He grabbed my journal and flipped it over in his hand. “I wondered what in the world you were writing in here all of the time, but I didn’t want to be nosy and ask.”

I laughed softly and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Well, now you know. And if you want, you can follow my amaze-balls blog too,” I teased.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me firmly on the lips. “Please understand if I don’t want to read about you swooning over fictional characters, but I am happy that you found something that makes you happy. You need a release, and I know that it’s hard here since you haven’t made any friends yet. That will all change once school starts.”

I nodded and swallowed hard. He was right. As happy as I was with him in our new place, I was pretty lonely. I texted and Skyped with Andi and Mina pretty much every day. I stayed current on the Andi/ Max relationship, which was moving slower than molasses. I just wanted to thump that boy on the head sometimes, but I knew that he had to be okay with moving on in his head… if he forced it before he was ready, it wouldn’t have a chance of lasting. I also texted with Mase a couple of times a week, but he was so busy that I knew it was hard for him to find time. He and Jobu’s Rum had signed with some big label and they were in the studio like non-stop recording their first album before they went on tour. He was supposed to send me the tour dates and cities as soon as he found out in hopes that we’d be able to see one of his shows close to us. I was really happy for him and the success that was headed his way. He had been clean for over six months and his entire attitude had changed. I was extremely proud of his transition, and at times I really missed his contagious smile.

Almost as if he knew I had been thinking about him, later that night I got a text that gave me something else to look forward to.

MASE: July 31st opening show at Hard Rock Las Vegas. I’d love if y’all could make it.

I had never been to Vegas before, and I really wanted to see his very first show on the tour… now I just had to convince Ash to go.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Seabreeze ~ Tyrone Wells

I Can’t Stop ~ Flux Pavilion

ASH

“Ash, wake up! It’s time for breakfast,” Scarlett’s voice carried into our bedroom from the kitchen.

“I’ll be there in just a minute!” I called back, savoring every last minute I had in bed. It was my first day of work at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, and even though I was extremely excited about beginning the next phase of my life, I was also sad that I wouldn’t be spending the days with Scarlett any longer. The past six weeks we had spent together had been nothing short of amazing. Sightseeing, days at the beach, trying new restaurants… all of it had been incredible, but the time for fun had to come to an end and it was time to be a grown up.

I slowly climbed out of bed and made my way into the kitchen where I found her pouring a glass of milk. She skipped over to greet me, kissing me on the cheek. “Morning, sunshine. Your breakfast and coffee are ready. Did you sleep well?” I grumbled a “mornin” and sat down at the breakfast bar where she had our plates waiting.

She laughed softly as she sat down next to me. “I thought you’d be excited about today. Haven’t you been looking forward to this?” She picked up a piece of bacon from my plate and brought it to my mouth. I parted my lips, allowing her to feed me, and grunted at her question. She frowned and took a bite herself.

“I’ve just had such a good time hanging out with you, I’m going to miss you during the days. I don’t want to leave you here by yourself,” I whined.

“Awww… that’s so sweet of you. I’ve had a great summer too… all of our day trips, hanging out with your sister and Will, all of it, but I don’t want you to not enjoy your first day cause you’re worried about me being lonely. I’m gonna do my usual ~ read, blog, play some music… I’ll keep myself busy, love.”

“I know, it’s just a little bittersweet, ya know,” I said as I devoured the plate of food in front of me.

She nodded. “Yeah, I understand, but I want you to go lose yourself in all those particles and gamma rays and whatever the hell else you’ll be working with.”

I got up to put my dishes in the sink, kissing the top of her head on the way by. “I’ll be good, butterfly. I’m gonna shower and get ready now.”

Thirty minutes later I was headed down the highway on my way in to my first day on the job. As soon as I parked and checked in through security, I was greeted by a guy named Louis who was my trainer. The first thing he did was walk me around the massive institute, pointing out things and places that I would need to know. We then made the way to the office that he and I shared, where he jumped right in showing me the project he was working on. Enthralled by the complexity of the work and the overall massiveness of the facility, I got right to work with him. Louis turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and I was thankful that I was paired with someone so easy to get along with. Before I knew it, lunchtime was upon us, and what seemed not long after that, it was time to go home.

Scarlett had dinner nearly ready when I got home that evening. As soon as I came through the door, I picked her up and kissed her hard. “Hi, butterfly, how was your day? It smells delicious in here, by the way.”

She mumbled against my lips, “My day was good. I did everything I told you I was gonna do, plus cooked you dinner.” Tapping the end of my nose with her finger, she continued, “But don’t get used to this. I’m not turning into Martha Stewart… I just wanted to celebrate your first day… which I’m dying to hear about.”

I sat her back down on the ground. “Okay, just let me change into comfy clothes real quick and then I’ll tell you all about it.”

We spend the next hour enjoying her homemade lasagna and just talking about our days. Then she dropped the question on me. “I need to talk to you about something,” she began nervously. “As I’ve told you, Jobu’s Rum is going on tour later this year, and well… Mase texted me that their first show is gonna be in Vegas on July thirty first, and he wants us to come.”

I snorted. “I’m sure he wants us to come.”

She sighed at my response. “Well that’s what his text said. I thought it would be nice to support him at his first big show, plus I’d like to see Vegas.”

I wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but I could definitely do with a Vegas trip, I asked, “What day of the week is it on?”

“Thursday.”

“Scarlett, there’s no way that I can take off work for that. I just started today, there’s I can’t ask off already… especially with us having a deadline coming up,” I explained.

Groaning, she sat back in her chair, looking at me with her sad puppy dog eyes, but saying nothing. I hated seeing her disappointed and sad, but I knew it was literally impossible for me to take any time. Then I did the unthinkable ~ I asked her if she wanted to go by herself. Holy shit! I needed my brain checked. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back.

“Are you serious right now?” Her face lit up like a Christmas tree, looking at me in disbelief.

“Well I’m not sure how much fun Vegas will be since you aren’t twenty one, but if you want to go to the show, there’s no reason you can’t fly down there that day and come home the next. I trust you and I know that it’s important to you.”

She flew out of her chair and into my lap, hugging and kissing me. “Oh, thank you! Thank you!”

I held her tight and kissed her back, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three weeks came and went in what seemed like three days. I was living the life I had always dreamed of. The work I was doing was just bad ass, there was no other way of putting it. I knew that I had made the right decision in not only my career field but the place I had chosen to work at. I was closer with my sister than I had been in years, and even though I didn’t live close to my mom anymore, we talked frequently and I knew that she was finally happy with her life. And then there was Scarlett… my butterfly… my Psyche. She wasn’t perfect, but she was perfect for me, and that’s all I needed. I was overjoyed that she had taken to the move so well. She had really delved into her new blog and her music, and watching her blissfully float around the apartment, made me feel like a king.

The day that she left for Vegas, I was a bit nervous about her traveling alone, but I reminded myself that she was plenty capable of getting where to she needed to go. I never thought I’d think it, but I felt comfortable knowing that she’d be with Mason when she was there. Crazy, I know, but I was confident that he would keep her safe and not allow anything to happen. I couldn’t live the rest of my life scared something was going to happen between them. I knew that they were special to each other, and would always have a love and respect for one another, but for whatever reason, she had chosen to be with me.

I dropped her off at the airport on my way to work that morning, kissing her long and hard on her full lips. “Remember… have fun. Don’t get arrested or married while you’re there,” I joked.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at me. “I’ll try not to.”

Embracing her one last time, I whispered in her ear, “I love you, butterfly… ‘your curves and all your edges, and all your perfect imperfections.’ I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“I love you, too, Ash. ‘You’re my end and my beginning; even when I lose, I’m winning,’” she whispered back. Then she grabbed her bag and headed for the security check point. Right before turning the corner where I couldn’t see her anymore, she looked back at me and blew me a kiss and made hand hearts. Damn, she was beautiful. I stood there for several minutes with a goofy ass grin on my face. I wasn’t expecting her to sing the next lyrics of the song to me, but it filled me with an indescribable feeling of warmth and love.

That afternoon at work, Louis and I actually hit a part in the project where we couldn’t move any further until we received info from a different team, and surprisingly, we were excused early. When I got to the apartment, the quiet and emptiness of it began to eat at me almost immediately, so I decided to change clothes and throw my board in the car for a late afternoon session. There was nothing else in the world that I had experienced that could compare to the feeling of surfing. Being out in the middle of the expansive ocean, the smell of the seabreeze, the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore, the exhilarating feeling of riding an incredible force of nature… it was my heaven on earth.

Paddling out into the endless blue waters, the endorphins began to pump through my body, inspired and exhilarated. I made it out to the first break with relative ease, and sat up on my board waiting for the next set to come in. There weren’t very many people out that afternoon which was a welcome sight. I hated competing with a bunch of people for a wave. As I saw the swell begin to form behind me, I laid down on my belly and begin to paddle into the first wave. I hopped up on the board, just as I had done a thousand times, but somehow the leash wrapped around my ankle awkwardly and snapped. I never caught my balance and purged forward off the front of the board. I tried to surface, but for some reason I kept getting pulled under. Spinning underneath the water in an undertow, I lost my sense of direction and couldn’t tell which way was up and which way was down. I tried telling myself not to panic, but my body instinctively fought the current. Finally, I just let go, relaxing my body and thinking about Scarlett’s beautiful face that I would see the next day.