A Prince on Paper Page 25
Besides, what if her fantasy did become reality? She would just be a plaything for a man like Johan, and that wasn’t what she wanted or needed.
Friendship is enough, she reminded herself. She had so few friends. She would ignore the heat that had been in his gaze, and had pooled reciprocally in her belly.
Her horse stamped impatiently and turned its head to give her serious side-eye.
“Sorry,” she said, patting the horse’s neck gingerly.
Johan was a playboy, and offering to debauch women was what playboys did. She wouldn’t think about it again.
“Ignore him,” she said to Kotsi and Fabiola. “He’s just being weird.”
Chapter 6
The wedding of Prince Thabiso and Princess Naledi is today (check out our live feed and cover story), and our source in Thesolo claims that love is in the air! While Prince Lukas has been misbehaving back home, calling his future leadership abilities into question, rumors are circulating about Jo-Jo and a mystery woman being found in a compromising position—more than once! There is speculation that the woman is Nya Jerami (photo; back left; credit: InstaPhoto of Portia Hobbs), cousin of the bride! Could this reportedly demure former schoolteacher really be the woman to capture Jo-Jo’s heart?
—The Looking Glass Daily, Royal Beat
Johan tried to shake his strange mood as he prepared for the wedding ceremony in the private chamber in the temple. The last wedding he’d attended that he’d actually had some stake in had been Mamm’s. He was happy for his friends, but also fought thin tendrils of anxiety that bound his cheer.
“Are you nervous? Ball. Chain. Etcetera.”
“Why? We’re already married,” Thabiso said, adjusting the collar of his traditional jacket in the mirror. Outside, in the larger chamber, the other members of Thabiso’s wedding party laughed and talked amongst themselves. “We’re already living happily ever after, mate. This is just an excuse to rub it in everyone’s faces.”
“Have you not noticed that the prince is a bit overconfident?” Likotsi asked as she brushed Thabiso’s hands aside and adjusted the collar herself.
“Yes, but now you’ll be very married,” Johan said, not quite sure what he was getting at. He lifted his chin as Likotsi shifted her attention to him, making sure the suit he’d been gifted—slightly less ornate than Thabiso’s, and a blend of traditional tuxedo and modern Thesolo style—was in proper order.
“I want to be very married,” Thabiso said, then raised a brow at Johan. “Not everyone can live the eternal bachelor life. Even Likotsi has settled down.”
She shot him an annoyed look.
“I pride myself on doing what the average man can’t,” Johan said with a flippancy he didn’t really feel.
Now Likotsi’s pointed look was transferred to Johan, her eyes telling him that his hijinks weren’t appreciated.
“I’m glad you both have found happiness, meng ami.” Johan said before they left the room to be caught up in the whirlwind of a royal wedding. “Let’s go get you married again.”
Love was for brave fools and Johan was entirely too clever and too cowardly to succumb to it. Loneliness wasn’t exactly a jaunt down the Riviera, but at least he was in control of it. He didn’t allow himself to become attached to many people, which kept the fear of them being snatched away from him at manageable levels.
It was a perfectly reasonable way to live. It was necessary.
Still . . . he hadn’t stopped thinking of Nya’s pleasant shock when he’d admitted what he should not have admitted ever—that he would do anything she wished, including debauchery.
Especially debauchery.
He was off his game and his control had slipped, yet again; he was starting to worry that Nya emitted some kind of antibullshit wave that stripped him of his power of persuasion.
Kryptonite, indeed.
He’d enjoyed their day together. He was no stranger to physical attraction, clearly. That was one aspect of his persona that wasn’t made-up; even though Jo-Jo still felt like the introverted boy teased endlessly by his peers, he now presented a package that attracted a very different kind of teasing. He’d grown to appreciate how women and men responded to the idea of him, even if no one ever really saw past the surface. He liked sex, and he liked the people he had sex with, but he always returned to his solitary life of jet-setting and charities and, above all, watching out for Lukas.
But he’d wanted to stay out on that goat hunt with Nya. He’d wanted to listen to her talk about the genus and species of flowers, and he didn’t give a damn about flowers. He’d wanted to see her laugh and play with the shepherd children, and pick up tender chunks of roast goat and suck the juices from her fingers. He hadn’t wanted the day to end, and that was not a good thing.
Control.
Johan didn’t do attachment. He had his close friends, and his brother, and his stepfather. But there was a built-in distance with those people, no matter how dearly he loved them. He could pop in and see them, satisfy his selfish desire to be in their presence and see their smiling faces, and then run off without explanation because that was what they now expected from him.
Nya was different. Something about her made his whole body feel light and fluffy like buchtel, as if her sweetness was somehow transferred to him. Johan had never cared much for sweets before, but he suddenly had an insatiable craving, and it frightened him.