“I couldn’t even put this thing on at the lake to face my fear. It’s like I couldn’t even commit to that fear. And even when I do know what I want . . .” He looked at me then. “I’m scared to grab hold of it. I’m scared to say it’s what I want just in case I end up being wrong. So on Saturday, with you, I left at the first sign that you might’ve been calling us off. I acted like it was you throwing walls up when really it was me. As soon as I got home, I knew I’d made a mistake, that I shouldn’t have been a jerk. That your request for space wasn’t about me.” He held up the mask. “This is me saying I’m done being scared. This is me committing to my fears, to my life, to you. I’m holding on to you if you’ll have me.”

I stared at the mask in his hand, at the drink in mine, then looked up at him again. “If this is how you realized you felt this weekend, why didn’t you call me? Text me? Come over?”

“Because one, you asked for space and I was trying to respect that. And two, I got my phone taken away for leaving Saturday morning when I was supposed to be grounded. The only time I could’ve snuck over to your house was after my parents were asleep and I figured you were in big trouble so I didn’t want to make it worse. I’ve been worried about you all weekend.”

It all made sense. But something still didn’t sit right. The thing that had made me think he was walking away for good. “Why did you erase all our chats?”

“What . . . ?” He looked at me, confused for a moment, then realization came over his face. “Oh! Online! I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how that would look. I erased those Friday night when I got home because I’m handing over the mask and social media accounts to Amelia. I didn’t want her to have access to all our private conversations. I saved them all.”

My defenses melted, replaced with sheer relief and happiness. “You saved all the chats?”

He smiled a little. “Of course. You didn’t think I’d save them? I saw you spit a piece of gum in the trash three weeks ago and I saved that.”

I felt the look of disgust on my face before I realized he was joking. I hit his chest. We were good for each other. He saw through the crap other people couldn’t and balanced out my driven personality with his relaxed one.

“Too soon?” he asked.

“No, you timed that one just right. Well, that and you are pretty charming.”

He started to laugh but then realized what I’d said and his smile softened. “Really?”

I nodded. “Yes, really. You were right. I need people in my life.”

“People?”

“You. I need you.”

He smiled. “Same.” His eyes darted to my lips. “I want to kiss you.”

“Then do it.”

“Is that a challenge?”

I shrugged, took a big sip of my drink, and walked away, trying not to laugh.

He cut me off before I’d made it two steps, wrapped one arm around my waist, and pulled me into a kiss.

“You are about to crush my Slurpee,” I said against his lips.

Without pulling away, he took the Slurpee that was smashed between us and dropped it in the trash that happened to be to my left at the end of the row of lockers. I gasped and was about to protest loudly when he covered my mouth with his and pulled me closer.

2 Months Later

I lay on my back in the lake, staring at the sky, which was a clear blue. Lazy clouds drifted by.

“Are you going to swim or play?” Jackson called from his perch on the shore. He held a stopwatch like he was an official trainer and sat in a big-armed camping chair. He was taking upon himself the training for my entry back into swimming. And he was taking it way too seriously.

I stood and tried to splash him but he had sat just outside the splash zone. He was getting smarter. “Play,” I said. “Why don’t you come in with me?”

“Because you’re supposed to be working.”

I had taken a six-week break, doctor’s orders. These last two weeks of swimming had been hard but good. It was hard in that I needed to condition my muscles again but I wasn’t having the same pain in my shoulders that I’d had before. Apparently, the stress really had been messing with my swimming. The stress hadn’t completely disappeared at home. We were all trying to find the right balance. The difference was that we were now talking about it.

“Leave her be,” Amelia said from her towel beside him.

“If you can’t beat the time, Moore, just say so.”

I waded out of the water and onto shore. He knew I was coming for him but he just sat there with a smile on. I sat right on his lap. “I can beat the time. I just need someone to race.”

“If you two are going to be gross, I’m leaving. I’m in mourning. I can’t handle lovey couples right now.”

“I’m sorry about DJ,” I said.

She sighed dramatically. “It was never going to work out anyway. He was fourteen years older than me.”

Jackson gave me his confused face.

“College years are like dog years,” I whispered.

He still didn’t seem to get it but, like he often did, accepted that Amelia and I spoke our own language sometimes. He pushed me up and stood. “I’ll race you, Moore, if you’re prepared to lose again.” He took off his shirt and jogged into the lake.

Before joining him, I glanced at Amelia. “You going to be okay?”

“I’m fine. I got another Heath Hall nominee. I need to research him and see if he’s a good candidate for facing his supposed fear.”

“Anyone fun?”

“Hadley, I can’t tell you who. That would break my vow to the mask.” She was taking her job seriously and I was happy. It had kept her busy since she and DJ called it off a few weeks before.

“Well, I have a boy to humble.” I nodded toward the lake. “I’ll be back after I finish beating him.”

“Watch out, I hear he’ll do anything to win,” she said.

I laughed. “He will.”

Jackson smiled at me as I walked into the water. “You ready to be taught a thing or two about swimming, Moore?”

I splashed him and he grabbed my wrists and pulled me into a hug.

“We’re working, not playing,” he said, his lips on my ear.

“Since when?”

He picked me up, spun me around, and threw me. Then he took off at a sprint toward the end mark.

I just laughed. Not even with a head start would he beat me. I dived under the water and swam as hard as I could. The water was cold, but it felt like endless possibilities as it flowed between my fingers. I felt free.