He chuckled. "I don’t think that will be necessary, young lady."

Carol reached for his hand and pumped it several times. "I can’t tell you how happy you’ve made me."

Still chuckling, the white-haired doctor said, "Tell me the same thing when you’re in labor and I’ll believe you."

Carol watched as Lindy entered the restaurant and paused to look around. Feeling a little self-conscious, she raised her hand. Lindy waved back and headed across the floor, weaving her way through the crowded tables.

"Hi. Sorry, I’m late."

"No problem." The extra time had given Carol a chance to study the menu. Her stomach had been so finicky lately that she had to be careful what she ate. This being pregnant was serious business and already the baby had made it clear "she" wasn’t keen on particular foods – especially anything with tomatoes.

"Everything has been so hectic lately," Lindy said, picking up the menu, glancing at it and setting it aside almost immediately.

"That was quick," Carol commented, nodding her head toward the menu.

"I’m a woman who knows my own mind."

"Good for you," Carol said, swallowing a laugh. "What are you having?"

"I don’t know. What are you ordering?"

"Soup and a sandwich," Carol answered, not fooled. Lindy wasn’t interested in eating, she wanted answers. Steve’s sister had been bursting with questions from the moment they’d met in the Boeing parking lot.

"Soup and a sandwich sounds good to me," Lindy said, obviously not wanting to waste time with idle chitchat.

Shaking her head, Carol studied Lindy. "Okay, go ahead and ask. I know you’re dying to fire away."

Lindy unfolded the napkin and took pains spreading it over her lap. "Steve didn’t come home Christmas Eve---Well, he did, but it was early in the morning, and ever since that night he’s been whistling ‘Dixie’". She paused and grinned. "Yet every time I said your name, he barked at me to mind my own business."

"We’ve seen each other since Christmas, too."

"You have?" Lindy pinched her lips together and sadly shook her head. "That brother of mine is so tight-lipped, I can’t believe the two of us are related!"

Carol laughed. Unwittingly Lindy had pinpointed the crux of Carol and Steve’s marital problems. They were each private people who preferred to keep problems inside rather than talking things out the way they should.

"So you’ve seen Steve since Christmas," Lindy prompted. "He must have contacted you after Rush and I moved."

"Actually I was the one who went to him."

"You did? Great."

"Yes," Carol nodded, blushing a little at the memory of how they’d spent that weekend. "It was great."

"Well, don’t keep me in suspense here. Are you two going to get back together or what?"

"I think it’s the ‘or what.’"

"Oh." Lindy’s gaze dropped abruptly and she frowned. "I don’t mind telling you, I’m disappointed to hear that. I’d hoped you two would be able to work things out."

"We’re heading in that direction, so don’t despair. Steve and I are going to talk about a reconciliation when he returns."

"Oh, Carol, that’s wonderful!"

"I think so, too."

"You two always seemed so right together. The first time I saw Steve after you were divorced, I could hardly recognize him. He was so cynical and unhappy. He’d sit around the apartment and watch television for hours, or stare out the window."

"Steve did?" Carol couldn’t imagine that. Steve always had so many things going – he’d never taken the time to relax when they were living together. Another problem had been that they didn’t share enough of the same interests. Carol blamed herself for that, but she was willing to compromise now that her marriage was about to have new life breathed into it.

"I wasn’t joking when I told you he’s been miserable. I don’t know what prompted you to contact him at Christmastime, but I thank God you did."

Carol smoothed her hand across her abdomen and smiled almost shyly. "I’m glad I did, too."

Steve’s letter to Carol was nearly fifty pages in length now. The days, as they often did aboard a submarine, blended together. It felt as if they were six months into this cruise instead of two, but his eagerness to return to Carol explained a good deal of this interminable feeling.

Carol. His heart felt as though it would melt inside his chest every time he thought about her mentioning a baby. The first thing he was going to do after they’d talked was throw out her birth control pills. And then he was going to take her to bed and make slow, easy love to her.

Once he had her back, he wasn’t going to risk losing her again.

In the past two months, Steve had made another decision. They needed to clear the air about Todd Larson. He’d promised her that he wouldn’t mention the other man’s name again, but he had to, just once, and then it would be finished. Laid to rest forever.

Finding Todd in their shower hadn’t been the only thing that had led Steve to believe Carol and her employer were having an affair. There had been plenty of other clues. Steve just hadn’t recognized them in the beginning.

For one, she’d been working a lot of overtime, and didn’t seem to be getting paid for it. At first Steve hadn’t given it much credence, although he’d been angry that often she couldn’t see him off to sea properly. At the time, however, she’d seemed as sorry about it as he was.

His return home after a ten-week absence had been the real turning point. Until that tour, Carol had always been eager to make love after so many weeks apart. Normally they weren’t in the house ten minutes before they found themselves in the bedroom. But not that time. Carol had greeted him with open arms, but she’d seemed reluctant to hurry to bed. He had gotten what he wanted, but fifteen minutes later she’d made some silly excuse about needing groceries and had left the house.

None of these events had made much sense at the time. Steve had suspected something might be wrong, but he hadn’t known how to ask her, how to approach her without sounding like an insecure schoolboy. Soon afterward he’d flown east for a two-week communication class. It was when he’d arrived home unexpectedly early that he’d found Carol and Todd together.

The acid building up in his stomach seemed to explode with pain and Steve took in several deep breaths until the familiar ache passed. All these months he’d allowed Carol to believe he’d condemned her solely because he’d discovered another man in their home. It was more than that, much more, and it was time he freed his soul.

* * *

"Carol? Are you here?"

Carol remained sitting on the edge of the bathtub and pressed her hand over her forehead. "I’m in here." Her voice sounded weak and sick – which was exactly how she felt. The doctor had given her a prescription to help ease these dreadful bouts of morning sickness, but it didn’t seem to be doing much good.

"Carol?" Once more Lindy’s voice vibrated down the hallway and Carol heard the sound of approaching footsteps. "Carol, what’s wrong? Should I call a doctor?"

"No…no, I’ll be fine in a minute. My stomach has been a little queasy lately, is all."

"You look awful."

"I can’t look any worse than I feel." Her feeble attempt at humor apparently didn’t impress Lindy.

"I take it the sale at the Tacoma Mall doesn’t interest you?"

"I tried to call," Carol explained, "but you’d already left. You go ahead without me."

"I’ll do no such thing," Lindy answered vehemently. "You need someone to take care of you. When was the last time you had a decent meal?"

Carol pressed her hand over her stomach. "Please, don’t even mention food."

"Sorry."

Lindy helped her back into a standing position and led her down the hallway to her bedroom. Carol was ashamed to have Steve’s sister see the house when it looked as if a cyclone had gone through it, but she’d had so little energy lately. Getting to work and home again drained her. She went to bed almost immediately after dinner and woke up exhausted the next morning.

No one had told her being pregnant could be so demanding on her health. She’d never felt more sickly in her life. Her appointment with Dr. Stewart wasn’t for another two weeks, but something had to be done. She couldn’t go on like this much longer.

The April sun seemed to smile down on Steve as he stepped off the Atlantis. He paused and breathed in the glorious warmth of afternoon in the Pacific Northwest. Carol wouldn’t be waiting for him, he knew. She had no way of knowing when he docked.

But she needn’t come to him. He was going to her. The minute he got home, showered and shaved, he was driving over to her house. He was so ready for this.

They were going to talk, make love and get married. Maybe not quite that simply, but close.

He picked up his mail and let himself into the apartment. Standing beside the phone, he listened to the messages on his answering machine. Three were from Lindy, who insisted he call first thing when he returned home.

He reached for the phone while he flipped through his assorted mail.

"You rang?" he asked cheerfully, when his sister answered.

"Steve? I’m so glad you called."

"What’s wrong? Has Rush decided he’s made a terrible mistake and decided to give you back to your dear, older brother to straighten out?" His sister didn’t have an immediate comeback or a scathing reply, which surprised him.

"Steve, it’s Carol."

His blood ran cold with fear. "What happened?"

"I don’t know, but I wanted to talk to you before you went to see her," she said and hesitated. "You were planning on going there right away, weren’t you?"

"Yes. Now tell me what’s the matter with Carol."

"She’s been sick."

"How sick?" His heart was thundering against his chest with worry.

"I… don’t think it’s anything… serious, but I thought I should warn you before you surprise her with a visit. She’s lost weight and looks terrible, and she’ll never forgive you if you show up without warning her you’re in town."

"Has she seen a doctor?"

"I…don’t know," Lindy confessed. "She won’t talk about it."

"What the hell could be wrong?"

The line seemed to vibrate with electricity. "If you want the truth, I suspect she’s pregnant."

Chapter Eight

"Pregnant?" Steve repeated and the word boomeranged against the walls of his mind with such force that the mail he’d been sorting slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. He said it again. "Pregnant. But… but…"

"I probably shouldn’t have said anything." Lindy’s soft voice relayed her confusion. "But honestly, Steve, I’ve been so worried about her. She looks green around the gills and she’s much too thin to be losing so much weight. I told her she should see a doctor, but she just smiles and says there’s nothing to worry about."