“I just don’t understand why you don’t want me.” Big tears spill out and roll down her face.

Dammit. I sit back down next to her, feeling unsure. I never know how to deal with emotion. I’m not detached from it, just clueless. Growing up, I learned to keep my feelings at a distance from people as much as I could, knowing that whatever I felt, it wouldn’t be returned. I clasp my hands as we sit there in silence.

“Dani…I’m really sorry.”

She wipes her face, straightens, and looks at me, the dark makeup around her eyes a mess. “I can’t believe this is all over some nerd girl Chi-O—who crashed our party with her friends.”

“Leave Charisma out of this. Don’t even go there.” My tone is clipped.

A few tense moments pass until finally she takes a big breath and stands. Her fists clench as she glares at me. “You know what…she doesn’t want you or you’d be with her.”

She does want me. I think.

But I don’t need anyone.

I stand up from the couch. This convo is done. “Don’t text me anymore, Dani.”

“You’ll miss me, Blaze, you will. You liked having me around, and I don’t give up that easy,” she says slyly, but I don’t reply.

Without looking at her, I walk out and head to the kitchen. Dillon is there splayed out like a rock star at the bar, a girl on either side. Pushing Charisma and Dani out of my head, I listen to him retelling that big play he was in.

“You better stop lying to those girls,” I say with a grin as I approach. “We all know who the star of that game was—me.”

He hoots and slaps me on the back. “Just the man I was talking about. Ladies, I’d like you to meet Blaze Townsend.” He waggles his eyes toward the two girls. “These lovelies are from the Furry Kitty Kat down the road, townies stopping in for a little college action.”

He elbows me as one of them giggles and rushes over to me. She’s got long brown hair and a shit ton of makeup on.

“I’m Lola,” she says, batting those lashes up at me.

“Nice.”

Her hand rubs my shoulder. “Wanna go downstairs and dance?”

Uh, no.

“Nice to meet you. Excuse me, I need a drink.” I subtly set her aside and take a few steps away to grab a glass of water from Theo. I rake my eyes over him, remembering the appreciative looks he gave Charisma. He hands me my water.

I gaze at him over the rim of my glass. “Hey, remember that girl from your graphic design class tonight? The one who talked you into drinks earlier? She had two girls with her.”

His face gets tight. “Yeah. Nice tits. Played me right into her hands.”

My nose flares as my temper rises. Easy, Blaze.

“If you recognize her in class, don’t give her any shit about it.”

He blinks and looks surprised. “She your girl?”

Is she my girl? No. We’re just…friends who can’t stop torturing each other.

“She’s a nice girl, and I don’t want you giving her a hard time—got it?” I lean in a little over the bar so the dude can read the intensity on my face, catch the glint in my eye.

He holds his hands up. “Right on, man. You got it. She’s kinda scary anyway. I wasn’t planning on it.”

I turn back and face Dillon and company. How soon can I tell him I’m ready to go? I eyeball the door and consider walking home. It’s not that far. Damn. He’s going to suggest I start seeing a shrink if I don’t pick up a girl and act normal soon.

Ryker appears at my side, eyes on me. “Hey, asshole. Haven’t see you in a while.”

Yeah. We’ve been missing each other at the gym.

I exhale and nod, glad at least that our little spat seems to have blown over.

I lift my water. “Sorry for before with Cedrick. I should have texted you and apologized. I wasn’t thinking and—”

He shakes his head. “No need. I shouldn’t have sprung him on you like that without a heads-up. We could have had a plan. My fault. Next time we’ll be ready for him.”

I nod at his optimism. “Next time.” Odds are, no scout is going to pop back into the field house, but I’m happy for him. He deserves being the number one pick. “I’m proud of you, man. You’re gonna take over the world.”

“Whatever.” He grins sheepishly and looks around the room, taking in the crowd. “Have you seen Penelope? She said they were coming here but she’s not answering her texts. Thought I’d surprise her.”

“Margo got tossed.” I tap my leg. “Pretty sure Penelope and Charisma left.”

“Ah.” His gaze goes to Dillon and the girls hanging on him. He’s got his head buried in one girl’s chest, and the other one is playing with his shaved head. Ryker looks back at me. “You gonna get a piece of that or let him hog it all? He’s an animal.”

I shake my head. I’ve already had the girl I wanted tonight.

I just wish she’d let down her guard; I wish I’d let mine down.

I wish we…

Yeah, but wishes are really just fairy tales with happy endings.

Guys like me, we don’t get those.

15

The following Monday after my morning classes, I’m late for lunch, as usual. My head is down and I’m rushing to the student center when my phone rings. Ma. It’s close to noon, and I picture her as she sits at our worn kitchen table. She’s probably just wrapped up a Pilates class, and I bet she’s showered and wearing something classy, slacks and a soft-looking blouse with flowers on it. A pretty lady, she’ll have her brown hair up in a neat and tidy style, little diamond earrings in, and her makeup will be on point. She tries hard, I think, to keep Pop’s attention. Pregnant at seventeen, she and my dad had to get married, and part of me wonders if that’s part of why he—

Nope. Don’t want to think about him cheating.

“Hi, Ma.”

She sighs. “How is my little girl down in the bottom of our country? Are you staying safe?”

I smile. “I’m fine, and it’s not really the bottom part of the country. I’m just a couple of hours from Memphis, Ma.”

“Be a good girl. Remember those Southern boys are trying to trap you. Don’t fall for a hillbilly.”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t see any hillbillies, just college students. Besides, hillbillies live in the mountains, Ma. This is the Delta and it’s flat as a pancake.”

“You want to be a virgin on your wedding night, Charm. Keep those legs closed. God loves purity.”

I groan. “Ma, stop. God loves bad people too.”

She doesn’t even hear me. This is her weekly call, and she’s just going down a list. “Are they starving you? When you come home, I’ll cook you a nice ziti. Your dad and Paulie are so busy with the business. Everyone needs a plumber. This city is falling apart without them. Can you imagine if all the toilets stopped working? What a mess.”

I sigh internally.

“Are you going to Mass?” she continues. “I hear good things from Father Lewis about the priest in Magnolia. He spent some time in Brazil helping the poor. You need to listen to him. You need to remember you’re a good Catholic girl.”

I laugh. “I haven’t been to Mass. Is there anything you needed, or did you just call to harass me about eating and church?”

“I just wanted to hear your sweet voice. Come home soon. You have the frequent flyer points in your account.”

And we have hit the guilt trifecta: food, church, and coming home.

“Spring break, Ma, soon. Listen, people are waiting for me. Give my love to Pop and the boys. I love you!”

Breanne, our Chi-O treasurer, is already sitting down as I get to the pizza place inside the student center. I don’t know her well, but she’s different and I can get behind that. She waves at me, and my eyes widen when I take in her paint-splattered overalls. She isn’t wearing anything under them and they gape a little on the side, revealing a high percentage of side boob.

“Hey, you,” she says with her slow flower-child drawl. She always appears high, but it’s just her personality. She pats a seat next to her. “I saved you a place that catches the light coming through the window. You can use the sun’s rays to warm up and fill you with the rich energy you need to get centered.”

Maybe she really does think she’s a flower. “Do I need to be centered? Is my aura off?”

She cocks her head and studies me. “Your aura is diluted. Love troubles?”

Yes. I frown. “No.”

She shrugs. “Well, you’ve been so down lately. I don’t like it.”

Neither do I. “I’m fine.”

Margo appears, her usually sleek blonde hair in disarray, a harried expression on her face. She looks a lot like she did the night Penelope and I found her in her dorm room after being kicked out of the Theta house. We showed up to make sure she was okay, and good thing since she was throwing pillows against the wall and vowing to break back in. Apparently there was hair-pulling and obscenities shouted when they escorted her out of their house and off the premises.

I hide the grin that wants to fill my face just thinking about it.