I couldn’t shake off the anger I felt toward myself as everyone present was given lanterns in order to release into the cold night air. I should’ve been there. I could’ve saved her. But I wasn’t there. I was too busy protecting The Shade, I was unable to protect my sister.

As I stared at the lantern I was holding in my hand, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of pain at what it represented. Vivienne had always been particularly fond of lanterns. It felt like letting go of the lantern would mean letting go of her.

Sofia was standing a few steps away from me, her eyes downcast as she held the lantern in her hands. I wondered what was going on in her mind as she began to whisper something toward the lantern. I strained to hear what she was saying:

“Wherever you are, Vivienne, I hope you’re alright.”

After we let go of the lanterns, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Sofia. I realized then that I had no idea what I would’ve done without her. Over the past few days since she got back, she’d once again taken on the guise of my slave, even though she was anything but. She was the only person keeping me sane.

I bridged the gap between us and admired the mixture of sorrow and fascination on her face as the lanterns rose up into the starlit sky. Noticing my eyes on her, she looked at me and gave me a sorrowful smile. Her delicate fingers gently brushed against my arm before her hand found mine. She squeezed tight – her way of saying she was right there for me.

Indifferent to what anyone around us would say, I placed my arm over her shoulder and pressed my lips against her temple. I then whispered into her ear, “I can’t begin to explain to you how much it means to me that you’re here.”

She gently caressed the hand I had above her shoulder before her eyes focused on the lanterns rising up to dot the night sky. “I’m sorry you lost Vivienne, Derek.”

Lost Vivienne. The words were painful. The thought of being alone that night seemed more than I could bear. “Stay with me tonight, Sofia.”

With Lucas no longer a threat, she’d been staying in one of the spare bedrooms in my apartment since she arrived. Paige and Rosa had already moved back into my penthouse to accompany her. They’d been asking me about what was to happen to Ashley, but I couldn’t even bring myself to think of the girl.

“Derek…” Her face paled at what she knew I was suggesting – that she stay in my bedroom like she used to.

The hesitation she had over my request was understandable. The girls were giving her a hard time over her loyalty to me, but I wanted to be around her. I craved her warmth. She was healing balm to the wound Vivienne’s disappearance left behind.

“Sofia, please…” I could’ve just demanded it of her. I was still prince of The Shade and in the eyes of everyone else, she was still my slave, but her approval of me mattered – perhaps more than it should. Nothing else pleased me more than the idea of her being with me out of her own choice.

She turned her gaze from the night sky to me before exhaling. She nodded. “Okay.”

The memorial dragged on… Pleasant words were given in memory of Vivienne. When I was asked to speak, I refused. I didn’t want to even think about the loss I was suffering, much less talk about it. I was relieved when it was all over. I left with Sofia as soon as I could. I didn’t want to stick around for condolences.

That night, I found that the only source of solace I had was Sofia. Her kisses, her whispers of comfort, her smile, her arms around me and the warmth she exuded… For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to become vulnerable in front of someone else. Holding Sofia in my arms, I broke down, and she didn’t say anything to console me. She didn’t have to and somehow she knew it. She just held me close.

When sleep finally stole her attention away from me, I stared into her peaceful, sleeping form and allowed myself to entertain a thought of Vivienne – just enough so I could thank my dear sister for paying the ultimate price in order to give me Sofia.

CHAPTER 41: SOFIA

I woke up to find him staring at me. Waking up next to him felt right in a way it never did waking up next to Ben. I eased myself into his arms. I’d found his chest comfortable enough to be my pillow during the night. I smiled. It was the first time I could remember that a nightmare didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night.

“I’m sorry you had to see me that way…” I never thought I’d see him look so embarrassed.

It took a moment for it to register what he was apologizing for. I shook my head and snuggled closer to him. “Don’t be, Derek. You never have to pretend around me.”

I could swear I felt his heart quicken a beat. His arms around me tightened. We lay there comfortably for a few more minutes before we fell into routine. I noted the ease we had about us as we both got dressed. I’d forgotten how natural it came to us – being around each other. We just knew how to move, how to act, when to stay out of each other’s private spaces and when to move in.

Something, however, changed in our routine. After we got dressed, I often went to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast. Often, a glass of blood would already be waiting for him on the dining table. That much didn’t change. What changed, however, was the fact that he actually started talking to me – and not just about mundane things that didn’t really matter, but about how he was going to spend the day, what his plans were for The Shade… things that I never was privy to when I was still his “personal slave”.