A Lily on the Heath Page 36
“Oh, Henry shall see the wrath of a woman. And soon. Does he not know I have his sons close in my heart, and I in theirs? And so ’twill always be. One of them shall be king some day—mayhap sooner than my husband wishes.”
Her mind whirling, Judith did her best to follow the queen’s tirade. Prince Henry was eleven, and Prince Richard was only nine…. It would be years before either of them could lead a revolt, which seemed to be what she was implying. Dear God, the queen is speaking to me of treason!
“You were a friend to me, Judith of Kentworth,” Eleanor continued. Her voice had quieted and she had stopped her pacing, but was turned away. “I trusted you, and I wanted only the best for you. What I could not have—freedom. Independence from a man’s rule. Why do you think I never allowed you to leave me, or to wed? Because I knew only heartache and pain awaits a wife. I sought to protect you of it, to keep you from such a fate. You could have remained with me for all time, independent and a woman of your own.”
“My lady,” Judith said, her heart squeezing with guilt. “I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you. I would never have done such a thing had it been in my power to refuse.”
The queen made a sound of disdain. She turned, straight and proud, and looked at Judith with eyes that glittered with anger and unshed tears. “I loved Henry once. You may love your husband as well, but know if you do, ’tis naught but a curse. For you will find only pain on that path. Pray to God you ne’er look upon the last woman he takes to his bed—for there will be one. The one he would keep forever. The one he would set you aside for if it didn’t mean giving up half his lands.” Her face appeared brittle, and with a start, Judith realized Eleanor was speaking of her.
“Nay, your majesty, I do not believe that,” Judith said. Her insides felt as if ice flushed through them. “Not I. He would always return to you.”
“So I once believed—anyway, I will not allow it,” Eleanor snapped. “He will never touch me again. And know you this, Judith…if you had not been such a friend to me all these years, I would not have been so forgiving of your misdeeds. Now, leave this court with your new husband. And allow me never to set my eyes on you again. And pray that you must never look upon the woman your husband loves.”
“Aye, my lady,” Judith whispered. Her heart pounded and her belly swished unpleasantly. She could hardly swallow. “And God be with you on the rest of this pregnancy.”
She turned to go, walking with a straight spine and firm chin to the door. Just as she reached it, the queen spoke once more. Her words were cold and flat.
“If you had come to me at once, Judith, I would have stopped it immediately. Henry would never have touched you again.”
The queen’s words echoed in Judith’s mind as she exited the courtroom. “I would have stopped it immediately.”
Was it true? All at once, she felt chilly and lightheaded. Could the queen have intervened? Could she have saved Judith from the horrors of the last fortnight? How could I have been so foolish? Of course she would have helped me. What a fool she’d been!
“Judith.”
With a start, she looked up to find Malcolm in front of her, a dark expression on his face. “Is all well?” he asked, taking her arm and casting a quick, dark glance at the hovering guards.
“Let us away from here,” she replied from between lips that hardly moved.
Her husband fell into step with her, taming his usually long strides to match hers. As soon as they were out of earshot of the men-at-arms, he demanded, “What did she do?”
Judith looked up at him, a tremor of warmth rushing through her at the knowledge that whatever she now faced, she no longer faced alone. She had a powerful husband to help and support her. “She sent me away. We’re to leave as soon as possible, and never to be seen by her again.”
An expression of obvious relief crossed his face. “I could not have asked for a better punishment. ’Twas my intent to leave this very day, as soon as I could extricate you from her—whether she allowed it or nay. The sooner we are away from here, the happier I shall be.” He glanced down at her, his happiness seeming to falter. “Did she strike you?”
“Nay, she did not.”
“Do you…do you not wish to leave Clarendon?” His lips flattened unhappily, as if he actually believed she’d want to stay.
“Oh, my lord, you know I wish to leave! More than nearly anything I want to see Lilyfare again,” Judith told him, forcing her lips into a smile. “Indeed, I am well ready to be quit of this place. But, Mal, she was…she….” Judith stopped there in the corridor and looked up at him, unable to form the words to explain how badly she’d handled the whole mess. She shook her head; she could never explain her confusion. Nor did she wish to speak of Eleanor’s dire predictions about love, for that would mean admitting to Malcolm how much she cared for him. “The queen…she was…overset.”
“Of course the queen is overset,” he said, looking at her as if she’d confessed that the sky was blue. “And ’tis why we must leave anon. Come. We have privacy in the chamber to discuss your conversation. And I have more preparations before we leave.”
“Aye, of course. But I do not have a mount,” she said, suddenly remembering her other loss. “And I’ve not packed, and—”
“Your maid is packing for you and I will soon introduce you to a very sweet-tempered but strong and brisk mare by the name of Socha. She is your new horse.”
“Oh!” she said with great delight, stopping again in the corridor after only two steps to look up at him. “Thank you, Malcolm.”
“She’s gray and has a white forelock,” he said, almost smiling now. “I hope she will suit you.”
“If you have chosen her, I’m certain she will suit me well,” Judith told him as they started off once again. “Will we truly leave this day?” Hope colored her voice.
“Aye,” he told her as they reached the chamber. “I shall come for you in an hour. Take only what you will need, for we travel with speed. I will not be at ease until we are safely behind the walls of Lilyfare. Your maid and the rest of my men will follow with the remainder of your possessions. I trust you will be comfortable traveling without your maid?” he added, opening the door. “We will likely be on pallets in an abbey or monastery during our journey, or if we are fortunate, one or two nights in a friendly keep.”
“Aye,” she replied, understanding his meaning. They would have no privacy and little comfort for the journey. But she cared not, for she was going home! “I can easily manage without Tabby for a se’ennight or more. And my men? Do you wish for them to stay or accompany us?” she asked, looking up at him from just inside the chamber. “I will order them accordingly.”
Malcolm hesitated. When he spoke, he seemed to choose his words carefully. “We travel lightly and with speed. ’Tis best to have a small but well-armed group for our purposes.”
Judith’s heavy heart lightened even further. Her husband was allowing her to make her own decisions about her men and give her opinions about their journey. “Of course, my lord. I will leave it to you to determine which of my men should travel with us, and which should come with Tabby and the others. Send Holbert to me and I will give him this direction.”
Her husband’s expression relaxed. “Very well. I will return in an hour, Judith. Do not delay.” His eyes flitted over her, and for a moment, Judith thought he might kiss her…but then he turned abruptly and strode down the hall.
She closed the door behind him and turned to find the chamber in disarray, for Tabatha seemed to have upended every one of her trunks into piles on the bed. It took nearly the full allotted hour for Judith and her maid to determine what should leave immediately and what should come later, during which time Holbert arrived as directed. Judith gave him instruction that he was to obey any orders from her husband on this day, and then further direction about how to help Tessing prepare Hecate and the other raptors for travel.
“As for the the two eyases,” she said in hard voice. “I do not believe they will travel well. Make a gift of them to de Rigonier from me.” Better that she never again see the birds which would remind her not only of Piall’s death, but also her ill-fated relationships with Henry and Eleanor.
“Aye, my lady,” Holbert said with a bow, then left.
“Tabatha,” Judith added, turning to her maid, “go you to Lady Maris and return this to her. I am no longer in need of it.” The pouch she handed her maid still contained a fortnight’s supply of the special tea Maris had given her. “And bid my friend farewell, for I do not know whether I will have time to say goodbye before we leave.”
After Tabatha had gone, leaving Judith alone, she surveyed her chamber one last time. Though the court had been here at Clarendon for only six months at this time, the contents of her chamber—which followed her from place to place—had made each location seem the same. Now, she would bid farewell not only to this room, but also her nomadic life of following the queen on her many travels.
Alone and unseen, Judith fairly danced about the chamber, whirling from fireplace to window to bed, and back again. She was going home. She was married. A whole new life was about to begin. She hugged herself, spinning around like a small wooden top as tears of joy and relief filled her eyes. I cannot say farewell to this place soon enough.
When the door opened, she was startled and turned quickly, mortified to be caught in such a ridiculous activity.
Of course it was Malcolm who had to find her thus, and Judith immediately stilled and tried to appear more decorous, surreptitiously wiping at one of the tear streaks on her cheek. But his attention swept over her, and his expression changed from questioning to a dark, irritated one.
“More tears, my lady?” he said enigmatically. “Regardless—your hour is up, my lady,” he continued in a flat voice, as if preparing himself for some argument. “We leave now.”