From behind me someone called out, “You can do it. Keep going.” I recognized that voice. It felt like the world stopped spinning or some other phenomenon that would explain why I was suddenly dizzy and lost my balance. I braced myself on the back of the seat in front of me. I turned toward the voice behind me.

Jackson.

He winked at me. Then it seemed to register to him that I was standing up. That I was the person who had called out to stop Heath Hall from speaking. He gave me a questioning head tilt. My gaze shot from him to DJ to Robert (still sitting a few rows up from us) and finally to the still-silent Heath Hall. Who was he?

“He’s not any of them,” I whispered to Amelia.

“Huh.” She didn’t seem as concerned about this development as I was. “Back to the drawing board, I guess.”

I sidestepped out of the row, Amelia stage-whispering to me the whole time to stay.

That guy on stage thought I knew him? That’s what he’d said in our chats. Was he about to profess his love to me up there? I couldn’t let that happen. Once I was clear of the seats, I ran out the back door and to Amelia’s car, where I leaned against the bumper and waited for things to make sense or for me to be magically transported out of the parking lot to save me from the humiliation that I was sure was about to occur.

Twenty-Seven

I thought Amelia would come out first to find me, or the masked man, but it was Jackson.

“Hey, Moore. Everything okay?” He slid his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him.

I had never asked him. I’d asked a lot of people if they knew who Heath Hall was, but it occurred to me that I’d never asked him. Why hadn’t I just asked him to save myself from this humiliation? He would’ve told me. He liked me. “You know. Who was that in there on the stage? Who is Heath Hall?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

I pushed away from him, hurt. “You too?” I stood and paced. “Is this all just some big joke to you? Let’s make Hadley look like a fool for fun because my life is only about discovering the ultimate prank? I just want to go home. Why don’t I have a car so I can go home?”

“Because your brother owns your car, and you’re too afraid to confront your parents about it.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t throw my secrets at me when you won’t tell me yours.”

He pressed his palms to his temples, then pointed back at the theater. “I can’t tell you his secret. That’s not mine to tell. Why do you care who he is anyway?”

“Because . . .” I wanted to know who I’d been talking to for the last month, who I’d told things to, who apparently liked me.

“Great reason,” he mumbled.

“I owe you nothing.”

His expression flattened in obvious hurt.

“I’m going home.” I marched back to the theater and found Amelia. The stage was now empty, but people were visiting around the room. Amelia and DJ were still linked by their hands. When had that happened anyway? She’d actually done it, was dating her unattainable crush.

“You should’ve seen that,” Amelia said when I was at her side. “He just told everyone he was gay. He said that saying it out loud with the mask on would give him the courage to do it without the mask soon.”

I stared at the empty stage, confused. Heath Hall didn’t like me? So what did he mean the day before in our chat when he said everyone noticed me? Amelia was staring at me now, concerned. “That’s cool,” I managed to say. And it was cool. I was proud of him.

“It was so inspiring.” Her brain was making some jumps too. “I guess that’s another clue for us.”

“Can you take me home?”

“What? Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I just want to go home.”

Amelia tugged on DJ’s arm. “Sorry. We’ll have to meet up another night.”

“You can go out with DJ. I don’t need you with me. Can you just drop me off?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m going to sleep.”

The whole way home Amelia kept asking me over and over if I wanted her to stay with me. Over and over I assured her that I didn’t.

As we turned onto my street, I asked, “When? You and DJ?” Apparently, I couldn’t speak in complete sentences anymore.

“In the course of me trying to find out if he was Heath Hall yesterday and today.”

“DJ wasn’t on your list!” I said, shocked.

“He wasn’t at first, but then I remembered he was at the pool the first time you saw Heath Hall and he was at the museum that night but we had left him. Then at the bungee jump he had completely disappeared.”

“So you thought it might be him?”

“I did at first, but not after we talked a couple times.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Are you good? Because I can stay.” She stopped in front of my house.

“You will drive me nuts if you stay. You know where the spare key is. Let yourself in later. I’ll be asleep.”

“You’re the best friend ever.”

“I know.”

My plan when I went inside was not to look online. To do just what I said I was going to do and crawl in bed. But it was like a sickness. I couldn’t help myself. After brushing my teeth and changing my button-down blouse for a comfortable T-shirt, I pulled up the one waiting message on my phone. It was from Heath Hall.

You want a car, Moore? Go get your car.

What? Had Jackson taken over Heath Hall’s account? I read the two sentences again. Go get my car? I stood slowly, slipped on a pair of flip-flops, and went outside. Nobody was there. I started to walk back inside when what Jackson had said out in the parking lot came back to me. Your brother owns your car.

My brother’s truck sat like it always did on its raised platform. On the hood I could barely make out a dark object. I slowly approached. It was a black backpack, a long white envelope jutting out of the pocket. On the front of that envelope my first and last name were written in Sharpie. I opened it up and unfolded the single sheet of paper inside.

You were nominated to be Heath Hall by a previous embodiment. The request stated that you were too set on a singular goal. You needed to expand your focus. That need was evaluated and found false. But upon further observation, a different need was discovered. You need to stop trying to make up for the past. Stop competing with the past in a game you can’t win. You need to live in the present and own your place there in the lives of those around you. You need to let go of your fear of acceptance, let people in, and demand what’s yours. You can choose to accept this challenge by completing an act you feel best symbolizes overcoming your fear. You can do it alone or have the group to support you by emailing your act to [email protected]. When the mask has served its purpose or if you choose not to accept this challenge, please return, by way of enclosed lockbox key to the address inside.

I opened the backpack to find the Heath Hall mask.

A need. I now had a need and got to know the secret.

No wonder everyone thought Heath Hall was someone different. He was. He was many different people. One jumped into the pool, another showed his art, another bungee jumped. And tonight, Jackson couldn’t tell me who was on that stage. It wasn’t his secret to tell. But that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was who was behind the private messages. That was Jackson. I looked at the note again. Was this him too? Did the goof-off Jackson organize this device to help people work through their fears? Like Dumbo’s black feather, he had said to me once. I laughed, but then I stopped as I took in my brother’s truck.