Because I crossed a line I never should have and made things weird between us.

And left him with no one to turn to.

My chest heaves as big, ugly tears roll down my cheeks.

I feel like I just ripped the scab off the deepest of scars and poured salt in the wound.

Making a fist, I punch my head, as if the action alone can quell the revulsion burning through my system. “I’m so disgusting. So. Fucking. Disg—”

Oakley’s hand wraps around my wrist.

And then he’s hauling me into his arms, hugging me so tight it steals all the air from my lungs.

“No, you’re not. Far from it.”

“Then you must not have heard what I said.”

“I heard every fucking word.” He locks my jaw in his hand. “You were just trying to ease his pain.” He frames my face in his hands. “That doesn’t make you disgusting. It makes you a good sister. A good sister who would do anything for someone she loves because underneath that tough, stubborn exterior…she has a huge heart.”

His words only make me cry harder.

Despite my fears about spilling my secrets, Oakley didn’t judge me.

Like always, he accepts my demons.

He runs his fingers up and down my naked back. “What happened between you two that day…it’s not why Liam killed himself.”

He doesn’t get it. “Yes, it is. He didn’t have anyone to talk to.”

Nowhere to turn.

“It’s not why,” Oakley argues. “Liam knew he had people who loved and cared about him. People he could go to.”

He’s wrong. Besides, Oakley didn’t become friends with Jace and Cole until after Liam passed—therefore, he has no right to make any kind of assessment about my brother because he didn’t fucking know him.

Irritation catches the back of my throat and I find myself glaring. “What the fuck makes you think you know anything about why my brother took his life?”

The look he shoots me is like a visceral punch. “My last memory of my mom was her riding some drug dealer for a bag of heroin before she drained my dad’s bank account and took off.” His expression falls. “I used to spend hours every day sitting by the door, wondering what I did wrong and why I wasn’t good enough to make her stay, yet still hoping like hell she’d come back to me…but she never did.” Sorrow floods his face. “She never will.”

And just like that, my heart stops cold.

“It’s her loss, Oakley. You know that, right?”

The selfish woman who walked out on her little boy missed watching him grow up to become an incredible man.

“Maybe.” The intensity of his gaze sears my soul. “Point is, I’ve been where Liam was, desperately searching for something to make it hurt a little less—and even though I know I can always turn to my dad, along with Jace, Cole, and Dylan…I don’t. Because someone else’s love will never be enough to get rid of your pain when you can’t manage to love yourself.” The tip of his thumb brushes the edge of my lip. “Liam didn’t die because of anything you did, baby girl. He’s gone because he couldn’t see past all the torment he held inside.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead. “But he wouldn’t want the people he loved—especially his baby sister—spending the rest of her life blaming herself for something that wasn’t her fault.”

With that, he gets off the bed.

As much clarity as Oakley’s given me just now, it also fills me with a deep sense of sadness.

Because, he too, is one of the broken people.

Just like Liam…

Just like me.

“So how do you cope?” I ask as I watch him put on his clothes. “If you won’t turn to your dad or your friends, how do you—”

“Drugs.” My heart caves in as he grabs his keys and ambles toward the door. “Addicts are people who are trying to numb the pain, too. Only difference is, they aren’t dead…yet.”

Chapter 28

Bianca

“Can I ask you a really messed up question?” I whisper into the darkness.

Oakley and I are currently lying side by side on the small rug in my dorm because I felt like inviting him to lay on my bed when I have a fiancé would be wrong.

We’ve been talking so long I don’t even know what time it is.

Not that I care.

Time feels like it stands still whenever I’m with him.

He shifts on the carpet so we’re face to face. “Sure.”

I chew my bottom lip nervously. “Promise you won’t get mad?”

“I won’t get mad,” he assures me.

“Your mom ran off with a drug dealer, right?”

I immediately regret bringing it up when I see pain slash across his face.

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, she did.”

“I guess I’m just wondering why…” My voice trails off because I don’t have the courage to finish that sentence.

“I became one?” Oakley finishes for me.

I nod.

He rolls over so he’s on his back and stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t know.” His throat bobs on a swallow. “I didn’t really think about her when I started working for Loki, but maybe subconsciously I was hoping she’d find me or some shit.” He snorts. “Christ. I’m a fucking idiot.”

“No.” Absentmindedly, I run my fingernails up and down his forearm. “You’re a lot of things, Oakley, but an idiot isn’t one of them.”

He angles his head so he’s looking at me. “My shitty life choices beg to differ, baby girl.”

“Then it’s a good thing it’s not too late for you to make some better life choices, huh?”

He sighs. “Trust me, I’m trying. It just seems like no matter which way I turn I keep hitting walls.”

Before I can stop myself, I reach for his hand. “Then we’ll break them down together.”

A frown pulls at his lips. “I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Why you’d want someone like me in your life. You know what I did, what I’m responsible for. I almost killed you and yet you keep treating me like I’m—”

“Worthy of forgiveness?” I interject. “That’s because you are.”

And even though it’s the truth, I know it’s more than that.

So much more.

Not only did I trust him enough to divulge some of my darkest secrets, Oakley has a way of making me feel…free.

Like I can be myself around him—whatever that is—and he won’t ever judge me.

“Or maybe it’s because I feel something with you that I don’t feel with anyone else. Something good and raw and pure…and every time I have another flashback it just confirms you’re not the heartless asshole everyone seems to think you are.”

And whether anyone likes it or not, I know he belongs in my life.

I feel it in my marrow.

He shakes his head. “I don’t even know what the fuck to say to that.”

“Don’t say anything.” Ignoring the strange hurt in my chest, I squeeze his hand. “Just don’t leave me.”