I’m pathetic.

I know you didn’t mean to make me feel that way. It just feels like I wasted so much time. Like you said, and then I said—no one likes to feel stupid. Then I think about how my entire family was aware of it and how they had to have known nothing would ever come of it, and that makes me feel worse. It wasn’t like there was a ton of guys knocking on my door to take my mind away either, so there’s that too. Now I’m just making excuses for being a dummy.

Oh well.

Hope you’re okay.

-Ruby

From: [email protected]

Date: December 8, 2008 12:09 p.m.

To: [email protected]

Subject: You’re Not An Idiot

Ruby,

That was a plot twist I didn’t see coming. Did your brother and sister always know they were gay? Did you know? I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for your older brother having a hot mom. One of my best friend’s moms was smoking hot too. He would get so pissed anytime anyone brought her up. Of course that would only make us comment more.

What did he make from the book?

What exactly does an eighty-year-old dress like? The way I’m picturing it is you in a pink sweater and black shoes with glasses. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you, you don’t seem like you’re shy at all, “half naked” or not. You feeding me a lie?

You said to make a list, so here it is.

Things I learned while in a relationship with my ex (and every ex):

Don’t trust anyone.

Keep the toilet seat lid closed when you’re sharing a bathroom with your girl.

Everyone lies.

We both know who the pathetic one is, and it isn’t you.

Feeling like your heart is broken happens to everyone. My first real girlfriend in high school cheated on me and we stayed together. Then she cheated on me again a month after the first time. Of course I felt stupid for giving her another chance. Fool me once and all that crap, you know? You were a kid. There was no way you could play it off if you liked him. You figure that game out when you’re older. :] That guy didn’t deserve your tears or your time if he knew you had feelings for him and never did anything about it, even if all he did was break your heart by telling you he wasn’t interested. I think mine broke a little at you crying over him. That had to be a reality check. What’d you tell me? Everything happens for a reason?

Not that you’re asking for my opinion, but I think you should try to date someone. Multiple someones. You have a lot of things to make up for. I know some people in great relationships.

-A

P.S. Live your life for both of us while I’m over here… hear me? Don’t let some idiot “rejecting you” make you think everybody will. It’s hard for me to believe you didn’t have a long line of guys trying to hook up with you.

From: [email protected]

Date: December 9, 2008 3:33 a.m.

To: [email protected]

Subject: Hi

Aaron,

They both have always known they were gay, but my sister was the first one to come out. My sister announced she was a lesbian when she was like… sixteen or seventeen, right before my brother, but my mom says she always knew without a doubt about Tali. There are videos of her making her Barbie dolls kiss and she used to say they were married. Sorry for busting your bubble with my sister… not. Lol. My brother came out when he was sixteen I want to say. I think he was worried about how my mom would handle it (remember she was a strict Catholic for a long time and he’s her favorite), but she did fine. Better than fine. She claimed she always “had a feeling.” He had a couple girlfriends before he came out, but they didn’t stay together long for a reason. Him and his friends who were gay were all in the closet and hid it really well. Looking back on it, it makes me sad they had to do that.

I don’t remember exactly what my brother attempted. All I know is that nothing ever worked and he almost died each time he tried something from the book. It wasn’t until he burned his hands and eyebrows off that my mom figured out what he was doing and put a stop to it. If you’re wondering what “putting a stop to it” means, it means she whooped his rear end. Fifteen years old or not, she beat him. That was the one and only time she ever disciplined him I bet.

^^^It still makes me laugh. :)

Lol! You make it sound like I’m a Pink Lady in Grease. I don’t wear glasses, but the flats and cardigans happen when I have to do something work-related.

You need help. Here’s a list in response to yours:

You can trust your best friends, right? (And you can trust me, if you ever wanted to.)

Keeping the toilet seat up while you pee is nice. Try sitting on a wet one when you’re half asleep.

Not everyone lies (but your ex did… and I did too. I’m still sorry about that.)

Was that girlfriend that you forgave for cheating on you your first love or just a first girlfriend? I was a sad mess for about two months after the girlfriend thing. It wasn’t just a few days or nights. I cried and I cried and I cried more. One of my friends thought someone in my family had died. It had felt like it. You picture being with someone for so long, even if you know it’s a fantasy, and it’s tough. A part of me thought he’d come around some day, but that was me living in la-la land. It was a learning experience. He really is a nice, great guy. I couldn’t stay mad at him. Not that I even had anything I could really get mad at. It was my fault.