Author: Robyn Carr

“Helplessness. The thing I really can’t deal with at all. You can’t do what I do if you feel out of control and helpless. Man...if we hadn’t been standing in a parking lot...”

“Parking lot?” Gina asked.

“At the high school. But there was no one around.”

“That you know of,” Gina said. “There could’ve been teenagers in parked cars, making out. Or whatever.”

Sarah groaned. She rubbed the bridge of her nose with a finger and thumb. “Thank God Landon was already home.”

“It’s probably fine. There was probably no one to see. But maybe you should be prepared, in case, you know...”

“What am I going to do? Say?”

“Smile. Like this,” Gina said, demonstrating a mysterious smile. “You’re over twenty-one. He’s over twenty-one. Kissing isn’t illegal and it doesn’t necessarily lead to marriage. Sometimes it doesn’t even lead to more kissing. It’s not poor form to have a kiss good-night after a dinner out. You really don’t have to explain to anyone. You certainly don’t have to apologize.”

“Right,” she said, giving a nod. “Except, this would be such a mistake.”

“Remember, people aren’t in your head, Sarah. They don’t know the idea of a man scares you to death or that you’re determined not to set yourself up for disappointment again. No one knows but me, and I’m not telling.” Then she grinned. “We should go out sometime. I mean, really out—not just to Cliffhanger’s. We should go to Bandon or Coquille or something. Someplace where we’re not sharing secrets in front of the neighbors.” Then she threw a look over her shoulder. “Or the cook.”

“Oh, my God! Do you think Stu...?”

“One thing about Stu, if he hears something interesting, he can’t stay out of it. He’d be right out here giving you advice. This is his downtime before lunch. He’s probably done cleaning his kitchen and in his office, pretending to do paperwork while he watches sports on his little TV. Paperwork that he’ll just ask me to do later.”

“I hope so.”

“Don’t be so embarrassed. If it had been Ray Anne in the parking lot, she’d have been bent over the hood of the car with her skirt around her waist in just seconds.”

“No way!”

“Way. Some people think the high school football team was named in her honor. The Cougars.”

They both laughed and Gina refilled their coffees.

“What am I going to do about him? I really can’t afford to move.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Gina said, lifting her cup. “One thing I do know, though. A couple of girls like us, we shouldn’t have such pathetic love lives. It just isn’t healthy.”

“I’ve only tried having a love life a couple of times since college—and it hasn’t gone well.”

After a moment of silence, Gina said, “A good friend of yours?”

“Yeah. I know. Does it get any worse than that?”

“Holy Jesus, girlfriend. That’s almost as bad as getting knocked up at fifteen.”

* * *

Cooper was sitting on a chair he’d dragged down to the dock because the building noise in the bar was too loud to think. The renovation had started and was in full swing, the progress already measurable. He was impressed they were working on Saturday. The contractor said, “Every day off is a day without pay.”

This was right up Rawley’s alley. He came over every morning, never said a thing, worked as support staff. If he was asked to do something, like hold a board or tool or drag some debris to the industrial-size Dumpster, he gave a nod and did so. He left when he was ready. Or maybe when he figured his father needed him at home. Cooper was doing his best to log his hours so he could pay him.

Cooper’s laptop was open and he was surfing the net when he saw her. Sarah, with Ham, racing through the surf at water’s edge. It had been way too long; a week had passed like a year. Even now, her trek across the beach was too slow.

He stopped looking at the laptop. A smile tugged at his lips. She had a way of walking that just knocked him out, a gentle sway, a purposeful yet unhurried stride. It wasn’t erotic or flirtatious, it was all woman—a woman who knew what she wanted. And as she got near, she smiled at him. Ham made it to him first and he took the soggy ball out of his drooling mouth and threw it. He wiped his hand on his pants. Within seconds, Hamlet was back for another throw.

“Hey,” she said.

He closed the laptop. “Where have you been?”

She put a foot up on the dock. “Mostly working.”

“24/7?” he asked.

“Did you need something, Cooper?”

He needed another one of those crazy, deep, incredible kisses that made him go all flat-footed. “I wanted to call you, ask you to dinner. My treat. I don’t have your phone number.”

Instead of answering with an excited acceptance to both the date and her number, she asked, “Whatcha doing there? Emails?”

“Looking at job postings.”

“Ah, you’re ready to go back to work?”

“Just looking. I’m curious about what’s out there. I’ll have to get a job eventually.”

“So, what’s out there?”

“Lots of instructor positions, mostly civilian jobs with the Army. Some civilian rescue, one corporate chopper, and then there’s firefighting—primarily California, Arizona and Colorado.”

“Interesting. Obviously, I’ve never looked. Anything around here?”

“The closest is California.”

“Are you sending in résumés?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I’m just curious. I’m not ready yet.”

She laughed at that. “I have to admit, I’m envious. Aside from leave, I haven’t taken much time off. Never more than two weeks, and I usually eat most of that up moving. You don’t like to make plans, do you, Cooper?”

He shrugged. “I make some. I need to see my family pretty soon—they’re getting cranky. It’s been almost a year. I’m teasing them with a possible Christmas showing, but it’s still a maybe. You do like plans, don’t you, Sarah?”

She nodded and smiled. “Down to the second, months in advance, if possible. I’m very well organized.”

“Or controlling,” he suggested.

“Possibly, but that’s irrelevant, as I only control my own activities. I try to stay flexible where my brother is concerned.”

“Landon’s looking better,” Cooper said.

“I figured you’d seen him this week—he had to take a week off from football practice. He’s a little irritable. He goes to practice to watch—although I’m not sure what he’s watching more closely, the plays or the cheerleaders.”

“Did you talk to him about Morrison?” Cooper asked.

“I did. I told him about the restaurant scene. Did he say anything to you?”

“Not until I told him myself. It seemed to make him angry and more worried about you than himself. Have you talked to Mac?”

“I called him early last week. And Mac also talked to Landon. He has an edge, you know. Landon and Mac’s daughter are an item—the romance of the homecoming dance hasn’t worn off. Landon is now convinced to tell Mac if there’s any trouble.” She smiled at him. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask Landon for my cell number if you wanted it.”

“I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea,” he said. “Unless you confide in your brother, he doesn’t know we...” He cleared his throat. “What we did after dinner.”

“It was just a kiss, Cooper.”

“Nah. I’ve been kissed. It wasn’t just a kiss. I’ve been thinking—”

He was cut off by the sound of a horn. He turned to see a late-model BMW inching its way down the road toward the building. The driver honked again.

“Who’s that?” Sarah asked.

“I have no idea,” he said, not making a move.

“Should you go see?”

“No,” he said. “I should get your phone number. And we should plan a date or something.”

But the BMW parked and who should get out but Ray Anne. She stood next to her car and waved at them.

“Shit,” Cooper said. He waved back, but he didn’t move.

“Cooper, I think she wants you to go up there, talk to her or something.”

“I’m busy,” he said. “Now come on, don’t make me beg.”

Sarah laughed at him. “I think that idea has merit. Beg for me, Cooper.”

“Hank! Hank Cooper!” came Ray Anne’s distant cry. Ah, there she was, standing on the deck with a briefcase in one hand and a purse strap over her shoulder. It was a beautiful, sunny day, but it was still chilly on the bay. Ray Anne was dressed in a short black skirt with a slit up one side that was apparent even from this great distance. She also wore a short black jacket with something red under it, her cleavage straining to be free, and high-heeled boots. Her teased blond hair didn’t move in the wind.

Cooper just waved again, not getting up.

“Cooper,” Sarah said disapprovingly, but with humor in her voice. “You are incredibly rude.”

“I’m rude? Did I go to her house, stand up on her hill and shout at her? I didn’t invite her, she didn’t call ahead. She’s rude. I’m busy!”

“Does she have your number?” Sarah asked.

“Oh, you can count on it, although I didn’t give it to her. I also never told her my given name, but she called me Hank the first time we met, even though Mac introduced me as Cooper. She wants something.”

“Undoubtedly,” Sarah said.

And here she came, picking her way down the wooden stairs that led to the beach, not exactly the best path for high heels and a tight, short skirt.

“If she falls, you’re going to have to marry her to keep from getting sued,” Sarah said.

“I’m going to put a rail on those stairs. Two rails, one on each side.” Cooper groaned. “Come on, Sarah. Make her go away.”

“Actually, I think I’m going to go away. You’re on your own.”

“Great,” he grumbled. “This started out so well, too. I was just about to score.”

“Don’t look now, hotshot—with very little effort, you can still score.” And then she laughed again. “I just love it.”

“You’re going to pay for this,” he said.

“Well, Hank! Sarah!” Ray Anne was a little breathless. “What are you two up to?”

“Well, I’m walking the dog on the beach,” Sarah said. “How are you, Ray Anne?”

“Wonderful! Fantastic! Bleech,” she added as Hamlet nudged her with his drooling mouth and left a gob on her short black skirt.

“Oh, sorry,” Sarah said, pulling a rag out of her pocket and wiping at the skirt. “He doesn’t mean to be disgusting, he’s just a sweet dog with a saliva issue. There, I think I got it. Does that look all right to you?”

“Fine,” Ray Anne said impatiently. “Shouldn’t he be on a leash?”

“Probably, but it would have very little impact on the saliva problem or his ability to spread it. He’s just about as big as you are, Ray Anne.” Then she turned to Cooper. “Nice seeing you, Cooper. Good luck on the job search.” And she turned abruptly and fled.

“Job search?” Ray Anne asked. “What kind of job?”

“Just poking around the internet to see if there’s anything interesting out there. What brings you to the beach, Ray Anne?”