“If that were all it took, wouldn’t hundreds of poems by Japanese poets get published every year? Clearly what he wrote was good. How come no one’s talking about that?”

Harry Blatt, my boss, blusters through the break room, his coat a tornado around his legs. “I hate rain,” he announces. “Why didn’t I move to Arizona?” With that greeting, he grabs a cup of coffee and holes himself up in his office.

I follow him, knocking softly on the closed door.

Harry is still hanging up his drenched coat when I enter. “What?” he asks.

“You remember that case I arraigned—Ruth Jefferson?”

“Prostitution?”

“No, she’s the nurse from Mercy–West Haven. Can I take it?”

He settles behind his desk. “Right. The dead baby.”

When he doesn’t say anything else, I stumble to fill the void. “I’ve been practicing for five years, almost. And I feel really connected to this one. I’d like the opportunity to try it.”

“It’s a murder,” Harry says.

“I know. But I really, really think I’m the right public defender for this case,” I say. “And you’re going to have to give me a felony sooner or later.” I smile. “So I’m suggesting sooner.”

Harry grunts. Which is better than a no. “Well, it would be good to have another go-to lawyer for the big cases. But since you’re a rookie, I’ll have Ed second-chair it with you.”

I’d rather have a Neanderthal sitting at the table with me.

Oh, wait.

“I can do it myself,” I tell Harry. It isn’t until he finally nods that I realize I’ve been holding my breath.

—

I COUNT THE hours and the arraignments I have to slog through before I’m free to drive to the women’s prison. As I sit in traffic, I run over opening conversations in my mind that will allow Ruth to have confidence in me as her attorney. I may not have tried a murder before, but I’ve done dozens of drug and assault and domestic jury trials. “This isn’t my first rodeo,” I say out loud to the rearview mirror, and then roll my eyes.

“It’s an honor to represent you.”

Nope. Sounds like a publicist meeting Meryl Streep.

I take a deep breath. “Hello,” I try. “I’m Kennedy.”

Ten minutes later, I park, shrug on a mantle of false confidence, and stride into the building. A CO with a belly that makes him look ten months pregnant sizes me up. “Visiting hours are over,” he says.

“I’m here to see my client. Ruth Jefferson?”

The officer scans his computer. “Well, you’re out of luck.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“She was released two days ago,” he says.

My cheeks flame. I can only imagine how stupid I look, losing track of my own client. “Yes! Of course!” I pretend that I knew this all along, that I was only testing him.

I can still hear him snickering as the door of the prison closes behind me.

—

A COUPLE OF days after I send a formal letter to Ruth’s house—the address of which I have from the bail posting—she comes to the office. I am headed to the copy machine when the door opens and she walks in, nervous and hesitant, as if this cannot possibly be the right place. With the bare bones and the stacks of boxes and paper, we look more like a company that is either setting up shop or closing its doors than a functional legal office.

“Ruth! Hello!” I hold out my hand. “Kennedy McQuarrie,” I say.

“I remember.”

She is taller than I am, and stands with remarkable posture. I think, absently, that my mother would be impressed.

“You got my letter,” I say, the obvious. “I’m glad you’re here, because we’ve got a lot to talk about.” I look around, wondering where I am going to put her. My cubicle is barely big enough for me. The break room is too informal. There’s Harry’s office, but he’s in it. Ed is using the one client meeting room we have to take a deposition. “Would you like to grab a bite? There’s a Panera around the corner. Do you eat…”

“Food?” she finishes. “Yes.”

I pay for her soup and salad, and pick a booth in the back. We talk about the rain, and how we needed it, and when the weather might turn. “Please,” I say, gesturing to her food. “Go ahead.”

I pick up my sandwich and take a bite just as Ruth bows her head and says, “Lord, we thank you for our food, furnishing our bodies for Christ’s sake.”

My mouth is still full as I say Amen.

“So you’re a churchgoer,” I add, after I swallow.

Ruth looks up at me. “Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. In fact, it’s good to know, because it’s something that can help a jury like you.”