“If you have another opportunity to end this, don’t let it pass you by.”

      25

   Ceren might be a liar, but he kept his word to me: I was allowed to leave the castle for one day each week. He surprised me further by agreeing to let me take riding lessons. I knew now that it wasn’t enough to warn Sami about Ceren’s devices or even his plans to enslave the Varenians. Lady Hyacinth had called my people the enemy, and Ceren had to be stopped before he could become king. And if I ever had the opportunity to leave New Castle, my only hope of escape would be by horseback. Ceren had made no further mention of our market trip, but I would get there this time, with or without him.

My riding lessons were at Old Castle, an hour’s ride from New Castle. There were stables in the base of the mountain, but Old Castle was where the horses were bred and trained. Grig was my instructor, and by my third lesson, I could canter independently. I had trousers made so I could ride astride my horse, which felt far more secure than sidesaddle, even though Ebb found the entire thing inappropriate.

I had another secret motive for going to Old Castle once a week, though I barely admitted it to myself. Talin hadn’t been at the castle since I killed Salandrin, and I still hadn’t had a chance to thank him for saving my life. But he was never there when I came for lessons, or if he was, he didn’t come to see me.

I understood it to some extent. Ceren was obviously aware of the connection between us, and rubbing it in his face wouldn’t make things better for either Talin or myself. But even though the sun on my skin and the freedom I felt on horseback made me so happy I nearly wept with joy every time I stepped out of the castle, I yearned for something beyond fresh air.

I dreamed of Talin often, only to wake up with a hollow feeling in my chest. I remembered how he had looked at me before he handed me the knife, how I’d felt seen for who I really was.

I wanted that feeling again.

After a successful fourth lesson, I rode back to the barn with Grig, both of us laughing at how I’d nearly fallen off after my horse decided to let out a joyful buck for no apparent reason.

“Milady!” a voice shouted from across the fields. I turned to see a young squire galloping toward us. Grig and I shared a worried glance and rode to meet him.

The squire pulled his horse to a skidding stop in front of me. “It’s the king, milady. He’s very ill. The prince needs you to come at once. And I’m to fetch Prince Talin, as well.”

“He’s not here,” I said, but Grig was already digging his heels into his horse’s flanks.

“I’ll tell him,” he called over his shoulder. “Go!”

Ceren’s guards, who accompanied me on every outing, guided their horses to stand on either side of me. “We’ll ride back, milady,” one of them said. “It’s faster than the carriage.”

“Is that necessary?” I asked the squire.

He nodded. “The prince seemed very concerned. The doctor said the king may not make it through the night.”

I gaped at him over my shoulder as my mare took off with the guards’ horses. “What?”

“That’s right,” he called. “Prince Ceren told me to tell you. The king is dying!”

The king had been dying for years, I told myself as we galloped toward the castle. This didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t.

It crossed my mind that now might be my chance for escape. The guards had already outpaced my small bay mare, and with so much concern for the king, it might be a while before anyone even noticed I was gone. I was already on a horse. How far could I get before they caught me?

As if to answer my question, Talin came thundering up beside me on his gray stallion, and I knew I wouldn’t make it ten feet if I tried to run. I looked up at him, wondering how far away he could possibly have been to catch up with us this quickly. Not far at all, I surmised, which meant he was deliberately avoiding me. I wanted to ask him why, but how could I now, when his father was dying?

It was like the gods were toying with us, bringing us together only to pull us apart again, like Laef and Ilara. They had fought against the fates so hard, only to lose each other in the end. Perhaps it would have been better to simply let go.

We arrived at the base of the mountain in half the time it normally took by carriage. Climbing up the mountain was easier every time I did it, but today I was already winded from the ride. Two-thirds of the way up, I knew if I didn’t stop to catch my breath, I’d never make it the rest of the way. I was about to sit down on the steps when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist.

“I’ve got you,” Talin said, hauling me back onto my feet. He didn’t look at me as he took my hand and began to pull me up the stairs, but the feeling of having my hand wrapped in his made it harder to catch my breath, not easier.

When we reached the platform leading to the main entrance, I tried to stop for a moment to compose myself. I had hoped to go back to my room and change before dinner. I was sweaty from the climb, my hair had unraveled partially during the ride, and I had no idea what the other lords and ladies would make of my attire. But if they saw me fretting over my wardrobe before going to see my future husband and his dying father, I’d only send more rumors into circulation.

Before I could even brush the dirt off my breeches, Talin pulled on my hand and marched us past the guards into the great hall. Lords and ladies stood in clusters, their murmurs punctuated by the occasional sob of an elder as she pressed a handkerchief to her eyes. If the people had been alerted, things had to be even worse than I feared. My thoughts darted to and fro like startled fish, but I focused on the warmth of Talin’s hand on mine and how easy it felt to be led by someone else for a change.

Ebb came scurrying out from a corner and rushed to my side. “There you are, milady. I was starting to worry. Is everything all right?”

“I’m fine. How is the king?” I lowered my voice. “Is he really dying?”

“That’s what they’re saying. Prince Ceren came looking for you several hours ago. I think he was so distraught he’d forgotten you left.”

I had seen Ceren in many moods, but distraught wasn’t a word that came to mind when I thought of him. We strode down the corridors to the king’s chambers, passing more worried nobles on the way. When we reached the king’s room, a guard opened the door for us without speaking. The royal physician was bent over the king in his bed. Ceren paced the length of the room, rubbing his chin with his thumb.

Talin dropped my hand the moment we entered the chamber, and I was immediately reminded how cold it was inside New Castle. I clasped my hands in front of me and took a cautious step forward.

“Your Highness,” I said quietly, afraid to disturb anyone. “I apologize it’s taken us so long to get here. We only just heard the news.”