Mistletoe and Mr. Right Page 48
At her murmured thanks, Rick headed into the kitchen and fixed her the tea she’d asked for. By the time he returned, she’d snuggled into his blankets so deeply, only her eyes and nose were visible.
Since Lana’s toes were tucked beneath her, Rick sat on the ottoman, arms resting on his knees as he faced her. She was still wearing his jacket, and only now did he realize he was pretty cold himself. Nothing worth mentioning, but still. The heat from the fire felt good on his shoulder. And when his hands had warmed enough, he took her still ice-cold ones in his own, helping her steady the shaking as she drank her tea.
“Do you want another cup?” he asked, watching her drain the mug like it wasn’t burning hot on her tongue.
“Thank you. Are you mad?” At his raised eyebrow, Lana said, “You seem mad at me.”
“I’m not. I’m mad at me.”
This time, she was the one to raise an eyebrow.
“I promised I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you today,” he said tightly. “Instead, I wasn’t by your side when you needed me.”
“I’m pretty sure I remember you jumping in the water too.”
“Only because my incredibly brave date jumped first.” Holding her hands and her gaze, Rick told her in a quiet voice, “You saved someone today, Lana. I am so incredibly proud of you, I can’t see straight. But I’m ready to drag you to the hospital at the first sign of a sneeze.”
“Don’t worry, dearest. Montgomerys never sneeze.” She offered him a sweet, tired smile. “Now where are we on that second cup of tea?”
* * *
She was roasting alive.
At some time in the night, cold had turned to comfy and comfy to warm. They were way past the point of warm, and Lana could feel sweat beading down between her shoulder blades, along her spine, and behind her knees.
“I’m stuck.” That came out far more plaintive than she’d intended.
Rick had been dozing next to her chair, his voice husky with sleep as he woke and helped her pull away the top blanket. “I had to make sure you didn’t go back to work.”
“I’m a person lasagna. Too many layers.”
“I don’t know,” he rumbled. “I’ve always kind of liked lasagna.”
“Even when lasagna was being stubborn?”
“Especially when lasagna was being stubborn.” His strong hands slid into her hair, now damp from sweat. “It’s my favorite part about lasagna.”
Oh. Well, that was nice.
“Thank you again for saving me,” Lana said softly. “You jumped in the water for me.”
“You jumped in the water for us,” he reminded her gently. She could see him hesitate, but the words he always kept inside for the first time came to his tongue. “I thought I was going to lose you. It would take a hell of a lot more than a cold swim to stop me.”
“She had no idea what she left, did she? Your ex was insane.”
His jaw rippled, and then he brushed his thumb down the side of her cheek in wordless question. Lana leaned in, because she didn’t think she could find it in herself to stay strong anymore.
Whatever this was, it had always burned hotter than a stove and too many blankets. But the heat was more than what she could handle right then. Somehow, he understood, and when Rick lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the blanket-stripped bed, the look in his eyes tempered that fire.
It had been so long, and it had been for him too. Lana didn’t know what she’d expected, but when he reached for her, she had already reached for him. In the darkness of a room lit only by the stove’s glowing embers, Lana closed her eyes and finally found peace.
Chapter 14
For the first time in a long time, Rick didn’t wake up in his bed alone.
Half of the bed wasn’t cold. His arms weren’t empty. A knee was dangerously close to his groin. He wasn’t sure what had roused him, but the clock on the nightstand said it was only five in the morning. Memories of the night before swirled through Rick’s head, leaving him wondering if he was in some sort of waking dream. Maybe if he opened his eyes, he’d wake up and realize he couldn’t possibly be this lucky. Maybe if he held still, the weight of her head pressed to his bicep wouldn’t suddenly disappear.
But the reality was, somehow, he’d gotten his dream girl. And he was a fool if he didn’t at least take a little peek through one eye to commit this to memory.
“Morning.” Lana’s voice was thick with sleep, her own eyes still closed.
“It’s still early.” Rick shifted as she snuggled in, his body instinctively making a place for her to burrow. “You can go back to sleep.”
She hummed in distinctive feminine appreciation, her cold fingers finding a nice warm spot along his side to tuck into. And yes, maybe that was somewhat hard to ignore, but he’d take cold Lana fingers versus no cold Lana fingers any day of the week.
Even as she fell back into a light snooze, Rick tried to think of anything he could do to make this happen again. Nope. Not a thing. He’d literally botched them up from the very beginning, from the atrocious first date to not being by her side yesterday when she’d jumped into the lake. Rick was on overload, overwhelmed by everything about her. Respect and desire and sheer freaking relief. That was what she made him feel. Like he was drowning, and she was that first desperate gasp of air. An invisible weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying on his shoulders was tossed aside somewhere between the chair and his bed.
Rick never wanted to pick that weight back up again.
“You’re not sleeping,” Lana said into his chest. “Do you want me to leave?”
Her question took him off guard. “Do you want to leave?”
“I don’t know. Depends on how upset you look when I open my eyes.”
Running his hand down her side, Rick found himself smiling. “Is that why you won’t look at me?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“Maybe.”
Cradling her close, Rick kissed her, a long, slow kiss. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you going anywhere.”
A single eye opened as if to secretly check. It had made sense when he was afraid of this not being real. But in what universe would she need to worry? Rick rolled over onto his back, drawing her across his chest, her hair falling across his neck and jaw.
“Trust me, the last thing I am right now is upset.”
He wasn’t used to insecurity from her, but he could guess where it was coming from. It wasn’t as if he’d made his bedroom welcoming for anyone new to walk in there.
Heck, his ex’s clothes were still in the drawers, and the bedding was still lavender and gray, her choices.
“What was she like?” Lana asked quietly, as if reading his mind.
Rick’s eyebrow rose. “You really want to talk about my ex?”
“She was a big part of you. Besides, you’ve got that same expression on your face you always get when you’re thinking about her.”
That was bad. Extra bad. He was the absolute worst. Which was why he had no idea why Lana was grinning at him.
“I’m trained to read facial expressions,” Lana reassured him. “It’s a boardroom game I learned as a child. And I’m not jealous. This was new for you, and if you want to talk about her, I’m okay with that. I don’t expect you not to have feelings.”
Sighing, Rick closed his eyes, allowing himself to take a long, steadying breath.
“I have feelings,” he said. “A little guilt, even though it’s ridiculous. Jen’s remarried and living in Seattle. I have nothing to feel guilty for.”
“Divorce isn’t something people get over easily.” Lana’s hand rubbed a soothing circle over his chest. “It takes time.”
“I think if she’d been awful, it wouldn’t have hurt the way it did. She was good, and she was kind, but she didn’t love me the way I loved her. Moose Springs wasn’t right for her anymore, so she let me go the nicest way she knew how. No dragged-out divorce, no fighting over what we had. All she wanted was to be free.”
His voice quieted on the last word, so much that he’d be surprised if Lana could hear him.
“I’d loved her a long time. Tried my best to make things work, even when they weren’t. It wasn’t until we were standing there with the attorneys that I realized after her sister died, she just needed to get out.”
“Did you ever tell her that?”
Rick sighed, rolling back to rest on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. “She wanted to be left alone. I couldn’t make her happy, but at least I could give her that.”
His arm was still looped around her waist, so Lana wriggled until she could rest her chin on his broad chest. “Were you happy?”
It took him a long time to answer. Then Rick sighed again, deeper this time. He threaded his fingers into her hair, sitting up enough that he could kiss her. A long, slow kiss that had her arm tightening around his waist.
“I thought I was,” he said. “But that was before a woman in a dead sexy dress looked me in the eyes and told me to put on a Santa suit two sizes too small.”
“It was a really good look on you.” She sighed at the memory.
“That remains to be seen, gorgeous.”
Lana snugged in closer. “Does it bother you? Lying in her bed with me?”
“It stopped being her bed a long time ago. It’s mine. And no, it doesn’t. Does it bother you?”
“That you’re divorced? Only that you think you did something wrong. I didn’t know you then, but the man I know now…I can’t imagine it.”
Rick ran a hand over her hair. “We grew apart. I didn’t want to see it.”
“And now?”
“Now I want to be happy.” Taking her in, Rick added softly, “And I’m happiest when you’re happy.”
Lana sat up, eyes sparkling in the low glow of the woodburning stove. “I want you to be happy too,” she said. “So what do you want to do today that will make you happy?”