Dillon’s talking a mile a minute about the drinking we did last night. It wasn’t much on my end, but he was lit, a girl on either side of him back in the dorm after we left Cadillac’s. I came out at one point to grab some Gatorade and saw three naked bodies on the couch. I laughed and kept on going. I just hope he’s using condoms.

“You’re not listening to my play-by-play,” he grunts as we take the stairs. “You slipped off to bed and missed all the good stuff. Pussy.”

“Oh, I saw your white ass. Ever consider waxing?”

I throw him a look, laugh, and pick up my pace.

He nods. “Yeah, she’s going to be in there and you can’t wait to see her.” There’s a glint in his eyes that gives me pause.

“What?”

“Dude—how long are you going to wait? If you want her that bad, tell her. Go steady, or whatever people call it.”

I look away.

He shakes his head. “You two are driving me bonkers in there. I’m tired of sitting next to you always eye-fucking her. Do something. I’m tired of you moping around.”

“Fuck off.”

He laughs.

We enter, and she’s already in her seat, head bent down.

I tune out the girl who comes up to me, brushing past her to get to the front row.

I get hot all over as I approach. Her long silky hair is straight today and hangs in a curtain around the sides of her face, the pink back and mingled with her darker strands. She’s got red eyeglasses on, something she doesn’t do often, and I wonder if she’s tired.

My eyes move down, pulled by her sheer white shirt, the hint of a red lace bra underneath it.

My shoulders straighten. City girl brought her A game, and if her intention is to make me squirm…

I plop down in my seat, my hands getting out my notebook for class.

I clear my throat. “Hey.”

“Hey. Congrats on the Combine.” She gives me a hesitant smile. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. Big deal. I’m stoked. You never texted me back.”

She waves that off. “You’re gonna make it, Blaze. I always knew it.” She looks back at her desk. “I’ll be cheering you on when draft time comes. I’ll watch on TV.”

“Thank you,” I say. Her words tug at me, loosening the tight feeling in my chest.

We’re quiet again, the awkwardness building.

“Lovely day for the end of January,” I say after a few minutes, just wanting to talk to her and not really knowing what to say. “Welcome to the South where the weather is mercurial, right?”

She nods.

“Did you know it’s snowing in Memphis? I’d give anything to see snow. Maybe that’s why I love Christmas movies so much. Have you seen Elf?” Shit, I know I’m rambling, but I can’t stop.

She flicks her eyes at me, her gaze withdrawn, and I want that distance gone.

I tap my pen. “Back to Elf: Buddy is this over-the-top adult-sized elf who wants to find his dad, but his dad is too wrapped up in his job—until Buddy shows him the real meaning of family. Kickass movie. Gives me warm fuzzies. And Zooey Deschanel as the love interest? Hot. You look like her, by the way, all that long hair and the way you laugh. You snort a lot. It’s cute. I’m sure you know.”

She sighs.

Come on, give my shit back to me, Charm.

I rack my brain. “I want a pet now that I’ve met Vampire Bill. I’m thinking a soft furry cat. Kittens are a pain in the ass when they’re tiny, though, like little babies. I want babies someday, but not now. Maybe a dog? A big German Shepherd, one who’ll follow me around and sleep at the foot of my bed. We never had any real pets growing up except for mice in the barn. Maybe I can babysit Vampire Bill when you guys are out of town, you know, to get some practice in.”

I tap my pen on my desk harder, faster. Do something, Dillon said.

But I don’t know how. I’m not fucking emotionally equipped to do this.

“Speaking of barns…sometimes I think about that toga party. You know, the one I mentioned before?” I arch my brows at her. It’s pointless since she isn’t looking. “You won’t admit it was you, but it was. That night, damn, we kissed and made out for hours. Your tongue in my mouth, mine in yours…”

Thank God, Cartwright hasn’t come out yet.

“I can only imagine how you must have felt when my spin of the bottle landed on you. Did you even think twice? Of course you knew who I was. Everyone did. I was the baller from Alma. Future star wide receiver. I remember looking across at you, and you had this come hither look on your face. I can handle you, hotshot, it said.”

I chuckle, but there’s no mirth there. This is like talking to a wall.

“You were…trashed. You had your hair braided in those plaits and a skirt on…damn.” My hands clench at the memory. “If you’d had your rules then—I don’t really know if you did since you didn’t follow them that night—you might never have kissed me up in that loft. But you did. Wholeheartedly. With your soul, you worshiped my mouth. You couldn’t get enough.” I pause, going for gold. “I looked for you around campus later—never told you that. Didn’t know your name, and all I had to go on was a dark-haired girl with a pouty mouth. I saw you once or twice as school went on, but you…you didn’t seem to recognize me.” I make a clicking noise with my tongue, tsking. “You ran away to those quiet guys…and I let you. Guess I keep doing that.”

Her lashes flutter against her cheeks, her lips parting.

In for a penny…

“I knew damn well who you were from the get-go last fall, the girl who kissed me like I was air she had to breathe. Did you come from all that dry-humping in the loft? I did. I was too shy then to ask if you did. Sorry about that. Do you still think about that night? Because, babe, it was you.”

Her chest swells as she turns to me, the golden glints in her eyes flashing. Lightning in a bottle. I want that. Jesus, I want to hold it in my hands, tame it, and write it on my heart.

She opens her mouth to speak and—

DING! Dr. Cartwright has entered the lecture hall.

It was you that night and I’ve never forgotten it, I write furiously, my hand flying across the page. I show her.

I glance over to see what she’s written. She isn’t trying to hide it.

Fine. It was me. What do you want from me?

What do I want? WHAT DO I WANT? I close my eyes. I want her. So damn bad.

And I can’t stop it.

Cartwright starts his lesson, but I don’t care; I’m wired, my legs jittery and bouncing, and I know I’m probably going to write some shit I’ll regret, but I do it anyway.

I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m sorry I left yesterday.

She looks up at the board again, her eyes wide.

She bends down and writes.

It doesn’t matter. You know what I did when you walked into class? I counted the girls who called out your name when you came in the door. FIVE. Go toy with them.

I sit back and stew. Fine, fine. I bend over my paper and lay it out.

Don’t want them. I think months of celibacy might have been a big fucking clue. Last night meant something and I want to see what it is, but if you don’t want me, just tell me. Tell me right now. Write it out nice and neat in that smart-girl handwriting you have, and I’ll tape it to my mirror so I can see it every day when I get up.

My hands tremble as I show her the words, my chest tight. This is me, putting myself out there, the best I can. I don’t know how to go any further.

She looks at Dr. Cartwright.

I pick up my pen again and think about us in her bed, the way she felt like home…the way I know I was looking at her, everything there in my eyes. Doesn’t she know…

I’m just a guy who doesn’t know how to do this. I want you. I wanted you freshman year. I wanted you last fall. I want you now, Charm. Let’s see what this is.

I feel lightheaded. I’m insane, and I’m saying too much, I’m showing my cards and she’s— She gathers her book and backpack.

“What are you doing?” I mutter as she stands up.

“Leaving. I have somewhere else to be today.”

Where?

Dr. Cartwright has stopped lecturing, and several people turn to look at us.

She gives me a final look, dips her head, and leaves the room.

“Charm!” I call out, but she’s already shutting the door.

Everyone looks at me, and Dr. Cartwright arches his brow with a what the fuck did you do look on his face.

I sit there stunned for five seconds then jump up and follow her, leaving my stuff behind.

I see her headed down the steps of the building and take off.

“Wait!”

She doesn’t, but I catch up to her. I grab her arm and pull her to a stop. I study her face, taking in the pucker between her brows. “What’s going on? Did I go too far?”

She looks up at me. “Everything isn’t about you, Blaze.”

“I know. Tell me what’s going on.”

“After you left, I had a voice mail for an interview in Nashville for an internship. I need a job, even if it isn’t the one I want. I’m driving up today, and they’re going to take me to dinner tonight. I came to class to…” She bites her lip. “I came to see you. I don’t know why, but there it is. I’m staying the night and driving back early tomorrow. Missing classes, but mine are easy enough.”

“Oh. I’m glad you got an interview.” I think about going with her, but the awards dinner is tonight, and I have papers I still haven’t signed for the Combine. I go for it anyway. “Let me come. I can hang out in the hotel while you go to dinner. We can talk—”