I almost told her that it wasn’t like she’d asked me daily if I was feeling fine or not, but I kept my mouth shut. “No, Mamá. They only tell me if they aren’t.”

“Well, Josh might be sick too. Maybe you should ask from now on, no? You have to remember you don’t only take care of yourself now. You have to take care of them too. Pay more attention.”

It wasn’t very often my mom flayed my parenting skills, but when she went beyond a little comment here and there, she went in for the kill. This was one of those moments. My guilt for not insisting that Louie tell me he was feeling crappy was bad enough, but my mom’s words just severed all the veins and arteries that connected my heart to the rest of my body. I should have asked more questions when I’d noticed his pallor. She was right. It was my fault, and I felt awful instantly.

In a cool, smaller voice, I said, “Okay. I get it. Thank you for picking up Louie. Let me know how much I owe you for the doctor’s visit, and I’ll pay you back—”

“You don’t have to pay me anything.”

Well, I sure as hell didn’t want to owe her a cent after the reaming she’d just given me. “No, I’ll pay you for it and the medicine. I’ll call Josh’s school right now and check on him. Thank you for picking up, Lou.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” my mom said as if she could sense the distance I was throwing between us. This had always been our relationship: she went in like a battering ram and didn’t worry about what she damaged until afterward. I didn’t want to think too much about how similar we might be from time to time.

“Well, I want to. If he isn’t feeling well, I’ll call the Larsens and see if they can pick up Josh so you don’t have to. You’ve done enough. Thank you.”

“Diana—”

“I need to get back to work. If it’s an emergency call my work. I gave the school the number for the salon, but I guess they didn’t write it down. I’ll make sure to take your number off the contact list—”

“No seas asi.” Don’t be like that, she said.

How else could I be when she tore all the love, time, and effort I put into Josh and Louie to shreds in seconds? How? I didn’t do everything for them, but I did a lot, and no one could say I didn’t put them first. But that was exactly what my mom had implied and it hurt a hell of a lot more than it should have. I didn’t think she ever would have told my brother what she had just said to me if he hadn’t been able to get off work to pick them up.

“I get off work at seven. I’ll pick Lou up then….” For one brief, hurtful moment, I thought about not telling my mom I loved her. Every single time we got off the phone, I made sure to. That went with all of my loved ones. But as quickly as the thought came into my head, I knew I couldn’t do it, no matter how angry I was. So I rushed it. “Love you, bye.”

I hung up on her and didn’t even feel bad about it.

I had done a lot of stupid, selfish things in my life, but I didn’t want Louie or Josh to ever be affected by those kinds of decisions. Not ever. But my mom had stomped on me and made me feel like the biggest douchebag on the planet, even if I had asked Louie if he was okay.

I was trying my best, I thought. Most of the time I did pretty well.

Pon más atención.

Oh man, it felt like she’d sucker punched me. I did pay attention to them. How could she make it seem like I didn’t?

All this weight settled nicely on my chest, and I let my heart swim around in my mom’s words. I had just let out a deep, shaky breath when I heard, “Diana!”

Literally standing three feet away from me, in the opposite direction I’d been facing, were Trip and Dallas right outside of the tattoo parlor next door to the deli I had, at some point, stopped pacing in front of. Great. Had they overheard? “Hi,” I greeted Trip a little weakly, knowing he was the one who had called my name.

He didn’t even try to pretend he hadn’t listened in. “You okay, honey?”

Being judged and found lacking by the people who were supposed to love you never left anyone feeling all right, and I didn’t see a point in pretending otherwise when chances were he had heard enough to know I wasn’t. I wasn’t trying to impress him, or much less Dallas, by not being upset at something so personal. “You ever disappoint your parents?” I asked the blond with a forced smirk, trying to make light of something I wanted to believe happened to every child no matter what the age—something I didn’t want to ever have Lou or Josh feel.

Trip’s chuckle was so rich and honest, I knew I had done the right thing by not going the strong route. “Only every day.”

I couldn’t help but smile a little, even if he was lying.

He winked at me before asking, “Getting lunch?” with that flirty grin that didn’t do anything for me right then.

“I just needed to get out of the salon for a minute to deal with this,” I said, giving my phone a shake as I kept my gaze on Trip and not the brown-haired man beside him who had eaten dinner at our place two nights ago. “Getting a tattoo on your lunch break?” I tried to joke.

It was my neighbor who responded, forcing me to glance in his direction. “No. I’m getting some work done,” he explained just like that.

“Oh.” I nodded and looked away from him, not sure how long it was okay for me to make eye contact before I crossed the fine line of our friendship or whatever it was. “Umm, my little one is sick right now, and I’m not sure if Josh caught it or not.”