Thick as Thieves Page 179

 

Costis approached slowly, careful to scuff a little as he stepped. He didn’t want to startle the king.

“Costis,” said Eugenides, without turning around, “I should have realized they would drag you out of bed. I apologize.”

He swung around then with a little stagger that made Costis’s heart leap into his throat.

Head down, swinging the wineskin by the leather thong at its neck, the king walked along the crenellation. Costis paced beside him.

“Your Majesty, please get down,” Costis said hurriedly. The king was almost at the end of the crenellation, and he dreaded what would happen when he got there.

“Why? Costis, I’m not going to fall.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Not that drunk,” said the king. “Watch.” He tossed the wineskin to Costis, who caught it and clutched it in horror as the king turned himself upside down and balanced, one hand on the narrow ridge of the stone.

“Oh, my god,” said Costis.

“O my god,” said the king, cheerfully. “You want to call on the god appropriate to the occasion. After all, your god would probably be Miras, light and arrows and all that sort of thing, whereas my god is a god of balance and, of course, preservation of Thieves, which I suppose, technically, I am not.” He straightened up. “Maybe I shouldn’t push my luck,” he said.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Costis said faintly. “Your god might be offended.”

“Costis, my god is not a ten-devotee-to-the-average-dozen, got-a-priest-on-every-corner kind of god who is always being badgered by his worshipers. He keeps a very close eye on me, and what may look completely stupid to you is merely a demonstration of my faith. Give me back my wine.”

Remembering the way the king’s cousin had dealt with him, Costis held out the wineskin. The king reached for it, but he guessed Costis’s intent and pulled his hand back before Costis could catch him to yank him to safety. The king laughed like a little boy and windmilled his arms for balance.

“Costis,” he said with mocking disappointment, “that’s cheating.”

“I don’t know what you mean, sir.”

“I am not sure I trust you.”

“You can trust me with your life, My King.”

“But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back.”

“Get down and make me.”

The king laughed again. “Aulus would be so proud of you, and Ornon, too. You are a quick learner.”

But Costis didn’t have Aulus’s size, or his history with the king, and Aulus had been dealing with a very sick, bedridden Eugenides. Costis had none of his advantages.

The king chuckled in the dark, a warm sound that Costis couldn’t help responding to, though he was immediately exasperated with himself as well as the king.

“I’ve been thinking. Don’t you want to know what I have been thinking about?”

“Only if you are thinking about getting down,” said Costis, his exasperation showing.

“Is this a sense of humor, Costis?”

“I do have one, Your Majesty.”

“Good for you,” said the king. He started to walk back the way he had come. Costis followed, still clutching the wineskin.

“Your Majesty, please get down. My friend Aris is really a very good man, and if you fall off that wall, he’s going to hang for it, and so will his squad, most of whom are also nice men, and though I can’t say I really care if your attendants hang, there are probably many people that do care, and would you please, please, get down?”

The king looked at him, eyes narrowed. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that many words in a row. You sounded almost articulate. I was thinking of Nahuseresh,” said the king, getting back to his subject. He looked over his shoulder at Costis. “Do you know, you can’t strangle a man with one hand?” he said very seriously. “It’s probably why I have only one. It narrows one’s options. I may make a poor king with one hand, but the gods know I’d be no king at all if I had two.”

“Your Majesty . . .”

The king rubbed his hand over his face. “And I was just thinking of you, and here you are, you poor silly bastard, trying to tell me to get down off this wall.”

He swung around again, walked the length of the crenellation, and before Costis had time to draw breath to protest, he hopped neatly to the next.

“You present me with a difficulty, Costis, as I owe you something better than what you are in line for now—death by falling roof tile.”

Diverted, Costis said, “That was an accident,” and reconsidered even as he spoke. The old broken tiles could easily have been scattered on the ground beforehand. Broken roof tiles were easy to come by in every trash pile around the palace.

The king turned his whole body to look at Costis, swaying for a moment before he balanced.

“How did you know about the roof tiles?” Costis asked.

“I am omniscient, I know everything. Or at least I did before I had to tow four attendants, a squad of guards, a guard leader, and a stray lieutenant around behind me wherever I go. To be honest,” the king admitted, “I didn’t know. You just told me. All I had was an educated guess because it’s a fairly common form of assassination. There’s the true course of political savvy for you, good guesses. Tell me, in the course of your blundering innocence, have you noticed any other attempts on your life?”

Costis thought a moment. “Yes,” he said, hesitantly, “maybe.” He convinced himself—surprised at how little effort it took. “Yes.”

“Yes,” agreed the king. “It’s a dangerous thing to be seen as the confidant of a king. Knife fights in wineshops, aggressive drunks, and a stray arrow at the butts. Any others?”

“Are those guesses, too?” Costis stared in disbelief.

“No.”

“You are omniscient.”

The king shook his head. “I asked Relius for the names of two competent men to keep an eye on you. I couldn’t keep you in the guardroom for the rest of your natural life. And you, you stupid bastard, had already wandered away once and gotten under a load of roof tiles.”

“What men?”

“You met one after the knife fight in front of the wineshop.”

Costis remembered the stranger.

“Their powers are limited, however. They can watch, but sometimes there’s not a damn thing they can do. It was just luck the arrow missed you. So, so, so,” said the king. “I had hoped that your very obvious outrage at being dropped like a used glove would have protected you, but obviously it hasn’t.

“I could hide you in the hinterlands, but frankly, I don’t know enough people that I trust in Attolia. I could call on my cousin who is Eddis and ask her to hide you, but even more frankly, I will admit that having to do so would be embarrassing.” He looked over at Costis and said, “I hate being embarrassed.” He rubbed his side, and Costis knew he was thinking of Sejanus. “I saw him on that balcony, and I sat there like an idiot wondering what he was doing.” He shook his head in self-disgust and moved along the wall. Costis followed after him.

“I hope you know that I could once jump from the palace to those roofs over there.” He eyed the empty space below him and said sadly, “If I tried now, I’d probably eviscerate myself when I landed. But it does give me an idea for what to do with you. In the morning I will tell Teleus that I am detaching you from the Guard. You won’t like it,” he informed Costis unsympathetically, “but then, you shouldn’t have hit me in the face . . . all those many lifetimes ago.”