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“You really have changed. I don’t know if the Astrid I knew would ever want to make love spontaneously in a lagoon or walk around naked on a beach in front of a bunch of Australian tourists,” Charlie said as they sat having lunch on the terrace of Astrid’s spectacular white villa perched on the hilltop of her private island.

“You know, it might sound cliché, but getting away from it all has been a transformative experience for me. I’ve realized that so many of my fears aren’t really my own. They’re the fears of my mother, my father, my grandparents. I’ve just unconsciously internalized them, and I’ve let these fears affect every decision I make. So a few people see me naked on a secluded beach in one of the remotest places on earth. Who cares? I’m proud of my body, I have nothing to hide. But of course, some voice in my head would automatically say, ‘Astrid, put some clothes on. It’s not proper. You’re a Leong, and you’re going to disgrace the family.’ And I realize that most of the time it’s my mother’s disapproving voice I hear.”

“Your mother has always driven you half crazy,” Charlie said as he piled another big helping of guinataang sugpo over his garlic rice.*

“I know, and it’s not all her fault. She said some terrible things to me, but I’ve already forgiven her. She’s damaged herself—look, this was a woman that was born during World War II, in the midst of the most unimaginable horrors occurring in Singapore. How could she not have internalized all the experiences of my grandparents? My grandfather was imprisoned by the Japanese and barely escaped the firing squad, my grandmother was covertly helping to organize resistance efforts while being a new mother and trying not to get killed herself.”

Charlie nodded. “My mother’s entire childhood was spent at the Endau concentration camp in Malaysia. Her family was forced to grow all their own food, and they almost starved to death. I’m sure that’s why my mother is the way she is now. She makes her cook save money by buying the discounted, three-day-old bread from the supermarket, but she’ll spend $30,000 on plastic surgery for her pet fish. It’s completely irrational.”

Astrid looked out onto the view of the peaceful cove below the terrace. “Scientists talk about how we inherit health issues from our parents through our genes, but we also inherit this entire lineage of fear and pain—generations of it. I can acknowledge whenever my mother is reacting out of this fear, but the most powerful thing I’ve realized is that I’m not responsible for her pain. I won’t make her fears mine any longer and I don’t want to pass them on to my son!”

Charlie stared at Astrid, pondering her words. “I like everything you’re saying, but I gotta ask—who are you? It’s like you’re speaking in a whole new language.”

Astrid smiled enigmatically. “I have to confess, I’ve been here for the past five weeks but I haven’t been here alone. When I left Singapore, I went to Paris first and saw my friend Grégoire. He told me about a friend of his who was living in Palawan. That’s really why I came here. I had no intention of being anywhere near Asia—I was on my way to Morocco, to a place I know in the Atlas Mountains. But Grégoire really encouraged me to see his friend.”

“Who is this person?”

“Her name is Simone-Christine de Ayala.”

“Is she related to Pedro Paulo and Evangeline in Hong Kong?”

“Turns out they are cousins—it’s a big family. Anyway, I’m not quite sure how to describe her. Some people call her an energy worker or a healer. To me she’s just a very wise soul, and she has a beautiful home on a neighboring island. We’ve met up almost every day since I got here and had these amazing talks. She’s led me through these guided meditations that have led to some incredible breakthroughs.”

“Like what?” Charlie asked, suddenly getting worried that Astrid was under the influence of some quack guru.

“Well, the biggest one is realizing that I’ve lived my entire life trying to anticipate the fears of my parents—trying to be that perfect daughter at all costs, never putting a wrong foot forward, never speaking to the press. And look where that’s gotten me? By trying to hide behind that façade of perfection, by trying to always keep my personal life and my relationships so goddamn private, I’ve actually done far more damage than if I’d just lived my life the way I wanted to in the first place!”

Charlie nodded, a little relieved. “I couldn’t agree more, actually. To me, it’s always seemed like you’ve lived your whole life in the shadows. You’re so much smarter and more talented than anyone’s ever given you credit for, and I’ve always thought you were in the perfect position to be doing so much more.”

“Do you know how many things I’ve wanted to do that have been shot down by my parents? When I graduated from college and got that great job offer from Yves Saint Laurent in Paris, they told me to come home. Then they wouldn’t let me start my own fashion business—it was just too common for them. Then when I wanted to work for certain very unfashionable causes, like the horrific problem of human trafficking and child prostitution in Southeast Asia, they wouldn’t hear of it. The only acceptable thing for Astrid Leong to do is serve on the board of certain well-vetted institutions, and even those had to be on one of the super-private committees, nothing that would put me in the public eye. It’s like my family has lived for generations so frightened of their own wealth, of the fact that someone might accuse us of being rich, of being vulgar and showy. To me, it’s our wealth that puts us in the fortunate position of being able to do an enormous amount of good in the world, not hide from the world!”

Charlie clapped his hands excitedly. “So come back, Astrid. Come back with me and we can do this together. I know you were in a completely different head space when you wrote me that letter, so I’m going to forget you ever wrote it. I want us to be together. I want you to be my wife, to live your life and be exactly the woman you want to be.”

Astrid looked away for a moment, staring up at the beautiful white villa gleaming in the sun. “It’s not that simple…I don’t know if I’m ready to return yet. I think I need to repair myself for a while longer before I can face the world I left behind.”

“Astrid! The world you left behind has changed so much. Can I please tell you what’s been happening? I think it will help,” Charlie pleaded.

Astrid took a deep breath. “Okay, tell me what you want to tell me.”

“Well first of all, Isabel is out of her coma, and it looks like she’s on her way to a great recovery. She’s suffered quite a bit of memory loss, and she has no clue what happened to her that night, but she’s going to be okay.”

“Thank God,” Astrid muttered, closing her eyes.

“The other big thing that you need to know is that Michael has signed your divorce papers with no contest.”

“What?” Astrid sat up in her chair, completely shocked. “How did this happen?”

“Well, it’s quite a tangled story, but let’s start with the leaked video. It turns out that Isabel was the one who had the video first, not Michael. She had us under surveillance all along. The paparazzi tailing us in India, the video of us in my bedroom, that was all her doing.”