Us Against You Page 31
The female councillor represented a party that had publicly distanced itself “in the strongest possible terms” from Richard Theo, but a few kind words can go a long way. She admitted, “Oh, I don’t know. Everyone’s saying that Beartown Ice Hockey is going to go bankrupt, but I’ve got no interest in sports! What am I supposed to say if anyone asks me?”
Theo put his hand on her shoulder and said, “It’s not that serious. The council still has another hockey club, after all. Just say that everyone ought to start supporting Hed Hockey instead!”
And the woman walked out of the council building, and while a Hed fan was filming her she said exactly that. Then she got an ax embedded in the hood of her car. Her party colleagues weren’t remotely sympathetic the next day and just snapped, “How could you be stupid enough to say that everyone ought to support Hed? In this council district?” What was she supposed to say to that? That Richard Theo had told her to say it? She kept her mouth shut, her party colleagues yelled at her, and she burst into tears when they weren’t looking.
That evening Theo came to her office, listened and commiserated, even apologized to her. She had new enemies, so she needed a friend. Theo offered to drive her car to a garage, promised to pay for the damage, told her not to worry. He drove her home and told her to call him if she felt even remotely threatened, no matter what time it was. “You don’t have to be afraid, you’ve good friends,” he reminded her. Then he said, “I’ll see to it that the club punishes the hooligans who attacked you. I’m going to get them to do away with the standing area in the rink!”
None of the woman’s party colleagues asked how she was, none of them reached their hand out to her, so she took the only one on offer. Which belonged to someone with quick reflexes.
* * *
The Spanish-home-owning politician realizes his mistake the moment he sees the newspaper, quickly abandons his holiday, and returns home. He is met at the airport by Richard Theo.
“What are you doing here?” the Spanish-home-owning politician asks.
“I want to help you,” Theo says.
The Spanish-home-owning politician laughs. “Really? We’ve never exactly been on the same . . . side.”
But he is curious, and the newspaper articles about the hospital have put him into a tight corner. So Theo offers to get him a cup of coffee, then explains good-naturedly that “you and I both want what’s best for the area” and that “no one gains anything from anxiety and discord.” They talk a bit about the articles about the hospital, and Theo laments the fact that everything has been “unfortunately expressed.” The Spanish-home-owning politician spends a while cursing “bastard journalists,” after which Theo suddenly exclaims, “Have you heard about Beartown Ice Hockey’s new sponsor?”
The Spanish-home-owning politician nods, then grunts, “Yes! Everyone seems to be talking about it, but no one seems to know who this mysterious ‘sponsor’ actually is!”
Theo leans forward and reveals, “It’s a company that’s going to buy the factory in Beartown. They’ve contacted me, I can let you hold the press conference when the deal becomes official. There’ll be a lot of new jobs for the area.”
The Spanish-home-owning politician stammers, “How do you . . . ? I hadn’t even heard . . .”
Without going into detail, Theo explains that he was tipped off by some old friends from his banking days in London. He also explains what the factory’s new owners are hoping to get from the council: “Obviously they need a degree of political goodwill. Investment in . . . infrastructure.” The Spanish-home-owning politician understands what that means: subsidized land, reduced rent, more or less public subsidies for the restructuring of the factory. But he also appreciates the value of being the politician who can promise new jobs at a press conference.
“Why are you telling me this?” he asks suspiciously.
“Because I don’t want to be your enemy,” Theo replies gently.
The Spanish-home-owning laughs out loud at that. “You’re a horse trader, Richard. What do you want?”
Richard Theo replies calmly, “A seat at future negotiation tables. You just have to mention me and my party during the press conference, open the door to future cooperation, and the other parties will follow your lead.”
“You want me to clean up your political reputation?”
“I’m offering you the chance to be the politician who saves jobs in Beartown.”
The Spanish-home-owning politician plays hard to get, but he’s already sold. So he requests just one thing from Theo: “All the new jobs at the factory have to go to people from Beartown! Under no circumstances must my party be seen to be favoring Hed right now!”
Richard Theo makes a solemn promise. It isn’t worth much. He has nothing against the Spanish-home-owning politician; they’re actually fairly similar, but that’s the problem. The Spanish-home-owning politician knows everyone with money in the area, but he’s also known to be a lover of sports who has always done his best to prop up the hockey clubs, and that’s a dangerous combination. Richard Theo needs an opponent who’s easier to beat. So when the Spanish-home-owning politician is driving home, Theo calls his friend in London at once. “It’s done. The new owners will get everything they need. There’s just one thing that’s cropped up . . .”
The factory’s new owners naturally understand when Theo explains that, bearing in mind the heated local debate about the closure of the hospital, it would be greatly appreciated “among local politicians” if the new owners could give an undertaking to recruit a large number of their new workers from Hed.
* * *
So that no one thinks that Beartown is being shown any favoritism.
* * *
One evening toward the end of the summer Richard Theo knocks on a front door. The female politician looks surprised when she opens it. She asks Theo in, but he smiles apologetically and says he “doesn’t want to disturb her.” He can see her husband and children inside the house.
“The factory’s new owners are going public with the deal soon. They’re going to announce new jobs and the fact that they’ll be sponsoring Beartown Ice Hockey. They’re going to hold a press conference with the politicians who have made the deal possible,” Theo says.
The woman isn’t skilled enough at the game to understand how this affects her, so she says, “Congratulations. That’ll be a feather in your cap for the next election.”
Theo smiles modestly. “I won’t be there. But your party will be there, of course, seeing as you’re still the biggest party on the council.”
“I’m not high enough up the hierarchy to take part in a press conference. Especially after . . . you know, the ax in my car,” the woman says.
Theo is gratified that there’s a note of anger as well as fear in her voice. “What if I could arrange for you to be there, next to the leader of your party?”
“You can’t do that . . . can you?”
She falls silent, but Theo says nothing, so the woman goes on, “What do you want from me?”
“I want to be your friend,” he says.
“What do I have to say at the press conference?” she asks, a little too eagerly.
“The truth: that it isn’t just Beartown that needs jobs but Hed, too. A responsible politician always thinks about the whole district.”
The woman shakes her head, her eyelids flutter. “I can’t . . . you must see that I can’t possibly . . .”
Theo’s hand touches hers, calm and reassuring. “You’re scared. Don’t be. No one’s going to hurt you.”
She sees in his eyes that he’s serious. She gasps, “So you want me to demand that some of the jobs in the factory must go to people living in Hed?”
He nods. “Half.”
“Do you have any idea how hated that will make me in Beartown?”
Richard Theo shrugs his shoulders pragmatically. “Yes, but they’ll love you in Hed. And Hed has a bigger population. If you’re already hated in one place, you have to try even harder to be loved in the other. You don’t win elections by having as few enemies as possible, only by having the most friends.”
“Is this even legal? Can you even . . . what happens if my party expels me?”
“You misunderstand me. You won’t just have a place in your party after this, you’ll be its leader.”
Richard Theo is serious when he says this, too.
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