"Damn it—" I started to say, but Wade raised his hand.

"There was no other choice. Chalk it up to bad luck, or whatever you like, but he's gone. Let's focus on the here and now."

I grumbled but knew he was right. There was nothing we could do now, and Delilah was a good fighter. She wouldn't stake our potential informant unless the danger had been all too real.

Delilah took one look at Sharah as Roz carried her into the room before she raced over to help him, Chase right on her heels.

"Upstairs," he said. "We have a medic station. Follow me."

"Be careful. We don't know if they rampaged the joint before they escaped. They might have circled round and come in topside." I wouldn't put anything past Dredge and his children, especially if it was sneaky, underhanded, or designed to inflict as much pain as possible.

Wade and Trillian guarded the rear while Roz and I led the way. We stopped by the elevator doors, which were next to the stairwell.

"I don't want to chance the elevators," I said. "If there are a bunch of vamps up there, we don't want to be trapped in a little metal box."

Chase eyed the stairs. "That means we have to carry Sharah up three flights and she's pretty badly hurt."

I stepped back. "I could carry her with no problem, except…" I paused, and Delilah immediately understood.

"She's bleeding. Let me do it." Delilah was stronger than Chase.

Not one to get in a snit about it, he immediately acquiesced. "Take her. You can carry her easier and quicker than I can."

Delilah swept Sharah into her arms and, with Roz and me at the helm, began the climb. Chase kept pace right beside her, helping to steady or balance her when she needed it.

At the top of the stairs, I peered through the windows gracing the double doors that led into the main room. While Chase worked out of an office at police headquarters, he also had an office here and divided his time between the two stations.

"Chase, do you know that guy at the desk?" I asked, motioning for him to edge up the steps and peek through the window.

Chase nodded. "Yeah. That's Yugi. He's an empath from Sweden."

"Human?" I asked.

"An FBH just like me," he said. "Do you sense something wrong?"

"No, but—" I stopped as Yugi spotted me. He jumped up and called something over his shoulder. Three men came racing around the corner and headed our way. "Why the fuck didn't they hear the magic sensor go off and come to check on what was going down? Or hear your bullet hitting it?"

"I don't know—" Chase said, pulling out his badge. He stood back as the men burst through the doors. They skidded to a halt when they saw him.

"Sharah!" Yugi said, his face draining of color. "Detective, is she okay?"

"No. We need to get her to Medical right away. Be careful. There are vamps on the loose and they aren't the friendly kind," Chase said, pushing through them and motioning for us to follow him.

"Should we head down there?" Yugi asked, motioning to the stairs.

I interrupted before Chase could say a word. "Do and you put your lives in danger. Seal off this door for now and call in your reserves. This building's going to need a thorough search. You have to be prepared in case the newborns return. The fire exit downstairs is broken and the wires cut. And why the hell didn't you hear the magic detector go off? Chase shot the damned thing and nobody even bothered to come check what was happening. What are you guys running? A Burger Bonzo's or a high-tech crime unit?"

I didn't wait for an answer, but swept past them, following Chase and Delilah, who was cradling the still-bleeding Sharah in her arms. The scent of her blood was driving me crazy, but I'd managed to keep myself under control. I glanced over at Wade. He caught my stare and nodded, almost imperceptibly, and I knew that he, too, was fighting his basic nature.

At the door of the medic lab, Roz and Trillian went in and scoped it out. Trillian popped his head out. "Get her in here."

"Menolly, Wade, why don't you two wait outside the doors? Keep an eye on things?" Roz said.

A shiver ran down my back. He knew. He knew that this was torture, to hunt and chase, then smell the blood and not be able to touch.

"Thank you," I said softly, and he stepped to the side as everyone else entered the room. He took my hands in his.

"I know. I know… for me it's a different thirst, but I understand," he murmured. He suddenly caught me in his arms and pressed his lips against mine. I let out a short gasp as the fire of his kiss ricocheted through my body. Floundering in the waves of sensuality that rolled off of him, I felt like I wanted to drown, to dive into his depths and never surface.

Roz lightly cupped my chin. "If you need me, for anything, you have only to ask. I understand the nature of the chase. I can relieve your stress in ways you can only fantasize." And then, without a word to Wade, he turned and returned to the medic lab.

I leaned against the wall, trying to calm the quivering flames that had flared to life in my stomach. Wade silently crossed to my side. He didn't touch me, but merely stood near, a comforting anchor in the sea of desire that was screaming through every fiber of my being.

"So much… too much," I said, feeling like I might break into brittle shards if one more thing happened before daylight.

"Take a breath. Focus on releasing your hunger," he said.

So I breathed. My lungs didn't need the air, but I needed the ritual, the pattern, the drill. I breathed through my mouth so I wouldn't smell the blood, or Roz's heat that still radiated on my face. I breathed to calm the hunger, to calm the thirst, to subdue the fire that rose darkly within me. I breathed to remind myself that even though I'd left life behind, I was still a sentient creature who had options, who could choose to follow a strict path in which the blood and passion only came through consent, not through the ravaging of the innocent.

And when I'd lost count of the breaths, I stopped and raised my head. "I am Menolly D'Artigo," I said. "I am the daughter of a Guardsman. I am half Fae, half-human. And I am a vampire who chooses to walk the tightrope, who walks in shadows even while I remember what it was to dance under the light. I am in control. Not my nature and not the predator within. I make the choices."

The litany that the OIA had taught me still served me well. I looked over at Wade, who gave me a thin smile.

"I'm back," I said. But somewhere, deep inside, I could hear a dark laughter as the words for now echoed in my mind. And for once, I longed for the hint of first light to pull me into my dreams where I had the chance to escape, to forget, to erase the constant battle that raged in my heart.

CHAPTER 11

On the way home, we knew two things: Sharah would live, and the alarms on the magic detection system didn't reach the guys topside because somebody had thrown a dampening spell on them. In the hallway, on the steps, they sounded. Behind the doors to the main room, they didn't make a sound.

Everybody was exhausted, except me, and even I was emotionally drained. We were missing a friend captured by Dredge and his crew, and we faced at least eight rogue vamps running through the streets, one of them a cute teenage boy who would probably start right in feeding off the high school girls. A gruesome thought, but all too real.

Roz had declined to join us. "I'll see if I can track anything down," he said. "I don't have to sleep much. I can scout around while you get some rest."

Still not sure what to think about him, I accepted his help gratefully. He'd proven himself so far, and while that didn't necessarily mean shit in a cow barn, it did give me hope that maybe he was on the up and up.

Wade had taken off for his nest and Delilah said she'd drive Chase to his apartment before heading for home. Trillian rode back with me. He scowled the entire way.

"What's eating you?" I said as we sped along the highway.

"Camille's totally freaked out about Erin. She was telling me that it's all her fault. That she should never have befriended a human because the potential for collateral damage is too great, considering Shadow Wing and his posse." He glared out the window. "I don't like it when she's unhappy."

"I don't like it either. Pretty soon the 'collateral damage' is going to skyrocket if those demons break through. But if Dredge wasn't out to get me, then there would be somebody else threatening us. Camille should be proud she's here, helping out. If we hadn't stopped Bad Ass Luke, he might have opened the way for Shadow Wing. She's the one who figured out what his weakness was." I skirted a slow moving car and turned up the music.

Trillian grunted. "You and I know that, but I think Camille's just worn out. For all her bravado, she's devastated over the events of the past few months. And she's worried about your father and aunt."

A little exasperated, I said, "Well, so is Delilah. Probably more than Camille. And so am I, for that matter. I just keep my worries hidden better." I stared at the road as my wheels ate up the pavement, grinding it beneath the Jag. "We're in this together. There's no way out and we have to just get used to it."

"You have no friends," Trillian said with a snort. "How can you understand what Camille's feeling? If that sadist kills Erin, Camille will never forgive herself."

"She'd better learn," I said gruffly. "I have to forgive myself for my actions every day. The longer we're at war with Shadow Wing, the more the casualty rate will skyrocket. The demons will become more aggressive and we'll have to do the same. We aren't playing hopscotch here. Yeah, it sucks, but we're talking reality."

Even as the acerbic words left my mouth, I regretted them. I wasn't hardhearted, not really, but I sounded like a total bitch. No wonder Trillian looked down his nose at me. I expected him to make some cutting reply, but he simply turned his face to the window.

After a moment, he said, "You're right, of course. I understand that. I've seen the face of battle all too frequently. And I see it every time I travel home to OW. But Camille and Delilah… They aren't used to all this death and carnage."

"I am," I said softly. "I wish I wasn't, but I am."

"You live with the taste of blood in your mouth. I live with the stain of blood on my hands. We accept it as part of our lives. But those two… they're just starting to find their places in the shadow realm. Delilah's been drafted as a Death Maiden. Camille's taking lessons in death magic from that wolf boy yakuza."

"Knock it off. I'm not impressed. Morio's a youkai, not a member of the yakuza," I said, automatically stepping into Camille's role. But even as I spoke, it struck me that, as hedonistic and self-centered of a manipulator as he was, Trillian really did care.

"Don't flatter yourself, O Fanged One. Impressing you is a low priority on my list." Trillian shook his head. "Aren't you hearing anything I'm saying?"

I rolled my eyes. "You made your point. Is there anything I can do to help them out that I haven't thought of?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. All we can do is offer support and help them adjust. All of the realms are beautiful, but true to nature, there's more terror in the world than joy. And sometimes the two are enmeshed." He looked straight at me. "Like you. You with your bloody bites and your passionate kisses. You can charm the life out of a man and leave him happy to die. You're no less a demon than the creatures we're fighting, but you've chosen to remain true to your ethics."

And with that backhanded compliment, we pulled into the driveway. I didn't bother to answer. He was right, as much as it pained me to admit it. Everything he said was spot on, and I couldn't deny it.

Camille and Morio were sitting in the middle of the living room when we walked through the door. Camille was cross-legged on the floor, a blindfold around her eyes, her wrists bound with silver chains. Morio was kneeling behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders. His hair, silky smooth and flowing to his shoulder blades, reflected the light in its blue-black brilliance. He wore a loose blue and white kimono over simple muslin pants. Camille was dressed in an indigo robe that barely covered her breasts. One of Erin's flannel shirts lay draped across her lap. The music was loud, a throbbing world beat, and Morio was whispering in her ear.

I took one look at the mists that swirled around them and headed for the kitchen. Considering Camille's faulty wiring, and the fact that they'd been delving into death magic, I didn't think it wise to stay in the same room while they were in the middle of conjuring.

Trillian followed me after a grudging glance their way. Delilah sat at the table with Tim and Nerissa, drinking hot cocoa. Iris was making a late-night snack, and Maggie was playing in her playpen. Everything seemed so peaceful, that I longed to believe the illusion that it was a normal night with nothing amiss.

I slid into the chair beside Nerissa, who flashed me a troubled smile. "Delilah told us what happened," she said.

Iris shook her head. "There are too many variables to this situation. You need help. You must to go to Aladril tomorrow night and seek out that seer."

"I agree," I said. "But we're going to pay hell getting Camille to leave now that Erin's missing."

Tim whirled on me. "Iris told me about Dredge. Erin's as good as dead, isn't she?"

Damn it. I flashed her an irritated look, and she shrugged in return. No doubt Tim had pressed her into telling him what she knew. But what he was thinking couldn't be as bad as the reality.