He had the same answer each time: Yes, Tia.

“You can’t go back from this.”

He blinked those beautiful blue eyes at me as he moved away from the breakfast table and went toward the birthday cake I’d just pulled out of the fridge. The white and blue sheet cake we’d bought from the grocery store on the way home said HAPPY 80TH BIRTHDAY, DALASS on the top of it in red icing. Josh and I had fist-bumped each other at least three times at how funny we were.

Louie shrugged as his hands gripped the edge of the kitchen counter. He was so tall now it made my heart hurt a little. Josh had left me in the dark height-wise about three years ago, but I thought I’d had more time with Louie before he grew up. I’d give him another year before he shot up like a rocket, and I knew eventually that would make me cry over the baby he no longer was.

“I know, Tia.” His mouth twitched and he smiled down at the cake. “I really want to.” He eyed me. “You’re sure Dad wouldn’t mind?”

Oh, my fucking brother. A day hadn’t gone by that I didn’t think about him and not wanted to cry, but especially while talking about this… it got to me every single time.

It didn’t help that I was four months pregnant.

Me. Four months pregnant. I still couldn’t pinpoint how or when Dallas had talked me into it, but my guess was he’d convinced me about a year ago. He never brought up having kids outright, but had gone about it the same way he’d made me fall in love with him. Slowly, unexpectedly, and completely.

I also blamed Vanessa for how it happened. If the four of us hadn’t gone to visit her, and I hadn’t seen Dallas playing with her youngest baby, my ovaries might have never been lit on fire. The next thing I knew, we were in the middle of baby-making fever, and I was sure as hell never going to complain about that.

Now I was paying for it with horrible morning sickness and mood swings that had me crying half the day over the dumbest stuff. I’d walk by a picture of my brother randomly? I’d cry. Josh needed a new pair of pants because he’d outgrown his? I’d cry. Dallas left me a Post-It note on the mirror of our bathroom? I’d cry.

It was a little pathetic.

And I wouldn’t change it for anything. Dallas had lit up like a firecracker—like I’d given him the world—and the boys had been more excited than I ever could have imagined when they found out I was expecting the newest member of our family. I now had three over protective males that nagged at me when I carried groceries, took the trash out, and worked too many hours.

Fast-forward to two months after I’d found out I was carrying someone new to love. We were celebrating Dallas’s forty-sixth birthday, just the four of us. One of my distant aunts had died, and my parents were out of town attending the funeral.

When Louie had first asked me if I thought my brother would be fine with what he wanted to do, I hadn’t been sure what to tell him. I wanted to think he’d be okay with it, but how could I really know? But the more I thought about Louie and Dallas’s relationship, taking in how close they were after five years, how much Dallas genuinely loved this boy who had always been my heart…

I had my answer.

“Nothing will ever take him away from you. Your dad would want you to do what makes you happy, Gooey Louie. He’d understand, and I know he would have really liked Dallas.”

Louie nodded slowly, thinking about it, and then nodded with more determination. “Yeah, me too. I wanna do it. I really wanna do it.”

I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. “I know you do, but I want to make sure you understand this isn’t something light. This is a huge decision. Like if I ever get tired of him, we could get a divorce—”

“Over my dead body,” came the reply from behind me.

Shit. How much had he heard?

Dallas came up behind me, his chin coming to a rest on the top of my head as his arm went around to my front to palm my stomach, instantly going to the exact spot where my tiny peanut of life was still hiding. “I’d never let you go anywhere,” he said, and I could already imagine him smiling at Louie from over the top of my head.

I leaned back into him and squeezed the hand that he’d just placed at my hip. “I’d like to see you try to stop me if I wanted to.”

“You wouldn’t make it down the block. You love us too much.”

I laughed. “Us?”

“J and Lou wouldn’t leave me.”

Honestly, he was right. They wouldn’t. I’d been the star of the show until this man came into it and set this space for himself that no one else could ever fill. The boys loved him almost as much as me. I wasn’t even a little upset about it.

That was a lie. Maybe a little. I’d always had problems sharing, but I figured, if they were going to love anybody new, it might as well be him.

Dallas’s chin moved down the side of my head, rubbing the bristles against my temple. “Why are you talking about something that’s never gonna happen?” he asked.

Of course it was never going to happen. If I’d thought I loved Dallas back when he first divorced She Who Was Never Mentioned Again, it was nothing compared to now. He was honest to God, the love of my life, and he told me at least once a week I was the love of his. Via Post-It note, whispered into my ear when we were in bed together at night, said out loud when he gave me a hug….

I eyed Louie and watched him smile as I lied. “We were talking about what to name the baby and how we have to pick something good because it isn’t like we can change it later on. If it’s a girl, I think we’re both still thinking Pearl would be a good name.”