He stuffed the boxers I was wearing into my hand.

“Put these back on and be very quiet,” he whispered into the room.

I pulled his boxers on over my panties and sat back down. I assumed the reason he wanted me quiet was so his dad didn’t know he had a girl in his room. Zeke was older, but maybe it was one of his dad’s rules or something. Either way, I silently said a thank you to Zeke’s dad for interrupting what was about to be a very uncomfortable moment. I didn’t want to answer any questions. I didn’t want to explain my sudden mood change. There really was only one explanation for it and there was no way I could’ve made up a lie that quick.

We sat in dark silence as his dad moved around. We heard water running and cabinets closing until finally the front door opened and closed. Zeke remained silent until his dad’s loud truck cranked up outside and pulled away.

Once his dad was gone, we sat in silence next to each other on the bed for another minute before he stood up. He looked down at me, a streetlight from outside his window cutting a path across his face. His expression was stern and he looked angry. I felt bad for leading him on, but it wasn’t like I did it on purpose.

“Goodnight,” he said as he turned away and got on the floor.

I peeled back the covers on his bed and climbed in.

“Goodnight,” I responded.

I was the queen of silent crying and I cried myself to sleep.

Thirteen

Zeke

With wide eyes, I listened to her quietly cry above me on my bed. I didn’t know what happened, but it scared the shit out me. I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I hadn’t meant to do more than look at her when I lied and told her she’d wake my dad if she changed in the bathroom. I couldn’t even believe she fell for that and I was really shocked when she turned and started to undress. She seemed too shy even for that.

I watched from beneath my arm as she peeled off her clothes and I was done. Her white, lacey bra and panties had nearly done me in. I’m not sure what possessed me to stand and go to her, but it was a force I couldn’t fight. As I stood behind her and she adjusted her clothes, her scent filled my room. Except this time it wasn’t the scent of freshly cut grass. This time it was a soft feminine smell, a light baby powder mixed with her natural scent.

When she pulled her hair out of the collar of the shirt, I wanted to reach out and run my fingers through it. I’d never seen a female look so sexy in my entire life. She looked amazing in my clothes and it gave me an odd satisfaction, as if my clothes being against her skin made her mine in some way. She could never be mine, and even if that’s what I wanted her to be, I’d never do that to her. I’d run until I couldn’t run anymore before I tarnished her life by making myself a part of it. She deserved better than I could ever be for her.

When she turned and looked at me, I felt myself give in to her completely. No one’s ever had that kind of control over me and while I should’ve fucking hated it, it felt right. For the first time in my life, being with a woman didn’t feel like a dirty, erotic sin. It felt real. The way she felt against my skin, the way her body felt beneath my fingers, it was right.

It was more than just trying to get laid. It was more than seeing a hot chick naked. For the most part, I hadn’t even cared about making myself feel good. Just touching her and pulling those natural reactions from her was enough for me. I’d never looked down at a woman and thought about her beauty, but Patience was so beautiful. The way she moved, the sounds that came from her perfect mouth, they were too much for me. Kissing wasn’t my thing. In fact, I never kissed girls, but I’d almost kissed her. As it was, I’d already done more with her than any other girl in the kissing department. I wasn’t the kind of guy who planted soft kisses on a female, but I couldn’t keep my mouth away from her. It was like I was a completely different guy when it came to her.

When she froze beneath me and I saw that look of pure fear on her face, it had been like a shock from an electrical outlet. It looked like she was crying, but I wasn’t positive until I ran my thumb beneath her eye and felt the moisture.

Why had she let me go that far if it wasn’t what she wanted? Why had she been so responsive to my touches if it made her sad? It was the most confusing moment of my entire life and in that brief moment of reflection, I let old Zeke take center stage again. I was about to say something hurtful and rude when I heard my dad getting up for work. Then the real fear set in.

The chances of him coming in my room before work were slim, but it would’ve been my luck that he would. I didn’t want Patience to see that side of my life. I didn’t want anyone to know the embarrassing details of me getting my ass kicked. I didn’t feel relief until I heard his truck pull away.