And instead, I was being forced to marry someone else.

He wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “I’m going to do everything in my power to help Varenia, Nor.”

“But what about your brother?”

“Damn my brother.” He pulled me to him with an urgency I hadn’t felt in our first kiss, as if with the knowledge that this kiss would most likely be our last. His mouth was hot and rough on mine. I wanted to touch him, to feel his skin against mine, not leather against linen. His hands were in my hair, on my waist, cupping my face, everywhere. As if he couldn’t get enough of me, either. As if even a thousand kisses wouldn’t be enough.

* * *

We made good time on the rest of the journey and reached Mount Ayris by sunset. As we began the ascent, I could feel the warmth of our kiss draining from me with each stride. New Castle loomed closer and closer, and we had no idea what would be waiting for us when we got there.

Talin climbed the stone steps behind me. I felt like a small weight had been lifted, now that someone knew the truth about me. Not just who I was, but also about my scar, my healing abilities, my plans to help my people. There were no secrets between us anymore. Not on my part, anyway. And while it hurt that he didn’t trust me enough to reveal all his plans, I couldn’t help believing that anything Talin wanted was just and worthy.

Ceren greeted us in the great hall, dressed in a robe the color of a moonless sky. There was no crown on his head, and he looked even wearier than before we left. The king must still be alive.

“My lady,” he said, bowing deeply. “You’re looking well. How was the market? Everything you hoped it would be?”

“It was wonderful, thank you. Your men did an excellent job of keeping an eye on me.” I smiled sweetly at the guards. They wouldn’t be able to tell Ceren about the time I spent alone with Talin now, not without making themselves look bad.

“I’m glad to hear it. The road can be unsafe for a lady without a proper escort.”

Talin eyed his brother, but overlooked the implied snub. “How is Father?”

“His condition hasn’t improved, but it hasn’t worsened. He’s lingering. For what, I don’t know. We should see him now. He’s been asking for you.”

“I think I’ll bathe and change, if that’s all right,” I said to Ceren. “I’m a bit dusty from the road.”

I followed his gaze to the blood on the linen shirt I wore beneath my corset. “Are you hurt, my lady?”

“We were attacked by ruffians claiming to work for the woman king,” Talin explained. “The lady wears the attacker’s blood, not her own. We were lucky.”

Ceren’s mouth twisted with disapproval. “I’d like the full report. Please excuse us, my lady.” He gestured for me to go with Ebb. The hot bath waiting in my room was the only thing about New Castle I’d missed over the last five days.

Later that evening, after I’d changed and eaten a small meal in my room, I went to see the king. He might be weak, but he had never been cruel to me, and I would be sorry when he died. The king’s physician sat near the head of his bed, checking his pulse. I was glad to see they weren’t bleeding him again, at least.

Ceren and Talin arrived a moment after I did.

“Father, Talin and I are here with Zadie,” Ceren said as he approached his father’s bed. “We wanted to say good-night.”

The king’s eyes fluttered open, and he rasped out a response too quiet for me to hear.

“No, Father, that’s not your wife.” He said the word with a sneer, as though the taste of it in his mouth offended him. “It’s Zadie, as I said.”

With a great show of effort, the king raised an arm as slender as a child’s and gestured to me. I glanced at Ceren, unsure.

“Go on,” he said.

I perched myself on the edge of the king’s bed, trying not to touch the sheets that reeked of illness. “I’m here, Your Majesty.”

He held out a hand, and I took it with my free one. “Talia,” he said gently, his watery blue eyes searching for a ghost.

Tears welled in my own eyes as I saw the love written plainly across the king’s pale face. How could Ceren have been cruel enough to steal his father’s happiness by killing his stepmother? I glanced back at the brothers, who stood watching me like two statues: one carved from marble and just as cold, the other a bronze study of agony.

I kissed the king gently on his forehead, then rose to my feet. “Good night, Your Majesty.”

Ceren reached for my hand as I brushed past him. “Shall I escort you back to your room, my lady?”

“You should stay with your father,” I said. “I can find my way just fine.”

On the walk back to my chambers, I stopped at the portrait gallery to see Zadie. She smiled down at me, the sister I’d known before the choosing ceremony, when everything changed. The idea that she wasn’t happy now, after everything we’d been through, opened a pit somewhere behind my rib cage. This was the first time since coming to Ilara that my despair threatened to overwhelm me. As frightened as I’d been when I came to New Castle, as much as Ceren repulsed me and the cold and darkness gnawed at my very soul, I’d had a purpose. Saving my people, and Zadie most of all, made my sacrifice worth it. But knowing that Governor Kristos had sent me here, even after Talin’s warning... It was almost impossible to believe anyone could stop Ceren.

“I miss you,” I whispered to Zadie. “Every minute of every day. I wish they’d chosen Alys, and that you and I were still together now. You could have married Sami, and I would have found someone willing to put up with me, and we would have raised our children together. Boys, maybe, so they never had to worry about their beauty.”

No, I heard her say. I wanted daughters. Twins, like us. Only I would have raised them both to be as beautiful as you, dear sister, in the ways that matter.

My vision of her was so strong that I could have sworn I felt her hand on my cheek. Don’t cry, Nor. We will be together again. In this life or the next.

And then she was gone, and I was left alone in a hall full of ghosts.

      30

   A seamstress came to visit the following day. Apparently Ceren thought I should be fitted for my wedding gown as soon as possible. The seamstress was short and rosy-cheeked, with black hair in a simple braid down her back. From the villages, probably, since she didn’t appear to be of noble blood, and she had too much color in her skin to live in the castle all the time.

“Milady,” she said, curtsying. “It’s an honor to be fitting you in person. I hope you’ve been happy with my work.”