“You of all people should know what it feels like to want to be given another chance, Derek. You’ve had your share of regrets, your own dance with the dark side. Sofia forgave you. Why wouldn’t she be able to forgive me? I’m still her mother. And Aiden… I still have hope that he could find it in his heart to love me.”

Even as I said the words, I was swallowing back the urge to vomit. I hated Sofia for what she did to Borys. And Aiden… as much as I loved him, I had no delusions that he could ever love me back. He loved Sofia too much to ever even entertain it and the idea of going to the lowest lengths in order to woo him back as Camilla made me sick to my stomach.

“What game are you playing, Ingrid?” Derek seemed unconvinced. Even I couldn’t believe the crap that was coming out of my mouth.

“I’m not playing games, Derek. Just please… ask Sofia. She’ll understand. She’ll listen…”

“If you do anything to hurt Sofia or even Aiden, I swear, Ingrid…”

“Save the threats, Derek. Really… Ask yourself what else you can do to me that you haven’t already done? I have nothing left for you to take. Except maybe my life and that’s something I would willingly lose. After all, what do I have to live for? After losing Borys, the only family I have left is Aiden and Sofia. If they don’t take me back, then perhaps you’re right. It’s better for me to die.”

Derek gave me a long, perusing glare and nodded. “Fine. I’ll let Sofia know. Don’t make me regret this, Ingrid.”

I hated to make the request, but I knew that I had to. It was necessary in order for me to completely let go of who I was. “Please…” I hesitantly said, my voice breaking even as I said the words, “I’d like to be called Camilla from now on.”

At that, Derek scoffed and mumbled, “Sure you do,” before walking away.

I felt emptiness unlike anything I’d ever felt before. I asked myself why I was even doing this and was startled to find that there was still a hint of nobility left in me. I realized that I would rather lose Ingrid Maslen than allow the Elder to end Aiden’s life.

No matter how I tried, I still couldn’t stop loving Aiden Claremont.

Chapter 11: Sofia

“Why the heck not?” Ashley asked, a playful pout forming on her lips. “You and Derek are practically married already.”

We were having lunch at The Catacombs and I’d just asked the girls what they thought about Derek and me getting married. As expected, unlike my father, both of them were ecstatic, squealing with delight like the teenagers that we were.

“What do you think, Rosa?” I asked.

Rosa smiled, her cheeks taking on a pink blush. “It’s bound to happen, Sofia. Why not now?”

I bit my lip before confessing, “I’m hesitant to be honest…”

Ashley’s eyes widened with surprise. “Why?”

“Our relationship has been struggling lately. I mean, yes, we have our good times… I don’t know if it’s just me, but there’s this gap between us that I can’t quite figure out. It’s almost like Derek is distancing himself from me and… I just… I don’t understand why I feel this way. Perhaps it’s just the familiarity?”

Ashley rolled her eyes and smiled at me. “Well, what did I just say? Didn’t I tell you? You’re like a married couple already… You’re talking like you’ve been married to him for five years and you’re looking for that spark you used to have…”

“Sofia,” Rosa interrupted. “Whatever your choice is, marry him or don’t marry him, you do know that we’re going to support you, right? Go for what you feel is right…”

Truth be told, after my conversation with my father, I’d actually already made up my mind. I was just having trouble figuring out how I was going to tell Derek. To my surprise, I saw his well-built form taking several strides toward me. A huge smile was on his handsome face.

“You look like you just won the lottery, Novak,” Ashley piped up.

“Maybe I just did,” Derek quipped before leaning forward and kissing me passionately.

I was so shocked by the gesture; I just kept my mouth hanging open when our lips finally parted.

This seemed to amuse him, his bright blue eyes twinkling. “Have I told you lately how much I adore you, Sofia Claremont?”

“So, this is you lacking intimacy?” Ashley eyed me questioningly and I found myself blushing.

Derek took the seat next to mine and placed his arm over my shoulder. He then turned a questioning glare at me. “You told her we were lacking intimacy?”

I closed my mouth and bit my lip. “Well, not really… I was just…”

I was expecting him to be offended, but it seemed he was in too light a mood to care. Instead, he gave me a naughty look and said, “It doesn’t matter. I can fix that.” He then kissed me once again, leaving me quite breathless, but totally aware of my friends’ hoots and cheers. Derek still had that wide grin on his face as he watched my cheeks redden. “I can’t wait for you to become Mrs. Sofia Novak.”

I was speechless. What is going on with him? The way he was acting was making me feel even guiltier about having second thoughts about pushing through with our wedding. “Are you feeling sick, Derek?” I eventually managed to say, as I laid the back of my hand over his forehead to check his temperature. Chilly as usual.

“I’m fine.” He took hold of my hand and squeezed tight. “I cleared out the rest of the day. Vivienne is on top of everything. Come with me.”

I glanced at my half-finished plate of food and then at my two girlfriends. Both seemed eager to see me leave with Derek. I honestly couldn’t wait to spend time with him, so I nodded and looked his way. That was all he needed to see before he held me by the waist and told me to hold on to him tight. He then sped his way out of The Catacombs until we reached the Pavilion.

All of The Shade’s vampires lived at the Residences, located in the northwest area of the island. The Residences were villas or even huts situated on top of networks of trees. Of the Residences, the most lavish were the homes of the Elite, called the Penthouses. Each penthouse was built on top of giant redwoods and usually reached a span of at least eight redwood trees, depending on the size of the clan occupying the penthouse.

Of all the Elite’s penthouses, however, there were four that occupied twenty redwood trees. These four penthouses were called the Pavilion and home to the Novaks, The Shade’s royalty. Since Gregor and Lucas Novak’s deaths, their penthouses had been given to Cameron and Liana Hendry and Eli and Yuri Lazaroff as a reward for their loyal service to the Novaks and The Shade throughout the centuries.

It was to the Pavilion that Derek brought me. Its wide veranda was home to a view that never failed to take my breath away. As we stared at the magnificent view of the island, illuminated by the moon’s soft light, Derek pulled my back against his chest, his hands rubbing against my waist and my hips.

“I love your warmth,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion. “I love you, Sofia.”

I wondered what was going through his mind and what could’ve brought about this mood of his. I didn’t want to ask, afraid that it might spoil the moment, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss away.

“I love you too. You know that, don’t you?”

I could feel him nod, his lips pressing against the back of my head.

I couldn’t help but smile as a wave of nostalgia came over me. “We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?” I found myself asking, memories in The Shade – both good and bad – suddenly replaying through my mind. One memory in particular came at the forefront. The Sun Room.

During my first months in The Shade, I was mostly known as Derek’s favorite slave. For my own protection, I wasn’t allowed to leave his penthouse unguarded. Of course, the girls and I found ourselves bored out of our minds so I took on a pet project. Derek allowed me to turn one of the rooms in his penthouse to whatever I wanted to make of it.

I turned it into the Sun Room. The memory of the first time he saw it was still fresh on my mind.

“So you did this?” He looked around the room, a mural of a beautiful sandy beach painted on one wall, large mirrors on the other walls to make the room brighter and reflect the light projected by the recessed LED lights on the ceiling and the walls. At the center of the ceiling was a sunroof, mostly composed of LED lights over a glass window, creating the illusion of sunlight streaming through the room.

We chose lawn furniture that would create the feeling of being outdoors.

I smiled at Derek. “It wasn’t just me. Vivienne was more than happy to get us everything we needed. The girls and Sam and Kyle helped too. I guess it’s not just you who misses sunlight, so thanks for giving me the idea.”

To my surprise, he gently pulled me against him. He took my arms and laid them over his shoulders and around his neck. He then held my waist and led me to a slow dance.

“There’s no music,” I reminded him.

He grinned. “In my head, Sofia, there’s always music.”

I found the thought funny. “That must be interesting. It’s like you always come with your own background music.”

He nodded, smiling down at me. “Exactly.”

He then pulled me closer and placed a soft kiss over my forehead. His kiss then fell on my cheek, then to the corner of my lips. I knew he was going to kiss me, and if I were to be honest with myself, I wanted it to happen, but I pulled away.

“I’m sorry... I… I can’t.”

I was expecting him to ask why or assert himself and insist.

Instead, he just nodded and looked away from me. “I understand.”

Derek could have demanded that kiss from me, but he waited – the same way he waited for me to be ready to get engaged to him, the same way he was waiting to marry me before we could make love, the same way he waited for me to agree to turn into a vampire. He never forced me into anything until I was ready. I wondered then if he could wait a little bit more before we could get married.