unfamiliar room surrounding me was dimly lit. Walls of soft sage closed me in and the smell of men’s cologne swarmed all around me. While the room was strange to me, the cologne was one I knew well. As if it were relaxing incense, I breathed in the light musk and sighed. I was obviously entering into another dream and I was perfectly fine with that.

Allowing my body to relax into the plush mattress, I took an even deeper pull of the masculine scent. I used to hate the smell of a man. Considering what my life had entailed, it made sense, but this certain cologne would always be a reminder of the peace I’d found in the final months before I moved to Florida. It would be a reminder of him.

I jerked when a heavy hand landed across my stomach and pulled me to the side. I followed the arm until my eyes landed on the tiny snowflake tattooed on the inner forearm. Taking a deep, calming breath, I laid my head back against the plush pillow and smiled to myself.

That’s when I noticed my physical state. My body hummed with the leftover effects of the night before. My inner thighs were sore, but in a good way, and my stomach muscles clenched as if I’d spent the night doing sit-ups. There was a light flutter all around me that sent tiny shocks of happiness to my deepest places. It felt amazing. I felt amazing.

My best friend Megan once told me there was a major difference in having sex and making love. I never gave it much thought since I never planned on having the chance to do either. I thought for sure I’d never be able to touch a guy, much less allow one to touch me.