“Nor,” he said, his voice low.

I opened my eyes and found him staring at me, his hands cupping my face. He stroked the sensitive spot on my cheek with his thumb. I realized that I had forgotten the stain in my room, and I knew then I would never wear it again.

“I do want to be with you, Talin. But first I need to make sure my family is all right. Things were bad when I left, and they only got worse, according to Sami. Besides, who will tell them that Ceren is dead if I don’t go?”

He nodded. “I’ll take you. The port market is in two days.”

I couldn’t believe so much time had passed since I saw Sami, even though I had spent what felt like an eternity in that dungeon, weak and worthless while my family no doubt suffered.

The idea of having Talin with me, taking me safely to the market, perhaps even spending the night together on the road, was so tempting, I almost said yes. But the prince and the king were both dead, and the queen regent wouldn’t arrive for several days.

Right now, Talin’s people needed him, just as mine needed me.

“Thank you,” I said softly. “It means everything to me that you would offer to leave Ilara now. But your place is here, at least until your mother is on the throne.”

He pulled me closer. “I can’t let you go alone, Nor. The road is too dangerous.”

“I’ll take a weapon. You can give me enough money to pay for a new horse when I need it. And when the time is right, I know you’ll come for me.”

I loved that he wanted to protect me, and that he didn’t argue when I told him no. He lowered his face to mine and kissed me long and slow, without urgency, a promise that he would come for me as soon as he could, that we would be together again.

“Are you sure you have to leave immediately?” he asked when we finally broke apart. “My guards won’t touch you. I’ll make sure you are pardoned for Ceren’s death. You could wait until dawn and still make it to the market. You need time to rest and heal.”

“I’m already healed,” I said gently. “And I can’t tell you how tempting it is to stay here in your arms. But it’s like I can hear my sister calling for me. She’s out there, very likely suffering, and every day that we’re apart is a day I’ll never get back, Talin.”

He nodded and handed me a small leather bag full of coins. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

“I promise.” I started toward the mare’s stall, but he stayed me with his hand.

“You’ll never make it on that mare,” he said. “I want you to take Xander.”

“Talin, I can’t,” I protested. “He’s your favorite horse.”

“He’s also my fastest, most loyal horse. He’ll take care of you in my stead. I need to know that you’ll make it back to Varenia safely. There will be other horses, but there will never be another you, Nor.”

For my entire life, I had been told that there was another me, and that she was better in every way that mattered. But from the moment Talin had met me in the governor’s house, soaking wet and arguing with Sami, he had seen me. Not just Zadie’s twin, but me: impetuous, stubborn, silly, competitive, flawed, loyal, determined, and yes, beautiful.

I kissed him one last time, breathing in his scent, trying to memorize it. “Thank you, Talin. For everything.”

I saddled Xander while Talin went to the Old Castle storerooms for provisions. When he returned, he loaded the saddlebags with some bread, apples, hard cheese, and two water skins.

Last, he handed me a rolled parchment scroll. “A map, in case you can’t remember the way. Xander will get you as far as the second inn we stayed at if you ride through the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. You’ll be able to spend the night there—tell the innkeeper I sent you—and that will give you enough time to get to the market by Friday afternoon. I’ll send word to you as soon as I’m able.”

“Thank you,” I said, pressing one last, fervent kiss to his lips.

Talin checked the girth a final time before boosting me onto Xander’s back. The stallion felt even larger without Talin’s steadying arms around me, and for a moment I began to feel the fear creep back in. I pushed it out with all the strength I had. There was no time for fear now, no place for doubt.

Between Old Castle and Varenia were miles of road and countless possible dangers, but at the end of it would be Zadie. I would ride through fire to get to her.

I waved goodbye at the road, and then Xander and I were off, galloping from the dawn that chased us like a golden wave. The farther I rode, the freer I felt, and I knew Varenia would look even more beautiful for having left it.

My people had a saying about home, as they did about so many of the important things in life: a Varenian can never be lost at sea, because he calls the entire ocean home. But they were wrong, I realized now. Home was not a house, or a village, or a sea. It was family, and love, and the space where your soul could roost, like a seabird safe from a storm.

I pressed my calves into Xander’s sides, leaning into the warmth of his sweat-drenched neck, and flew.

* * *

I made it to the inn late on Thursday night, exhausted in a way I’d never before experienced. I’d been stopped by soldiers at the border—Riv was nowhere to be found, thank Thalos—and had paid them off with a bribe. No one recognized me anyway; I was unwashed and too thin. My clothing was worn and frayed, and with my hair tucked away in the crude cloak from Sami, I looked like a poor boy, not the once–future queen of Ilara.

I knew as soon as I went to the stable on Friday morning that Xander could not make the rest of the journey. Even when he’d been trembling with exhaustion yesterday, he had continued on, and I wouldn’t push him farther. I paid the innkeeper to look after him until he could return him to Talin, and paid for the use of a shaggy brown pony, so lazy he would barely trot.

As the hours passed by, I knew that my odds of reaching the market before closing were slipping away. If I didn’t make it to Sami, I would still find a way to get to Varenia, but the idea of missing him by hours, possibly minutes, made me frantic as I thumped the pony’s sides with my legs, begging him to move faster.

Finally, when I could just see the tents of the market up ahead, I slid off the pony’s back and ran. My feet were destroyed from being stuffed inside the wet boots; I could feel the skin peeling away with each step. But I ran, and I ran, and I didn’t stop until I was outside the market gates.

“Sorry, boy,” said a man taking down his stall near the entrance. “Market’s closing.”

I shook my head, too breathless to speak, and ran past him. All around me were disassembled stalls, merchants hawking the last of their goods. Bruised apples and spotty cabbages were being sold for a tenth of their prices that morning. I hurtled past them all, my gaze slipping constantly to the sky, praying to see the swoop and dip of a kite above the remaining canopies. But there was nothing.