Break Me Page 90

Cap chuckles, but levels me with a steady glare. “Say it out loud, brother. Make it real. Take what’s yours. She wants you to, and Bass? He needs you to, even if he doesn’t realize it yet.”

I pull in a full, aching breath of air and nod. “I got you, Cap.”

I turn and walk closer to Bishop.

He spots me in his peripheral and pulls a smoke from his pocket and up to his mouth.

I leave him to light the thing, wait for him to pull in a hit and as he does, his head drops back with a sigh. “She’s fragile, man. You’ll destroy her.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I laugh, but there ain’t a damn thing funny. “That I didn’t warn her, fight this all the fucking way? Because I did. You can ask her all about it and you’ll hate the shit she shares. I pushed, and pushed again, and that fragile girl, she wouldn’t hear it. Doesn’t accept it. I’m telling you, Bishop, she’s stronger than you know, tougher than I ever could have thought, and not like me, not with her fists or body. With her fucking spirit. And mind. And everything in between.”

He looks away, steadies himself and when his eyes come back, they’re hardened. “I want to take her with me.”

“Well, you’re too late and too fucking bad,” I shout. “Where you been the last four years? Do you have any fucking clue what she’s been going through?”

He shifts, facing me fully, and getting angry all over again. “Don’t question me when it comes to my sister. I love her more than anything. More than anyone!”

“Not more than me!” I hit my chest. Fuck, man.

Fuck this.

I dart forward and his eyes narrow farther.

“I love her more than anyone has ever loved a soul. So much so I don’t even own mine anymore. She does. She said she’s inside me, and she was right. Every fucking bone in my body aches for her. I ain’t afraid to admit anymore that I will be nothing, fucking nothing, without her. I worship that girl.”

“Fucking funny from the guy trying to drive her away,” he seethes.

I get in his face, and fuck if the deeper truth doesn’t come up like vomit.

“All she ever wanted in her life is her family back, the one fucking person who protected her all her life, who stood with her. The brother she took beatings for—yeah, that happened, and you didn’t even fuckin’ know—the brother she’d do anything for if asked, and you’re gonna fucking ask, Bishop. You’re gonna ask, and in the end, she might just go, ‘cause you are the one she’s been waiting for. You’re her fucking family.” I swallow, taking slow steps back. “I was nothin’ but the stand-in.”

He curses under his breath, then forces his gaze to mine. “Tell me, Brayshaw, would you jump in front of a bullet for her?”

“And make sure it stopped on me.”

He blanches, smashing his lips together, his nostrils flaring. “She told you.”

“About the car, about the bullet, and the life you promised and never delivered on.” His eyes narrow. “She didn’t see it like that, not until she came across your busted-ass Cutlass and realized you weren’t even here. That’s the only reason she came here, by the way. She didn’t do it to disobey or because I forced her. It had nothing to do with me. She came for you.”

He scoffs, but it’s broken. “Yeah, and why’d she stay after that, huh? Why not call me, confront me?”

“I’m bettin’ she did, asshole. Maybe not to call your ass out, but I know she fucking called.”

He grinds his jaw.

“Ain’t it fuckin’ obvious? It’s because she loves you, and she was afraid of what you might say. Because she likes it here, and she scared herself when she realized she could be happy in a place you didn’t exist. She saw for the first time all she knew wasn’t all there was. She had more to offer, more to gain.”

He swallows. “She was supposed to live a healthy, happy life. A normal fucking life.”

“She’s half you, man.” I shrug and his eyes cut to mine. “She ain’t fuckin’ normal. She’s meant for more.”

He runs his hands down his face.

“Fuck, man,” he groans. “For real?” His arms fall to his side. “This is for real?”

He stalks over, planting his feet directly in front of mine, and glares. “You love her, completely? Down to your black ass fucking core? Enough to give up everything else, everyone else?”

“I see nothing else. I told you, there’s nothing left inside me that’s mine. I’m made up of her and not a damn thing else.” I take a deep breath, but it never reaches my lungs. “But I won’t make her choose between me and her family. I want her happy, and she’ll resent me later if I do. I can’t live with that.”

“So you’ll put her safety above everything, above what you want, and let her go when it’s time for us to leave, if she asked you to?” He eyes me.

It’s as if he’s knocked me in the chest with a two by fucking four.

My body, I fall backward, bumping into a picnic table behind me.

It takes some effort, and my head won’t lift, but my eyes do, locking on to his.

My vision fogs, the muscles in my jaw flexing.

My baby girl.

My tiny Tink.

I choke on nothing, my eyes blurred, and I shake my head. “No. I won’t let her go. I can’t.” Fuck, if she chooses to leave, that gives me only one option. I look to my brother a few feet away, and my features pull tight. “I’ll have no choice but to go with her.”

Bass jerks back, a cracked breath huffs from him and he spins around, his hands coming up to fold over his hair.

“Damn you, Brayshaw.” His head falls, his resistant response directed toward the sky. “You had to go and fall in love with my sister.”

I breathe a little easier.

He’s getting it—this shit’s real.

He groans, straightens, and faces me. “As much as I hate to fucking admit it, I know you. I know the way you work, and I know your strength.” He licks his lips. “If there is anyone in this fucking world that can protect my sister like me, better than me, it’s you.”

My heart hammers beneath my ribs, so hard he must hear it. “I said I won’t make her choose.”

“Don’t kid yourself, man. She already did,” he says quietly. “I didn’t ask her permission, I told her she was leaving with me, and my sister flat-out refused. She refused to leave you.”

The weight of a thousand pounds both falls and lifts over me, sinks my stomach only to feed my soul. “I fucking love her. I’ll never stop.”

“Yeah, man,” he grumbles. “I’m getting that.”

I look to Captain, to Maddoc who has suddenly appeared, at the taut expression he wears.

The fear I feel, the pain I let in, the possibility of tomorrow, and every emotion in between, it flows through them too.

I feel, they feel.

They want this for me, for us.

The final loop.

The calm for our storms.

None of us have it, the purity she brings.

The strength she’ll give and not just me, but all of us.

We’re the five points of the star, and she’s the circle that’ll seal us in.