Wait for It Page 115
So I told him the truth, our gazes locked on each other. “I know, J. I’m sorry I scared you. I was scared too, but there was no one else out there—”
“We have neighbors,” he declared, his voice uneven and low so that I knew he didn’t want to let Louie hear what was going on between us. “They could have gone in so you didn’t have to.”
“Josh.” I reached out and tried to take his hands, but he hid them behind his back, making me sigh in exasperation. “No one else was out there. I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t leave Miss Pearl in there and you know it.”
His throat bobbed and he squeezed his eyes closed, killing me a little inside.
“I love you and your bro more than I love anything, J. I would never intentionally leave you,” I whispered, watching his face as I pressed my good palm against my thigh. “I’m sorry that I scared you, but there was no other choice for me but to go in there and get her. You can’t always wait for someone else to do the right thing when you can do it yourself.”
Josh didn’t say anything for a long time as he stood there in front of me. His eyes stayed shut. His hands stayed balled at his sides.
But finally, after what felt like forever, he opened them. They weren’t glassy. They weren’t pained or angry. They looked more resigned, and I wasn’t sure how that made me feel.
“Bad things happen all the time, and we can’t control them. You’ll never know how sorry I am that you’ve had to learn that the hard way. But I love you, and we can’t be scared of shit we can’t do anything about. We can just be happy to be alive and enjoy what we have. I don’t know if something bad will happen to me now or fifty years from now, but I would do anything to stay with you two.” I touched his cheek and watched him let out a shaky exhale. “And like my grandma used to tell me, the devil will probably kick me out of hell the day I die. I won’t go anywhere without a fight.”
He eyed me quietly for a moment before asking, “You swear?”
“I swear.” I touched his head, and he didn’t move away from me that time. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“Me too. You’re not really dumb.”
“Sometimes people say crazy things when they’re upset that they don’t mean. I get it.”
He ducked his chin but kept eye contact with me. “You do that sometimes.”
“When?”
“When you’re… you know…” His cheeks turned pink. “That time every month.”
I was never going to forgive myself for having to break him into the female period so early in his life, but it had happened, and there was nothing I could do to change it. It was him either thinking I was dying, thinking I was a vampire, or knowing the truth. I’d gone with the truth. I’d started making sure I locked the bathroom door after that one incident of him busting in and finding me in the middle of wrapping up a used nighttime pad. It had taken us like two weeks until we were finally able to look each other in the eye again after that.
“Mind your own beeswax. I’m always nice.”
That had him snorting.
“What? I am.” I smiled at him.
“Sure, Tia.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, pleased every single time he called me tia since he did it so rarely now, and he stuck his out right back.
“Morning.” Dallas’s voice made us both jump, the sound of it about fifty times raspier than normal.
I turned to look at him, suddenly remembering how angry he’d been hours ago and feeling uncertain. The expression on his face as he moved into the kitchen and rested his hip against the counter didn’t help any either. In fact, Dallas looked more pissed than I’d ever seen him. How could someone wake up that mad? Those clear hazel eyes flicked down to Josh’s for a moment, a brief smile flashing across his mouth. “Hey, Josh.”
“She just woke up,” my nephew explained quickly.
Dallas’s eyes swung back up to me, the slight smile on his face melting off before he glanced at the forearms I had crossed over my breasts. I’d changed from the night before, and the baggy T-shirt I had on hid everything. “I can tell.” He looked back at my face, and I took in the tendons popping out along the column of his neck. Did his jaw jut out more than normal or was I imagining it? “J, can I talk to your aunt alone for a minute?”
The little traitor nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna take Mac for a walk then.”
“Don’t go far,” Dallas and I both said at the same time, watching each other carefully.
Josh gave us a horrified expression, but just like that, he disappeared.
My neighbor tipped his head toward the kitchen door that led to the backyard, and I followed after him, trying to decide whether to tug my shirt down or not. He’d already seen me in just a tank top and underwear the night before, at least I hadn’t worn a thong to bed.
Out on the back stoop, Dallas took a step down to give me the top and watched me with that intense gaze, his lips pinched together. Even with him giving me the advantage, he was still taller than me.
I raised my eyebrows at him, remembering briefly that he’d called me things last night that hadn’t been okay. “Is Miss Pearl all right?” was the first thing I asked.
“She’s fine,” he answered in a cool, calm voice. Carefully, he said, “You saved her life.”
And risked mine. Just thinking about it sent a shiver up my back. “I couldn’t leave her in there. Anyone would have done it.”