What If It's Us Page 54

“I brought sparkling cider,” Juliet says.

“Yes! Let’s get fucked up,” Arthur says.

“There’s no alcohol. We’re not getting drunk with you. Did you not hear us yesterday?” Namrata shakes her head. “We’re only here for a few minutes. We just couldn’t let you be alone on your birthday.” She peeks into the living room. “Which you’re clearly not. Your mom knows about this, right?”

“She knows . . . people are here.”

“We’re so fired,” Namrata says. “We were never here.”

Arthur holds out his phone at selfie length. “Smile!”

Namrata and Juliet do not smile.

Arthur and I go into the kitchen and grab eight glasses for this one bottle of cider. Not a lot to go around, but there’s enough to toast to his birthday and sip away. Dylan takes the empty cider bottle and tries to get a game of spin the bottle going, and literally no one else wants to play.

Juliet taps Arthur’s shoulder to give him a hug. “Arthur, we have to go before we’re late for the party.”

“But we’re so happy your birthday made a turn for the better,” Namrata says.

“Wait. You can’t go. There’s a cake,” I say.

“There is?!” Arthur asks.

“Stay and sing happy birthday?” I ask them.

Namrata and Juliet nod.

Dylan and Samantha help me out in the kitchen. I’m carrying the cake as we reenter the room and everyone starts singing “Happy Birthday.” On top of the chocolate cake, vanilla frosting spells Do Not Throw Away Your Wish. Arthur looks around, and we smile for a photo while the cake is still lit. I’m so happy I had a role in flipping this birthday around. I mean, I kind of ruined it in the first place. But I got this ship sailing again, and that’s what Arthur will hopefully remember no matter what happens between us.

Arthur finally blows out the candles.

“What’d you wish for?” I ask.

“Can’t say. But I did not throw away my wish.”

“Hamilton tickets before you leave?”

“Hamilton tickets before I leave.”

“I can’t believe they showed up,” Arthur says as he comes back into the living room after saying goodnight to Namrata and Juliet. He settles back on the floor next to me, plates of half-eaten cake at our feet. “I knew they liked me.” He gestures at all of us. “I still can’t believe you’re all here. Everyone’s faces have been the best surprises today.”

“You win Best Birthday Plot Twist for sure,” I say. No one deserves a birthday party with all his favorite people more than Arthur. He always goes extra for everyone, and it’s about time everyone goes extra for him. He has me making things right. Dylan and Samantha coming straight from the hospital. Ethan and Jessie flying from Georgia. Namrata and Juliet popping in to prove he’s not just the boss’s kid.

“Now it’s a triple date,” Dylan says. “I have an idea.”

“No you don’t,” I say.

“Why yes I do.”

“If it’s sexual, just don’t.”

Dylan grins. “Maybe we should have a six-way—”

“Dylan!”

“—wedding,” Dylan finishes. “Six-way wedding since we have three couples. Get your mind out of the gutter, Big Ben.” He rolls his eyes at Samantha, who’s busy rolling her eyes at him. “Hey, future wife, you’re the one who made the future-husband comment. You know what you’ve gotten yourself into. I will always love you and I will always hate your coffee.”

Samantha shakes her head with a smile. “Let’s talk about ‘always’ later. It’s Arthur’s birthday right now.”

“Agreed,” I say.

“I’m just saying,” Dylan says. “This is huge. Three couples in one room. This feels like the Fellowship of the Wedding Rings.”

“His parents met when they were young, and they’re still married today,” I explain to Ethan and Jessie so they’re caught up on why Dylan is the way he is when it comes to love. I turn back to Dylan. “Doesn’t mean everyone else is excited to talk about the future.” I grab Arthur’s hand. “Some of us want to live in our moment.” In our do-over.

“You’re going to have a lifetime of moments,” Dylan says. “It’s you guys! Arthur and Ben! You defied the odds. This is that Hollywood love. I have no doubts about you two. Distance be damned.” He points at Jessie and Ethan. “You guys seem tight. Just don’t pull a Ben and Hudson and ruin the squad.”

“Pretty sure you and Harriett ruined the squad first,” I say.

Dylan waves me off. “Details.”

“It’s something we talked about, obviously,” Jessie says. “But what were we going to do, not give it a shot? We didn’t just wake up one day with feelings.”

“Definitely not,” Ethan says.

“But we had an opening and we took it. Maybe we’ll regret it down the line, but I doubt it. We’ve known each other forever. There’s no throwing away that friendship.”

I hope some of this relieves Arthur. That when he goes home, he won’t have to constantly freak out about his squad disbanding.

“Do you guys regret dating your friends?” Ethan asks.

“Yup, sure do,” Dylan says without missing a beat.

“You do?” I ask.

“A good thing got ruined for something that went nowhere. Maybe if I’d known Harriett for as long as these two have known each other, it would’ve been different.”

“Yeah, but I knew Hudson for even shorter and . . .” I’m nervous about where this conversation is going.

“Do you regret Hudson?” Arthur asks.

“I miss my friends,” I say. “It’s not like I need Hudson and Harriett here right now. But I don’t want it to be such a ridiculous thought. They were our best friends, and everything feels so split up. Like I can never hang out with Harriett without it feeling weird for Hudson or Dylan. Hudson and Dylan can’t clown around. I can’t hang alone with Hudson without that awkwardness in the air. No more hanging out just to hang out.”

“But do you regret dating Hudson?” Arthur asks. “You can be honest. It’s okay.”

“I don’t regret dating Hudson,” I say. I felt differently a few weeks ago. I would’ve kept the truth a secret back then too. But Arthur gets all my honesty. “It’s like Ethan and Jessie. And Dylan and Harriett. We had to try. What if it had been awesome? It wasn’t, but what if it had been? We would’ve never known. And I’m who I am today because I dated Hudson. I’m the guy you like because I dated Hudson. Who you met because I dated him and broke up with him.”

“Cheers to Hudson,” Dylan says, raising a glass. No one moves. “Too much?”

I gesture at Dylan’s entire being. “Blanket yes. Too much.” I turn back to Arthur. “I had to answer that what-if question with Hudson. Just like we answered our own.”

“No regrets there either?” Arthur asks.

“There’s nothing to regret,” I say.

“Not yet,” Arthur says.

“Not ever,” I say, wrapping my arm around his shoulders.

If I don’t regret Hudson, there’s no way I could ever regret Arthur. I just have no idea what our next chapters look like. What kind of ending we need to brace ourselves for.

It’s getting late, so we’re figuring out sleeping arrangements. Arthur’s dad was expecting Jessie to take Arthur’s bed, for Arthur to stay in his uncle’s bed, and Ethan to camp out in the living room. This is clearly not happening anymore. Ethan and Jessie are already in pajamas on the foldout couch. Dylan is dragging Samantha into his shameless world and taking Milton’s room. And I’ll be with Arthur in his room. Finally alone.

If Dylan ever leaves.

“This room is adorable,” Dylan says when it’s just the three of us in Arthur’s room. “Which bunk do you sleep on?”

“I’m always on the bottom,” Arthur says, fitting new sheets onto the mattress.