“Why don’t you take a hot shower? I’ll go pick something up so that it’s ready for when you get out.”

Things were seeming brighter by the second. I smiled and lifted myself off the bed. “Okay.”

By the time I got out of the long shower, though, while the hot Thai food was waiting in containers on the table, Sebastian made an unexpected announcement.

He looked upset. “I have to head to the restaurant. The chef called in sick and the substitute has never worked with us before. I have to make sure he knows what he’s doing, oversee things.”

“Oh no. Does that happen often?”

“Only a few times before. It always works out in the end, but it’s nerve-racking.”

This sucked.

“Okay . . . um, well . . . can I do anything?”

“Birdie isn’t supposed to be home for a while. But you can hang out here or head home. Whatever you prefer.”

“Will you let me know if you need me to head back here for her or something if you can’t make it back in time for her tomorrow?”

“Absolutely. Thank you for offering to do that.”

After he left, I couldn’t help wondering if there was more to his departure than the story he had given me. I knew that was probably ridiculous paranoia. It just seemed like the entire mood changed after I admitted to him that I’d donated my eggs. I could see how that might freak someone out. I remember watching stories on the news about sperm donors whose children came to find them years later. One guy had, like, twenty kids. My situation was different, of course. I didn’t do it for money. It was to honor my mother and help one family in need. But still, maybe he’d had some sort of a delayed reaction to my admission.

Anyway, I was probably reading into it too much. I tried to put it out of my mind for the rest of the day.

CHAPTER 25

SEBASTIAN

I was being ridiculous.

Right?

To suspect such a thing would be absolutely crazy.

It had honestly taken a while for my mind to conjure up the wild theory that Sadie’s news brought about. First, it shocked me to hear what she’d been through, how scared she’d been, and how it led her to make that very bold decision to harvest her eggs at such a young age. But it wasn’t until she mentioned the egg donation that the alarms started going off inside me.

It was hard to fathom where my mind was going with this. And yet . . . how could it not? How could I not wonder? There was a very good chance that all of this was just one big coincidence. But what if it wasn’t?

Pulling on my hair as I sat alone in a café around the corner from Bianco’s, I honestly had no idea what to do. I’d felt bad lying to her about the situation at the restaurant, but I had to be alone to process this. She would have definitely suspected something in my behavior if I’d stuck around.

Think.

Think.

Think.

Okay. When we had been given the information for our donor, all they gave us was a profile of her looks, health, and general background. But . . . they’d also told us that our eggs came from a woman who had donated them at no cost to help another family. I suppose that could be a coincidence, too. But the articles. Why did Amanda have them? And how could she even have found out the donor’s name? The process was supposedly completely anonymous. And why not tell me if she somehow found out? And why save the articles and not do anything else about it? What was the benefit in that?

Maybe Amanda just liked those articles.

Maybe this was all one big coincidence.

Maybe I really needed to let this whole thing go.

Forget I even thought it in the first place. But how? How could I just move on from this without knowing for certain if there’s any correlation?

What if Sadie ended up being Birdie’s donor? Wasn’t that an intrusion on Sadie’s privacy? She didn’t intend to ever find out whom she had donated to. It wasn’t fair to bring this upon her. My God. This is so fucking crazy.

Burning up, I took off my jacket and rested my head in my hands. There was no way I could broach the subject to Sadie without proof. I’d once mentioned that Amanda and I had some fertility help, but I had yet to even tell her that we’d had to use a donor egg because of the cancer treatments. Eventually, I would’ve told her and then what? She might have wondered the same thing I was wondering right now. Eventually, we’d have to face it.

If Amanda hadn’t saved those articles, none of this would even be happening. But it was too suspicious not to consider. There was no way I could alarm Sadie without proof, though. I needed to figure out a way to confirm things beforehand.

“Daddy, why are you looking at me funny?”

I hadn’t even realized I’d been staring so intently at my daughter as she sat across from me eating her pasta the following evening. All day, I’d been looking for signs of Sadie in her. They had the same blonde hair, but Birdie’s face, well . . . it was mine. She looked just like me, so her facial features weren’t going to be able to give me much of a clue.

“I’m just thinking about how beautiful you are,” I said. “And how lucky I am to have you. That’s all.”

“Oh.” She twirled her spaghetti. “When are we gonna see Sadie again?”

“Not tonight. But hopefully soon. Actually, Magdalene is coming over in a little while to babysit you so I can pay Sadie a visit.”

“Why can’t she come here?”

I had no good answer for that.

“We can do dinner some night this week here, okay?”

She shrugged. “Okay.”

Several minutes passed before she called me out again.

“Daddy . . .”

I blinked out of my daydream. “What, sweetie?”

“You’re looking at me funny again.”

I sighed. “I am, aren’t I?”

Not only was Birdie sensing that something was off, but I couldn’t risk fucking everything up with Sadie if all this worrying was in vain. Would I be staring at her like this, too? I needed to figure out a way to keep my cool with her tonight.

After Magdalene arrived, I headed over to Sadie’s apartment as fast as I could.

When she opened the door, I got the unexpected urge to pull her into my arms and just hold her. Because no matter what the truth was, I cared so much about this woman. I didn’t want her to end up feeling hurt or violated. Any decision she had made in the past was out of the goodness of her heart, and I knew that.

“What’s that for?”

Speaking into her neck, I said, “I was just thinking about how crazy I am about you. I also want to apologize for having to abruptly end our date yesterday.”

“You never have to apologize for something like that. You have so much going on. Honestly, I admire how you handle it all.”

Pulling back to look in her eyes, I said, “You know what, Sadie? I was handling it before you came along, going through the motions of life with little to look forward to for myself. Handling it all is so much easier when you have someone by your side, someone who brings you joy. Don’t ever doubt what you’ve brought into my life. I know we haven’t been together that long, but I haven’t been this happy in a very long time.”

She looked like she might cry. “You know you don’t have to say stuff like that to get in my pants, right?” She playfully smacked my shoulder. “Seriously, though, thank you for saying that. I feel so lucky to have met you. This is the first time in ages that I wouldn’t change a thing about my life.”