My thumbs wipe at her cheeks. “I’m sorry you went through that. If I had known—”

She puts a hand to my lips. “No, don’t apologize for him or for you not knowing. I haven’t even told Taylor and Poppy. I’m still figuring out what to do.”

“I’m here.” I lace our hands together and we stare at each other. It’s so quiet in the arena and I feel close to her, so close because she’s sharing this with me.

She shakes her head and looks away as if gathering her thoughts, but I read her face, taking in the downturned lips, the way her chin trembles.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

A long exhalation comes from her. “Sometimes I get so angry with my mama. I adored her, I did, but why…why did she stick with him? Why did she let him make us move?” She closes her eyes. “The worst thing is, he never ever once treated me right, like I was part of him, and she just…” A tear falls down her cheek. “By loving him, she lost me. And I hate it. I hate how I never really felt like I belonged.”

My heart wants to come out of my chest.

She shakes her head. “She loved him too much. And Bennett, what you saw today…I did love him, but…”

My hands tighten.

An angry look grows on her face. “He’s a cheater and a liar, and that’s enough for me to say goodbye. I don’t want to make the same mistakes she did. Please…” She looks at me with earnest blue eyes. “Please don’t be like Bennett.”

“I won’t.”

She nods and leans her head into my neck, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight.

Later, I kiss her softly, and she sighs into my mouth. Our lips cling, and in my head I’m telling myself she’s it, and I won’t let this tentative thing between us be over. I won’t be like Bennett.

I’ve never been a cheater, but…

But…

We’ve had a lie between us from the very beginning.

And somehow I’m going to have to tell her everything.

29

Zack

The hockey games keep coming, and somehow I’m managing to keep my shit together. I had some close calls when we faced off with a tough Yale team on the road, but in the end the ornery athlete in me that loves a challenge somehow got me through. At one point, when we were down by one goal with two minutes left and the puck was under my stick, I got dizzy and clammy and that dread rolled through me. I had to score. I had to keep the winning streak going. You deserve hockey. You deserve happiness. You deserve this, I told myself, and it kept me centered. It pulled me through, and I slung the puck into the net.

And Sugar…

Since the day she told me about her dad, we’ve grown closer and we’re spending time together. During the week, we meet up for late lunches after my therapy, and we’ve skipped the Kappa parties to hang out at her place or go donut shop hopping.

It’s a few days after our last win when we order in pizza and watch Game of Thrones at Sugar’s. She’s constantly clapping her hand over her mouth to keep from telling me everyone’s backstory.

“Khal Drogo kind of reminds me of you with his big muscles and I’m all that attitude,” she muses as she munches on a piece of pizza. “I think for Halloween, you should dress up as him.”

I grin. “As long as you’re Dany. They have some pretty hot sex scenes.”

She arches an eyebrow. “I know.”

“Just let me know when you’re ready to resume sex.”

Yeah, she’s making sure sex isn’t all we have. I know it isn’t, but if she needs to know…

“But don’t you want to know if there’s more to life than just sex?”

“No.” I set down my plate of pizza on her desk and grin. “Plus, it’s possible I might die from blue balls.”

“You’ll die from me hitting you upside the head.”

“It was worth a shot.” I kiss her on the lips, quickly, because I know if I linger, I’m going to be jerking off in her bathroom later just so I can drive home.

Someone knocks on the door, and she jumps up to get it wearing a pair of booty shorts and a camisole. Her ass is firm and full, and the way her tits press against that shirt…

Of course her radiator is spitting out heat like crazy and that’s her excuse for being skimpy, but I’m wondering…

I hear her exclaim loudly then a female voice speaks, and I hop up from her bed and walk to the door.

I grin.

It took several phone calls to multiple places today to make this happen, and along with some help from my dad, I was able to find what I needed.

The girl who works the lobby is standing at the door. “I don’t know the guys you date, but if you could hook me up with one of their friends, that would be super cool.”

Sugar takes the donut box and the stuffed penguin from the girl then turns to face me.

The girl sees me, her gaze widening. “Zack Morgan?”

“Yep.” My mask slides into place and I prepare myself for fluttering eyes or a plea for an autograph, but she holds it together, her stare going from me to a blushing Sugar.

“What?” I say.

She squirms. “It’s not visiting hours. You’re not supposed to be in her room.”

“Oh.” I pause. “Any chance you can just forget you saw me here?”

She twists her lips as if thinking about it, and her eyes go back to Sugar, who’s currently standing between us, holding the gift I arranged for her.

Sugar lifts up her box of goodies. “Donut?”

The front desk girl shrugs. “Meh. Why not?” Then she hits us with a stern look as she takes one out of the box. “Just don’t keep the neighbors up and get me in trouble.” She gestures to the door across the hall.

“Rodeo girl?” Sugar says.

She nods. “Big complainer. Be safe, kids.” She gives us a final look and waltzes down the hall, humming as she chews on her sweet treat.

I move to stand next to Sugar as she unwraps the bow tied around the penguin.

“My, my, my, donuts and a stuffed animal.”

“I hope you like him.”

She takes the card attached to the little penguin’s neck and reads it aloud. “I used to live in Antarctica until Z found me. He says you hate flowers and he promises to never send them. Please keep me next to you every night.” A slow blush works up her face as she turns to look at me. “He’s adorable.”

I take her hand and we’re back on her side of the room. “I’ve never given a girl food or a stuffed penguin. I win.”

“How did you find him?”

I laugh. “I got online and found him at this specialty toy store in the city. I ran down there between classes and my dad paid your favorite donut guy a little extra to bring him with the sweets. Those are the Ding Dong donuts from your shop, right?”

She grins, nods, and falls back on the bed, holding the stuffed animal to her chest. Her hair is everywhere, splayed out over her creamy shoulders, and I kiss her.

Emotions cross over her face as we pull back and stare at each other. I read her features as they shift from uncertainty to concern until finally I can’t define her at all. I’m trying to figure her out, but she’s up and down, like me, afraid one moment then all in the next.

“Thank you,” she murmurs.

“You know, penguins are pretty special.”

“Really?” She’s soft against me, and I snuggle in closer, throwing my leg over her.

“Yeah. The emperor penguin, which is what yours is, mates for life, and when the female goes out to get food, the male stays behind and keeps the eggs warm. She might be gone for two months, but he won’t eat or move until she comes back to him.”

Her face softens. “That’s romantic.”

I smile. “I know. Penguin love—it’s pretty cool, right?”

“Hmmm.”

“They live in large groups too, so it’s easy to get separated, but the paired male and female always find each other, like a sixth sense for their mate.” I study her. I know this story is…stupid, but this is my way of telling her…shit, I don’t know.

She laces our hands together. “I get tingles when you walk in a room.”

“Me too.” I kiss her again. Softly. Easy. I want her so bad.

By the time eleven rolls around, she’s asleep in my arms, and the credits are rolling on yet another episode. Frankly, it’s been one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.

My arms tighten around her, and I lean down and whisper in her ear. “Just wrapped up the last episode in season one. Those dragons are kickass.”

She murmurs my name, still half asleep, and I grin, leaning down to kiss her. I can’t stop myself. She responds, her arms curling around my neck, her mouth pressing harder into mine.

“You need to go,” she murmurs after a few minutes of our lips clinging to each other.

My head rests against hers. “My cock is hard, like Super Dick. It would be a shame to waste all that potential for the orgasm of your dreams.”

“Super Dick? Stop.” She pokes me in the ribs, and I pop out a laugh then roll off her.

“Hey, that’s not fair. I’m ticklish.”

“Now I know your secrets,” she says, poking me again until I’m scrambling across the bed to get away from her.

“Help!” I’m gasping, and she’s laughing and straddling me, and fuck I can smell her skin. I bite back a moan and freeze, cupping her face.