“And how is Talin?” she asked, coming to sit next to me. “He looked exhausted when I saw him at breakfast.”

“He isn’t sleeping well. I suppose that’s to be expected. He’s been through a lot.”

Zadie took my hand in hers. “So have you.”

“I don’t understand it,” I said, swiping the tears from my cheeks. “Why should I be sad about a man who tried to kill me more than once, who tried to kill Zoi and Talin and enslaved everyone I love?”

“Because you have a very generous heart,” she said, smoothing my hair back from my face. She pulled me against her side, and I allowed myself to cry for Ceren for the first time since his death. Not for the tyrant who had used everyone in his path for his own selfish gains and revenge, but for the little boy standing at a rain-streaked window, for the man who had stared up at me from the lakeside after I saved him from drowning, the one who wanted to see the ocean again one last time.

That person was worthy of forgiveness.

* * *

“Auntie Nor!”

I turned away from the ocean to see Zoi running toward me. I was in the main room of the manor we were living in until the castle was built, standing as I often did on the wide veranda overlooking the sea. It was early winter, and the air was cold and sharp against my cheeks, but I welcomed it. The biting cold was a reminder that I was still here.

“What is it?” I asked, scooping Zoi up in my arms. She had come out of her shell over the past month, easing into a far more settled existence than she’d ever known. Between her mother, her nursemaid, Zadie, and Talin, she was rarely alone, and she seemed to thrive on the routine they’d created for her. In the afternoons, she rode her little white pony along the cliffs with Talin, and I accompanied them on Titania from time to time.

For reasons I still didn’t understand, Landrey had been allowed to return to Galeth from her banishment. I never knew why she’d been sent away in the first place, but Roan told me that Yana had been a different person since her sister came home, and they were considering ending the use of banishment as a punishment. And in an even more surprising twist, Landrey had let Titania stay with me. It was the best gift I could have asked for.

Adriel and Roan had returned to Galeth, though they would be visiting next month for the council meeting. It would be months, maybe years, before the castle was complete, but the large manor Talin had chosen for us as living quarters in the meantime was far more beautiful than New Castle or Old Castle. The expansive windows let in sunshine even in the winter, and it was surrounded by lush moors on three sides, the ocean on the other.

“Look what my brother had made for me!” Zoi gestured to Talin, who had entered the room behind her.

“What is it?” I asked.

Talin held up the long, narrow object in his hand. It was a scepter, I realized, though too small to belong to a king, and too large for a diminutive princess.

I set Zoi down as Talin passed it to me. It was crafted from a warm rose gold, engraved with coral and studded with pearls and jewels.

“It’s beautiful,” I said to Talin. “Where did you get it?”

“The other councilmembers had it made for Zoi,” he whispered in my ear, “but please don’t tell her that. She’s convinced it was my idea.”

I ran my fingers over the engravings and smiled. “A consolation prize for a jewel-encrusted palace, perhaps?”

“Zoi!”

Zadie stepped into the room and paused on the threshold. “There you are. You’re late for your lessons.” She glanced at me and sighed wearily. “It’s like trying to tutor a very wiggly, very naughty eel,” she said.

“What’s an eel?” Zoi took the scepter from my hands and ran to show it to Zadie without waiting for an answer. Zadie made such a show over how beautiful it was that even Zoi rolled her eyes.

“Back to work,” she said, giving me a meaningful smile as she escorted Zoi out of the room. “Ilara’s future leader must be clever and disciplined.”

I turned back to the window and felt Talin’s arms wrap around my waist. I leaned back against his shoulder, breathing in the salty sea air and Talin’s own warm, familiar scent.

“What’s wrong?” he asked against my neck. “You haven’t been yourself for ages.”

“I’m fine,” I insisted, turning to face him. “Really.”

“But fine isn’t good enough. I want you to be happy.”

I shrugged as well as I could in his arms. “I will be.”

His eyes searched my face. “Not here, though.”

“Don’t say that. I do feel restless, but it’s not because of the house, or you, or anyone. I don’t know what it is.”

He kissed me softly. His nightmares had all but faded in the past couple of weeks, and he seemed happier than I’d ever seen him. Ruling suited him, though he was far busier than I would have liked. We only really had time to talk at night, and he was usually so exhausted he fell asleep quickly.

But I lay awake at night feeling oddly unsettled. I had slept better on the road, in fact. “I think,” I began, hoping I could convey my thoughts without hurting him, “that I don’t feel like I have a purpose here. You, Zadie, Adriel, and Roan all have important jobs. I am grateful for my seat on the council, but I don’t represent anyone or anything.”

Talin waited patiently for me to finish.

“I thought I would be satisfied when all the people I cared about were safe. But I still find myself wondering what else is out there beyond the horizon.”

“Of course you do,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You have the soul of an adventurer. That doesn’t just go away.”

I gazed up at him uncertainly. “No?”

“No. So tell me, what do you want to do?”

“I want to learn about healing from Adriel. I want to see if we can improve our diplomatic relationship with Kuven. Without you marrying their princess,” I added hastily. “I’d like to visit the Penery Islands, and train with the Galethians, and find out if anyone else has the same ties to nature as the Varenians.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Then what are you waiting for?”

“It’s not that simple, Talin. I want to be with you, too. I want to be with the people I love.” I chewed my lip, hesitant. Knowing what I wanted was one thing; admitting it to Talin was another. But I couldn’t keep denying the truth that had been buried in me since the day the Ilarean boy gave me the wandering crab. I took a deep breath. “And I want freedom.”

His face was so open with understanding that my heart felt like it might burst from loving him. “Then go, my love. We’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”