“Shaw,” I tried again. I put my hands on her shoulders and where I thought I was going to push her away my body betrayed me and I ended up pushing the straps of that fancy bar off her shoulders. She pressed close to me, her hands making short work of the belt and the fastening on my pants. Her lips fluttered over the pulse pounding rapidly at my throat. Her hands trialed lightly over my chest and across abs that were tense with desire. One of her legs slid between mine and rubbed against the evidence that I wasn’t going to stop her regardless of knowing it was the right thing to do.

“Stop thinking so hard.” Her voice was all husky sweet and cloudy with desire. She was the last person on earth I should be contemplating doing this with but even as objections broke through my haze of lust I used one hand to unhook her bra and the other to tangle in her hair as I sealed my mouth over hers. Kissing Shaw was a different experience than kissing any other girl. For one she was really good at it. Most girls got lost or a little confused because of the bite of my lip ring and the fact I had a metal barbell in the center of my tongue, Shaw seemed oblivious to both of them and kissed me like she had been born to do it. She was also a lot shorter than most of the girls I normally hooked up with so there was an entire learning curve involved where I had to figure out a way to get all the best parts of us lined up. She didn’t seem to care at all that I was a little rough, that I was suddenly impatient. I felt like if I gave myself too much time to get my head around what I was doing I would falter and stop and man I really, really didn’t want to stop because her hands had found their way into my pants and my dick would kill me if I pulled the plug now.

She tugged the denim down over my ass and I pulled her up so that we were pressed together shoulder to thigh. I shrugged the pants the rest of the way off and gave her a little push so that she fell back onto my rumpled bed. It took some maneuvering and a few curse words to get my boots off and when I went to crawl up over her my brain short circuited because all she had on was barely there lacy panties and dreamy look on her face. A lot of girls had been in this bed, in fact last weekend had been the first time in a long time I had spent the night alone, but even though I was in a haze of testicle squeezing desire I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt that none of them looked like Shaw looked against the dark sheets and comforter. She slid an appreciative eye over my naked form, not like she hadn’t see it before, but somehow now that it was sprawled out on top of her, the look was more ‘do me’ and less ‘Rule you’re gross’.

Her hand brushed over the tattoo of the sacred heart on the center of my chest and up along the two giant rib pieces that covered most of my torso. I had a lot of color and a lot of art work decorating my skin and when I was naked it tended to be a lot to take in and had been overwhelming to some of my less adventurous bed partners. I mean I wasn’t vain or conceited but I knew I was alright to look at. I was tall and tended toward lean and fit, I went to the gym a few times a week but none of that really mattered because she was looking at me like I was everything she ever wanted and it was doing weird things to my head. I also had a barbell pierced through the head of my penis that meant I was both brave and idiotic; because half the chicks that saw it had no clue what to do with it. Shaw had walked in on me enough times to know that it was there, but she didn’t seem to care either way. She let the pad of her thumb brush across the top ball of it which made suck in a breath.

I realized I was letting this girl call all the shots, that I was about to have sex with her and we had barely said a word, that she was touching me, making me go crazy and I was just letting her. I needed to get with the program so I hooked my fingers in her tiny little underwear and pulled them down her legs. She shivered in response and now that she was finally fully naked and trapped under me there was a hint of trepidation in her mossy gaze.

“You’re beautiful.” I had said it to many others before her, but I think this was the first time I meant it.

She put her hands on either side of my head and I realized my new hairdo wasn’t exactly and easy one to work with where sex was involved. There was nothing up there for her to hold on to, nothing up there for her to run her fingers through, it was all spiked up and manhandled into intimidating spikes not that she seemed to care. She scraped her fingernails across my scalp and gave me a lopsided grin. I couldn’t tell if the booze was wearing off or she was finally starting to realize we were naked and in bed about to cross a definite boundary, but a hint of the Shaw I was used to dealing with was starting to surface.

“So are you, you shouldn’t be but you always have been. I remember the first time I saw you I thought I can’t believe they’re twins. Remy was so handsome, always so perfect, but you, God Rule you were just beautiful.”

The fact that she brought Remy’s name up while her hand was wrapped around my dick should have been like ice water on the moment. It wasn’t. I kissed her below her ear and let my teeth nick her neck. She made a noise that did something to the center of my chest and hooked a leg up over my hip so that all her heat and ready to go was pressed up against my hardness. I blinked for a second because I felt like I was forgetting something. She was wrapping her arms around my shoulders and panting as I brushed kisses across her puckered up nipples and just as I was about to let her pull me in a shiver of apprehension slammed across my spine and I pushed up off her. “Condom.” I’d been having sex since I was fourteen years old and it didn’t matter who the girl was or how drunk I was I never forgot. The fact that my head was spun around by her, so lost in what we were doing that I almost put both of us at risk scared the shit out of me.

“I have one in my purse.” I looked at her and blinked.

“I have a box in the nightstand, Shaw, come on do you really want to do this? Think about it, you’re wasted. You’re going to regret it in the morning.”

She sat up and her cool two-toned hair fell forward to cover the top of her swollen breasts. She looked like every naughty dream I had ever had and I couldn’t believe I was trying to talk her out doing this with me. Her eyes suddenly got glassy and I knew she was going to cry. She went to crawl past me off the bed but I trapped her in my arms and rolled her so that we were once again lined up.

“Don’t cry.”

“You never wanted me.”

I was stunned so I just let my mouth fall open. “Uh I’m pretty sure you can feel the proof of that not being true, in fact you just had your hot little hands all over it.”

She shook her head and her silky blond hair rubbed across my chest. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What do you mean?” She wiggled a little against me and reached an arm up for my nightstand drawer. If it had been anyone else I would have freaked out, but this was Shaw, anything that was in that drawer wouldn’t surprise her or freak her out, including the loaded gun I kept in there. I heard the cellophane wrapper and felt her hands back below my waist. I wasn’t sure I remembered ever having a condom put on me ever feel so good.

“Rule it’s my birthday, my life is a freaking mess most of the time can you just for once do this for me, please?”

What red blooded, American male would turn down a dead sexy, naked blond that asked you to please do it to her? Not me, no way, no how so I kissed her again, let my tongue slid against hers and lifted her leg up over my hip. I liked to think I knew what I was doing in this department, after all I had more practice than I cared to admit, but for some reason with her I felt like I what I was doing was all new. She kissed me back on a soft gasp as I started to slide in. She was tight, she was tiny, she was hot and wet, and I think I was going to die if I didn’t get to get all the way in the next second.

She whispered my name across my neck and arched her back. Her nails dug into my shoulders as I lifted her up a little bit and tried to push all the way in. I swore and she froze as there was something most definitely in the way but my momentum was to great and I had her too keyed up to stop so she snapped wide eyes to mine as her mouth made a little O of surprised pain as I glared down at her.

“What the fuck Shaw?”

She gave her head a little shake and lifted her other leg up around my hip and moved against me in a way that made me utter every swear word I knew. “Don’t stop. Rule, please don’t stop.” She was breathy and it was too late for that to be an option anyway. She felt better than anything I had ever felt in my life and there was no way I was going to stop now, not unless I wanted to walk funny until I was thirty. I let the fingers of one hand tangle in her hair and propped my weight up on the other so that I wasn’t crushing her and went about having the best sex of my life with a god damn lying virgin.

She moved just the way I wanted her to, she touched me in ways that would wake me up in the middle of the night remembering them, she kissed me like she had been created to do it exactly the way I liked, she matched my rhythm the way only people that had lots and lots of sex together normally managed to do and every time she whispered my name or made a sexy sound of satisfaction and delight it made me feel ten feet tall. I hadn’t had sober sex in a long time, I hadn’t had sex with someone I knew for more than a few hours in a long time either and I couldn’t believe the difference both those things made.

I wanted it to be good for her, wanted it to turn her inside out like it was doing to me and since it was her first time I wanted to make sure that it was what she was going to have to compare every guy after me to. We moved together, she arched her back and put her hands back on my head.

“Oh my God, Rule.” She was close; I could feel the little tremors all along my cock. There was no way I was going to ruin this for her so I touched her in a way that was guaranteed to make her shatter and was rewarded with big eyes and a gasp of surrender. I was super relieved because I wasn’t going to last much longer. I buried my nose in her neck and followed her over the edge. By the time it was done my arms were shaking and I was breathing like I had run a marathon. I slid out of her and rolled to my side all ready to have the regret and despair settle on me, only her eyes had drifted closed so I got up to go into my bathroom and clean up. I pulled on a pair of sweats and grabbed a wash cloth for her. When I went back into the room she was curled up on her side with her cheek resting on her folded up hands, she looked all of sixteen years old. The steady rise and fall of her chest indicated that she was asleep so I cleaned her up the best I could without waking her and settled in the bed next to her. I crossed my arms up under my head and stared up at my ceiling.

What the hell had I done? And what in the hell had Remy been doing with her for all those years if he hadn’t been sleeping with her? They had always claimed they were just friends but no one had believed them. The love they had for each other, the protectiveness, the camaraderie they shared had often even made me jealous and I now I didn’t know what the hell to think. Shaw had been a girl that never fell into the girls I can’t or won’t have sex with category for most of my life but now I had blown that all to smithereens I didn’t know what to do about it. She wasn’t just some chick I could never call again, that I could shove out the door the next morning and I didn’t have the first clue what to do about it. Add in the fact that it was probably the most intense, best sex of my life and I felt like I was losing control. I shouldn’t feel that way about Shaw; she shouldn’t be the one to rock my world like it had never been rocked before. Frankly it weirded me out that she was better and more turned on by my ink and piercings than the majority of girls I brought home. Now I had a disarray on my hands and the wrong girl in my bed and I didn’t have a clue what to do about it.