“Princess, go ahead and take a shower, you kinda smell. I’ll rock the baby for a while.”

Hesitating, she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay alone with her?” He is better at this than I am. I should make a break for it before he changes his mind.

“We’ll be fine. Don’t take too long, though.” Needing no further encouragement, she rummaged through Claire’s drawers until she found a pair of jogging shorts and a matching top. She made quick work of the shower even though she was tempted to hide out in the bathroom for a while longer.

When she walked back into the baby’s room, Nick was lying on the floor and Chrissy was sprawled on his chest. Oh, dear God, he is doing baby talk to her. She stood in the doorway watching her big and oh-so-sexy man say, “She’s a good wittle girl, yesss, she is” and “Wonder what Wikipedia has to say about the word wittle?”

Nick finally noticed Beth standing at the door and, instead of being embarrassed, he beckoned her to join them. Beth sat on the floor and laughed as he flew Chrissy like an airplane.

“Are you sure you’ve never been around a baby? Because you’re a natural.”

“Nope, but it’s not so hard, right?” They both sniffed at the same time. “Hey, babe, do you smell something?” He was giving her a suspicious look.

“Hey! Don’t look at me,” she said indignantly.

“Well, it’s not me.” They turned their eyes to Chrissy in horror. “Oh, please, no,” Nick whispered. “Check her, princess.”

“Why me?” she snapped.

“I don’t know, you’re a woman, you know how to handle this crap. No pun intended.”

“Just take her to the changing table and let’s see what we’re dealing with. It probably smells much worse than it actually is.”

“Well, I hope so because it smells like death,” he said, gagging.

Beth grabbed his arm as he tried to drop and run. “Oh, no, big guy, we’re in this together. Grab a diaper and be ready.”

“Should we put on gloves or something?” he asked.

“I . . . I don’t know, do you see any?” Nick rummaged around, but came up empty-handed. “Just forget it, and let’s get this over with before I’m sick.” She quickly slid Chrissy’s pants off and almost passed out at the sight that greeted her. The diaper looked huge and there was a distinct green outline around the leg openings.

“Damn! Is that normal? Nick gagged again. “What are they feeding the kid?”

“Just shut up and hand me some wipes. I’ll open the diaper and you pull it out from under her on the count of three.”

“Are you out of your mind? I am not pulling that thing. I’ll open it and you pull the sucker.”

She moved out of the way muttering, “Big baby.”

Nick leaned away as far as he could before reaching for the tape on each side of the diaper. “Are you ready?” he asked.

“I guess. Just do it.”

He pulled the tape and opened the diaper. She felt her stomach drop to her feet. “Oh, dear God. I can’t Nick, I’ll be sick if I touch that thing.”

“Princess, if I have to pull the diaper out, then you’re on butt duty.”

“O-okay, I’ll just put a lot of wipes over it. Go ahead and pull.” As Nick removed the diaper and held it out like a bomb, she grabbed a wad of wipes and covered Chrissy’s bottom.

“Beth, what do I do with this?” Nick asked frantically.

“Hey, I’ve got my own problems here.” Nick circled the room looking more and more desperate for somewhere to dispose of the diaper. All of the bedrooms on the bottom level walked out onto the patio. When he walked over and wrenched the door open, she could only gape at him when he tossed the diaper over the railing. “Nick! You can’t do that!”

“What? You told me to figure it out, well I did.”

“But . . . you can’t throw poop on the beach. You probably just broke at least ten laws. You’ve got to go get it.” She turned her focus back to Chrissy’s rump and was glad to see that it was almost clean. The stack of used wipes beside her was starting to resemble a landfill. Nick had washed his hands so she had him come over and hold the baby on the table while she washed up.

It again took a team effort to get Chrissy dressed. Beth picked the baby up off the table and said, “You’ve got to go get the diaper. Take a trash bag and put it inside.”

“I’ll hold the baby and you go pick it up,” Nick pleaded. Then wiggling his eyebrows he added, “If you will, I’ll give you the best sex of your life later.”

Laughing, she said, “Oh, baby, you are so barking up the wrong tree right now. You’ve got nothing to offer me that would make me go pick that up. Be a man and suck it up. How are you going to change our baby’s diaper if you can’t even pick one up?” Ah, yes, insulting the manhood always gets results. Try not to smirk.

Beth was sure she heard some creative profanity as Nick headed off the deck with a large trash bag in his hand. She knew he had located the diaper when she heard him gagging, which continued all the way into the house. Nuzzling Chrissy’s neck she said, “Now that’s how you bring a big, strong man to his knees.”

Nick came back with the bag and dumped it in the kitchen trash. He insisted on taking another shower and changing clothes. After a quick sniff of herself, she handed the baby off to him when he returned and showered again as well. When she came out in another one of Claire’s outfits, both Chrissy and Nick looked sleepy. She fixed a bottle and Nick snuggled the baby against his chest, rocking her gently while she ate. Oh, God, other than the diaper-throwing incident, he is better at this than I am. He doesn’t seem scared at all.

They walked into Chrissy’s room together and tucked her into her crib. Beth left the door cracked so they could hear her if she woke up.

“I’m beat,” she said as she flopped on the couch beside Nick. “How can it be only seven thirty? I feel like we have been here for days. How in the world are we ever going to take care of a baby twenty-four-seven?”

Nick patted her absently. “We’ll get used to it. The first time is the hardest. Plus when it’s your own kid, you know you don’t have a choice.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she said doubtfully. She felt herself starting to nod off and dimly registered Nick slumping beside her.

* * *

Claire stood in front of the couch surveying the scene before her. Jason dropped his arm around her shoulders and she felt him shaking with laughter. “Man, look at that train wreck.” Jason chuckled.

“Jason, stop. They helped us out so we could have a night out. They do look pretty rough though, don’t they?”

“Rough is an understatement. Now I know how bad we must have looked for the first couple of months. No wonder everyone at work kept giving me that pitying expression. I must have looked like hell. Hey, are those my clothes?”

“Yep, and I think Beth has mine on. It looks like Chrissy showed them no mercy.” Claire grabbed her cell phone from her purse and snapped a picture of the sleeping couple.

Jason asked, “What are you doing?”

Looking guilty, she said, “Um, I’m taking a picture to show Suzy. She’s gonna love this. It looks like two homeless people crash-landed on our couch.”

Jason kissed the tip of her nose and said, “Let’s wake them up and get them out of here.”

“Ah, maybe we should just let them sleep here; they look beat.”

“It’s your call, but I believe you promised to show me some of your old stripper moves tonight.”

Claire’s eyes widened and her breathing became heavy at seeing the desire in Jason’s eyes. Suddenly she grabbed Beth’s shoulder and started shaking her. “Time to go home, you two.”

Jason quirked a brow at her. “I thought you wanted to let them rest.”

“Screw that. Hurry up and help me wake them. I’ll give you a bonus if you can get them out the door in less than five minutes.”

Smiling in anticipation, Jason said, “You’re on.”

Chapter Twelve

Beth and Nick fell face-first onto the bed when they got back to the apartment. Neither of them mentioned making love. My God, she was barely pregnant and already their sex life was starting to suffer.

Claire and Jason had smirked at them when they had shaken them awake. When Beth pulled herself from bed to brush her teeth she got a glimpse of the reason. She did not even recognize the woman in the mirror. Her hair was standing up in every possible direction, her clothes were wrinkled and her mascara had smeared, making her look like a raccoon. Ugh, just wash your face, brush your teeth, and try to tackle this in the morning. Nick probably looks like a million bucks.

Nick was still lying in the same place when she crawled back into bed. She nudged him with her elbow, trying to roll him onto his side of the bed. “Hey, babe, move over. I’m hanging off the end over here.” Suddenly, he sprang from the bed looking around the room wildly.

“Where’s the baby? Oh, shit, we lost her!”

“What are you talking about? We don’t have a baby yet.” Suddenly, it hit her that he was still asleep. His eyes were open, but unfocused, and he was obviously upset. Lowering her voice to keep from startling him, she said gently, “Honey, we’re home now. Claire and Jason have Chrissy and she’s asleep in her crib. We didn’t lose her.” He still stood there clasping and unclasping his fists. Great, what do I do now? Pour water over him? He’ll probably punch me if I try to touch him. Let him stand there all night?

Finally, she decided a loud noise might jolt him out of his sleep. Hopefully, it wouldn’t give him a heart attack. She grabbed a book off her bedside table and heaved it at the closet door. The resulting crash sounded like the walls were caving in. Maybe a little too much force behind the throw. Nick jerked and looked around the room in confusion. She was relieved to see that he was really looking at her now and not through her. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked.

“You were dreaming and I was trying to wake you up. Do you normally talk and walk in your sleep?”

Nick looked at her in disbelief. “Um, no, I’m pretty sure I don’t. Are you sure you weren’t asleep yourself?”

“Nope, I was just coming back from the bathroom when you jumped off the bed and started trying to find the baby. I assumed you meant Chrissy.” He still looked skeptical, but she was too tired to try to convince him. “I’m going to bed, why don’t you get cleaned up, too.”

* * *

Nick felt like his head had barely touched the pillow when Beth started moaning beside him. When he reached out to touch her, she jumped from the bed and ran into the bathroom. He winced in sympathy as he heard the now-familiar sound of her being sick. He hurried into the bathroom and lowered himself beside her. He pulled her hair back from her face and rubbed her back.

When she finally seemed to have nothing left, he picked her up and lowered her onto the sink counter where he washed her face and helped her rinse her mouth and brush her teeth. Seeing her like this made him want to cut his dick off. He really hoped that she was not sick like this the whole pregnancy because he didn’t think either of them could survive. She’s the one having to puke her guts out every day; you’re getting off easy. She always allowed him to care for her after she was sick. She never complained as he cleaned her up and carried her to bed. He wrapped his arms around her and settled her against his chest. He kissed her neck and whispered, “I’m so sorry, princess. I’d take your place if I could.”

Tonight had been something out of a horror story at times, but he had loved it. Taking care of Chrissy with Beth had shown him a glimpse of something he never thought he would want: a family. He knew it would be hard, but he also knew that eventually they would hit their stride and, after a while, the small stuff like being peed, pooped, and puked on wouldn’t throw them as much. Tonight they had resembled two circus monkeys, but it would not always be that way.

Now he just needed to keep his cool and show Beth that he could handle anything she threw his way. Calm, cool, and rational. He definitely had this.

Chapter Thirteen

“Whoa, where the hell are you putting that?” Nick demanded. They were at her first doctor’s appointment and Nick spoke up just as the ultrasound technician raised the condom-covered probe toward Beth. You’re blowing it, buddy. What happened to calm, cool and rational? Get it together; they’re staring at you. Nick plastered on his default grin that never failed to charm. “Shouldn’t you at least buy her a drink before you bring that thing out?”

Mindy, the ultrasound technician, chuckled and said, “You might as well get used to it, Dad. You’ll have at least one more of the internal ultrasounds before we are able to switch to the external ones. The baby can only be viewed internally for the first few months. Remember, this is more uncomfortable for Mom than for Dad.”