At which, I burst into tears and told him to write whatever he liked. I haven’t told Pete this, but sometimes at work I get up that Facebook video of him reading to David on the play mat and watch it over and over. That’s the family I could have had. Should have had, even. And—much as I adored the family I did have—I didn’t find the idea off-putting. Pete just looked so right with David, so natural. So if he’s correct, and a mollifying email is what’s now required to reset the relationship with the Lamberts, it’s a price worth paying.

Our friends, of course, had been stunned by what they’d witnessed. “A nutter as well as a prick” was Richard’s assessment, and it did seem apt. As usual, Pete tried to see both sides—“He’s just like that. He blows his top, and then it’s all forgotten”—but even he had to admit that Miles’s behavior had been downright weird.

And besides, Miles hadn’t blown his top. That was one of the things that was so strange about it—the eerie calm with which he’d hurled his insults at us.

I made Pete take out a bit in the first draft where he apologized more profusely for not going to Cornwall, though. It might have been our suggestion to spend the day together, I pointed out, but we’d never signed up for a long weekend, let alone a whole week. If we implied we were in the wrong about that, Miles would simply walk all over us.

It was me who insisted on the bit about unacceptable language, too. Because I’m not having some rich entitled pom thinking he can walk into my home and call it a shithole.

* * *

—

WE FINALLY SEND THE email at four P.M. Miles doesn’t reply. Not that evening, or on Easter Monday.

“What do I do tomorrow?” Pete says over supper. “Take Theo to the Lamberts’ as usual, or keep him here?”

“God, I don’t know.” I think. “I suppose, if you do take him, at least it’ll be a chance to talk to Lucy. Find out where she stands.”

“Or there might be a massive row. If Miles is there, I mean.”

“Maybe a massive row is what’s required right now.”

“Um,” Pete says. “In front of Theo?”

I glance at him. If Pete has a weakness, it’s that sometimes he’ll try to smooth things over when what’s really required is a bit of shouting. But he’s right, of course—we shouldn’t be teaching Theo that shouting is how adults resolve disagreements, at least not while his own behavior is still so erratic. “Then why not keep him home for a day?” I suggest. “That might give Miles a reason to get back in touch, after all.”

47

    PETE

SO I KEPT THEO home.

Around eleven, while Theo was drawing what he claimed were dinosaurs on the giant pad we kept especially for rainy days, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen. MILES LAMBERT. Slightly apprehensive, I answered it. “Hello?”

“Pete, mate. What’s up?” Miles said cheerfully. “Is Theo all right?”

“Theo’s good, thanks. Why?”

“Lucy texted to say you hadn’t turned up this morning.”

“That’s right,” I said cautiously. “You hadn’t replied to our email, so we weren’t sure if you were expecting him.”

“Of course we were. That was the deal, right? Daytimes at ours, nights at yours.”

I frowned. “I don’t think we exactly formalized that into a deal, Miles.”

Silence.

“Did you read our email?” I added.

“Yes. Well, the first few lines anyway. It was a bit long, to be honest. But I got the gist. Look, apology accepted. Water under the bridge. And let’s face it, I probably spoke a little hastily as well.”

I took a deep breath. “Miles, we need to sort this out.”

“Consider it sorted. Anyway, now we’re all good, how soon can you get Theo over to Highgate?”

“I need to think about that,” I said firmly. “Definitely not today, and as for tomorrow…Look, you should know that we have reservations about how this whole nanny-share thing is going to work. Whether it’s really the best thing for Theo. In the long term, I mean.”

There was a brief silence. Then, in the calm, distant voice I was getting so familiar with, Miles said, “Well, don’t think too fucking long, Pete.”

And then the phone went dead.

* * *

—

I RELATED ALL THIS to Maddie when she got home. “It’s like a switch inside him suddenly gets thrown. Then, when the switch goes back again, it’s as if it never happened.”

Maddie nodded. “I think Lucy’s scared of him, too.”

As if on cue, our doorbell rang. We looked at each other. “Speak of the devil,” I said quietly.

I went and pulled the door open, determined that this time I wasn’t going to give any ground.

But as the man on the doorstep moved his umbrella, I saw it wasn’t Miles. It was Don Maguire, the private investigator. He was holding out a thick white envelope, rapidly spotting with raindrops.

“I need to serve you this,” he said. When I took it, he added, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” Then he turned and walked away through the rain.

Mystified and slightly alarmed, I took the envelope indoors and opened it. It contained a thick bundle of documents. At the top were two sheets, slightly damp, both headed Notice of Proceedings. I saw Miles’s name.

“What is it?” Maddie asked.

“I’m not sure. But whatever it is, it doesn’t look good.” Quickly, I pulled the papers out and flicked through them. An official-looking document headed Declaration of Parentage. A photocopy of a birth certificate—Theo’s. Something about mediation. And several blank forms headed Respondent’s Copy.

“They’re legal papers,” I said, baffled. “There’s a date for some sort of court hearing. But I don’t understand. When I spoke to Miles, he didn’t say anything about this.”

Underneath the Notice of Proceedings was a form headed C1: Application for an order, Children Act 1989 except care and supervision orders, Section 8 orders and orders related to enforcement of a contact order. None of the words meant anything to me. I went through it line by line, desperate to understand what was going on. The first section was headed About you—Person completing this application. Miles had filled in his own name and address.

Section 2 was headed The child(ren) and the order(s) applied for. For each child state (1) the full name, and (2) the type of order(s). Underneath, Miles had written:

David Leopold Lambert—Special Guardianship Order

Theo Riley—Child Arrangements Order

“Oh my God.” I felt the blood drain from my face.

“What?” Maddie said, concerned. “Is it Theo? He’s not trying to swap them back after all?”

“It’s worse than that,” I said slowly. “I think he’s trying to get them both.”

48

Case no. 12675/PU78B65: CAFCASS “Welcome Pack” letter received by Peter Riley and Madelyn Wilson, signed by Lyn Edwards, Family Court Adviser.

Dear Ms. Wilson and Mr. Riley, CAFCASS, the Children and Family Court Advisory Service, has been asked by the court to work with you and your child/ren. Our job is to provide the court with advice to help it decide on future arrangements for your child/ren.

I understand that this is a difficult time for you and your family. At CAFCASS our job is to make sure children are safe and that their views and interests are taken into account. This means that I need to ask questions about your situation. In the first instance I will telephone you to discuss any concerns you may have about the safeguarding of your child/ren. I will also telephone other parties in the case to seek their views. Following those calls, I will write a letter to the court setting out whether there are any safeguarding issues that the court should be aware of, and if so, what I think should be done about them.

We recognize that you may not be in agreement with recommendations I may make to the court and this can be challenged during the court proceedings. If, however, you are unhappy with any part of my practice, please tell me or my manager as soon as possible so that we can quickly understand your concerns and try to put things right.

Yours sincerely,

Lyn Edwards

Family Court Adviser Wherever possible CAFCASS uses recycled paper and black ink to reduce costs and our carbon footprint.

Case no. 12675/PU78B65, Exhibit 24, retrieved from DadStuff.net.

HELP—NEED GOOD CHILD LAW SOLICITOR URGENTLY.

Homedad85—Level 5 poster. Member since 2018.

Need a lawyer who knows about family law. Just been served 2x Notice of Proceedings—first hearing is in THREE WEEKS. Received a bunch of forms (C1, C100, C1A, and a letter from some people called CAFCASS) and SOMEONE APPEARS TO HAVE GOTTEN A COURT TO CHANGE MY SON’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE WITHOUT US BEING TOLD ABOUT IT. The form has our name and address but one letter of our postcode has been changed. That makes it illegal, surely?

Please help asap. Going out of our minds with worry.

Graham775

Your best bet is to find a solicitor using the search engine on the Law Society website.

Onefineday Birth certificate is for recording child’s parents. Someone appears to have convinced a court that your DS isn’t actually yours. I wonder how that can have happened?

Tanktop

Went through court and CAFCASS with my ex. Horrible experience, but can’t recommend Anita Chowdry highly enough—child lawyer at Burnham Phillips. She’s not cheap but she’s worth every penny.

Onefineday

“Child lawyer,” Tanktop? Wouldn’t OP be better off with a grown-up?

49

    MADDIE