She let go of his lapels, leaned back against the wall, and looked up at him.

“I was doing it to make you feel good, not better.” She shook her head in frustration. “Don’t speak to me as if I act without thinking, like I’m some windup girl programmed by my father. I’m not as experienced, but—”

“You keep saying that,” Johan interrupted, leaning his head closer to hers, “but you’re incorrect. I’m definitely not a virgin, but I don’t have experience with this.”

Nya felt that stubborn dream in her heart perk up its ears.

“What is this for you?” Her hands came to his face both to calm him and to hold his gaze to hers. He nuzzled into her hand and sighed, laughing with a resignation that might have hurt her if she didn’t have an inkling of what he was resigning himself to, and why he found it so difficult.

“It’s . . .”

Nya was glad she was holding him, because he did seem to be considering running out of the room rather than answering.

“It’s caring, Nya. It’s caring when I told myself I never would. It’s caring when I know what will happen.”

“You don’t know what will happen,” she said gently. “If you do, we should go play the lottery. I still haven’t found a job.”

“Exactly.” He frowned. “Some things are inevitable. One way or another, you will leave me.”

Outside the door, she heard the singer’s voice rise and fall while holding a mournful note.

“Like your mother did?”

“I guess I have some issues I haven’t quite worked through,” he said ruefully. “More reason for you to turn and run.”

“What if I don’t want to run?” she asked.

“When I think of losing you . . .” His eyes squeezed shut and he shook his head.

“Oh, my sweet Phoko.” Her own eyes were warm and close to overflowing, and her thumbs brushed his cheekbones as if wiping away the tears he refused to shed. “You know what to do if you don’t want me to leave.”

He dropped his forehead to hers, and there was a hint of mischief in his eyes now. “Trick you so that I can spirit you away to my underground lair?”

She laughed softly. “No. All you have to do is ask.”

“Like your father did?” She knew he didn’t say it to hurt her, but because he was always thinking of the ways people could be made to do what others wanted.

She brushed her mouth against his. “He never asked—he demanded. And he prioritized his pain over my wishes. If you’re trying to compare yourself to him to drive me away, be accurate.”

He exhaled, ragged and harsh.

“Stay,” he said suddenly, desperately, the need so apparent in that one low word that her own throat went rough with emotion. “Please? Stay.”

She nodded, her forehead rubbing against his. If he was taking chances with his feelings, she would, too. She was going to keep being brave. “I won’t promise happily-ever-after, because you don’t seem to believe in that. I’m giving you right now. Because I love you.”

“Nya.” Johan squeezed his eyes shut again before finally taking her in his arms. “Thank you.”

“It’s a very basic truth. No need for thanks.”

He chuckled. “I love you, too. I’ve been worried this would happen since I first saw you in Thabiso’s apartment.”

Nya froze as his words sank in. “But . . . you couldn’t even remember my name on the plane.”

“I’m a very good liar. And I’m not nice.”

She looked at him for a long while, then shook her head. “You put on an elaborate act of not knowing who I was . . . why?”

He raised his brows, an she read the fear and confusion in his flashing blue eyes. “To push you away because I was afraid of what would happen if I didn’t. Because I was afraid of this. That’s normal, right?”

She shook her head. “You are so weird.”

He didn’t seem to notice the affection in her words, so she didn’t leave him hanging. “Well, then. I guess you really do love me if you were willing to go to that much trouble.”

His head tilted to the side and angled down, the motion so fast that she barely saw the way his mouth curved into a grin before he moved in toward her. His lips were soft and he still tasted faintly of the sweet tamarind candy she’d passed him just after they’d taken their seats.

His kiss was hungry—more wolf than fox, despite the nickname she’d given him. His body pressed her against the wall with the slightest pressure as he kissed her, as if making sure she really would stay but ready to release her if she wished. Then he covered her lips with his own and his tongue sought out hers.

His hands smoothed over her braids, caressed her neck, planed down her bare shoulders, and Nya was almost overcome by the harsh reverence in his touch. There was so much care in the balance between delicate and demanding. He kissed her like that for what felt like forever, and she held on to him, their sighs and licks and nibbles writing a new chapter in their shared story, one that had nothing to do with pain and loss and fear.

When her mouth was plump and sensitive from Johan’s kisses, he dropped to his knees in one smooth motion, one hand making use of the slit in her skirt to skim up her glutes and cup her ass. He looked up at her, his own mouth slick and swollen, his eyes flashing with desire.