The phone drops from my hand…and I drop to my knees.

I hated my father for not being able to move after he found Liam in the closet that day.

But now…I think I understand.

It’s not that he didn’t want to…it’s that he couldn’t.

Because the agony and heartbreak were so severe, so penetrating, that even though he was still breathing…

He died too.

Chapter 90

Cole

“Cole,” Dylan and Jace yell from the waiting room.

Evidently, I dropped the phone before Dylan could finish. Sawyer did code in the ambulance on the way here, but they brought her back.

I march over to them. “Where is she?”

I need to see her, touch her, feel her, kiss her…to know she’s really okay.

I need my heart put back in my chest in order to be alive.

Jace and Dylan exchange a glance.

“We can’t see her right now,” Dylan starts. “Her parents are talking to the doctors, though and they’ll update us soon.” Her red-rimmed eyes flick over to Oakley. “What happened to your face?”

Oakley hangs his head. “Nothing”

The fuck it didn’t. The only reason he isn’t dead is because I needed a ride to the hospital.

“What happened?” Bianca screams. “Where’s Sawyer?”

“How did you get here?” Jace questions.

“I took an Uber.” She looks at me. “Where’s Sawyer?”

That’s exactly what I want to know.

I’m about to march past the visiting room and find out myself, but Sawyer’s parents walk through the double doors.

I don’t like the expression on either of their faces.

Or the fact that they both look like they’ve been crying.

“Mr. Church,” I yell, my voice a thread away from snapping. “She’s okay, right? I can see her.”

She’s eighteen. She’s young, vibrant—and before Oakley stuffed those goddamn pills down her throat—she was healthy.

If people in their sixties and seventies can survive heart attacks, Sawyer should have no problem recovering.

They look at each other, but neither of them say a word.

Fine. If no one is going to tell me how Sawyer is, I’ll just find out for myself.

I start to brush past them, but a large hand clamps down on my shoulder. “We need to talk,” Mr. Church says.

“Can we talk after?”

After I see the most important person in the world.

His brown eyes—eyes that look just like Sawyer’s—are so despondent the sharp ache in my chest is back.

He hustles me over to an empty seat near Dylan and Jace.

Then he addresses the group.

“I have good news…and I have some very bad news.”

“Start with the good news,” Dylan says. “I don’t know if I can take anymore bad.”

Her father nods in understanding. “The good news is they were able to revive her.”

“What’s the bad news?” I bark.

He takes several deep breaths, like he’s trying to gather the courage to say his next words.

“She had a massive heart attack.”

“Cardiac arrest,” Mrs. Church mutters. “Get it right.”

“Does it really matter, Jolene?” he grunts before he addresses us again. “Anyway, in order for her to have the best chance for survival…they needed to put her in a medically induced coma.”

I bolt out of my seat. “What?”

A coma? That doesn’t make any sense.

“Why? Why would they do that to her?”

“To reduce the workload on her heart. Help her recover from the trauma—”

“If she recovers,” her mom chokes out through sobs. “Oh, God.”

“What do you mean if she recovers? What the fuck does that mean?”

Of course she’s recovering. She has to.

Mr. Church looks like he wants to throttle his wife. “I told you to let me handle this.” He looks around at all of us. “The chances for survival after something like this are…not great. But I don’t want y’all to think about that right now. Sawyer needs all the positivity and prayers she can get.”

“When can I see her?”

He motions for me to sit down again.

I don’t.

“It’s immediate family only since she’s in the ICU.”

Yeah, that’s not going to work.

As if sensing my frustration, his eyes cut to me. “We’ve talked to the nurses and they’re willing to make an exception for you and Dylan.” He looks between us. “One at a time, though.” He stands. “However, before I let anyone see her, we need to talk about something else.”

Confused, everyone glances at each other.

“What?” Dylan finally asks.

“The doctors said she has amphetamine in her system, but we’re having a hard time believing that because—”

“Sawyer doesn’t do drugs,” Dylan interjects. “She would never do drugs. Trust me.” Her voice wobbles. “We tell each other everything. She would have told me.”

Mrs. Church nods. “I know, sweetheart. However, I found an empty unmarked pill bottle in her purse.”

“We’ve been trying to figure out where it came from,” Mr. Church says. “Because Sawyer taking drugs just doesn’t make sense to us.”

“The doctors keep insisting she was, though,” Mrs. Church whispers, looking at Dylan. “Honey, if you know something—”

“Your daughter isn’t doing drugs,” Dylan declares. “I know my best friend. The doctors made a mistake.”

I look at Oakley, but he won’t look at me. Coward.

“Okay, then.” Mr. Church clears his throat. “Cole, you can see her now if you want.”

I pull out my phone as I head for the double doors and type out a text.

Cole: You better tell Sawyer’s parents the truth right now, shithead. Or I will.

The least he can do is look her parents in the eyes and explain to them why their daughter is lying in a hospital bed…fighting for her life.

The room feels freezing cold the moment I walk inside.

But it’s nothing compared to the icy chill up my spine when I see her.

Mr. Church told me it was a lot to take in, but I didn’t listen.

A slew of cords and IV’s surround her.

A mask covers most of her face…one that’s hooked up to a machine.

There’s a bandage on her forehead. I’m guessing from when she collapsed and hit her head on the sink.

But it’s the lifeless way she’s lying there that does me in.

For as long as I’ve known this girl, she’s been a spitfire…lighting up my life with her sass and sarcasm.

With her big heart.

I want nothing more than for her to wake up and tell me it will all be fine…but she can’t.

Chest heavy, I take the seat on the left because there’s less shit in my way.

I hate that her glasses are off and I can’t look into her eyes, so I reach for her hand instead.