Callum Park

I am not done with Bernadette Blackbird, just because I come.

Instead, I roll us over so that I’m on top. She reaches up to cup my cheek, and I press my face into her skin.

“I am your monster,” I tell her, and I mean that with every syllable. “Command me as you choose.” I drop my mouth to hers, tasting her pain and loving it. I meant it when I told her that pain is pretty to those who have too much of it. It must be; it has to be. It’s a defense mechanism for the soul. Bernadette Blackbird is swimming in pain; it’s that grief and melancholy that makes the ties that bind us.

“Fuck me,” she groans, and she’s damn lucky because we’re young and I’m desperate for her, and I haven’t had sex in almost six months. I’m ready for this. My body seems to move of its own accord, like it often does, like it knows better than I do what’s to come next. Works the same way with dance or violence; I just go. My muscles and my blood and my bones, they know better than my brain it seems.

“Yes, mistress,” I murmur, my body coming alive at her command. As quickly as I can, I strip off my pants and my hoodie, yanking her own leggings off and chucking them aside like they’ve pissed me off. My hands worship her soft flesh, my lips her lush mouth, my cock her sweet pussy. She caresses me with her body, legs wrapped around me, hands in my hair. After this, I know for certain that no other woman will ever be allowed to touch me.

Bernadette has just inserted herself into the eyes of a monster, and there’s no escaping after this. If she were to run from me, I would follow at a distance and watch over her. It’s the only way I know how to behave anymore, the only thing I understand. I’m confident that I was born a little bit broken, and then twisted into what I am now by the world.

Most definitely.

I fuck Bernadette into the dance floor of my studio until she’s screaming, clawing at me, drowning in my kisses. Until she is most definitely, assuredly mine.

For a while after, we lie there and listen to my playlist. It’s fairly dark, definitely damaged; it reflects me perfectly.

I stare at the ceiling with her wrapped up in my left arm, her head on my chest. Her breathing slows enough that I know she’s truly asleep. Even though my body aches like crazy lying on that hard floor, I don’t move. I’ll sacrifice whatever I have to in order to keep her happy.

Everyone needs a goal in life, don’t they? A dream? As ours were stripped from us, one by one, I think we all took this sweet, little girl who needed us and turned her into an obsession.

I almost feel sorry for Bernadette, being at the mercy of Havoc.

“Jesus,” she groans a little while later, sitting up and blinking sex and sleep from her eyes. “How long have I been out?”

I smile at her.

“Not long,” I reply, sitting up next to her. We’re both naked, but it doesn’t matter. Nobody would dare bother me in here while the door is locked. If they did, not even god could save them. My hands itch to spill blood, but I quell that need by stroking Bernie’s beautiful hair back from her face. “Do you want to try to actually dance some before we bail out?”

She looks back at me, blushing slightly and glancing away. As if the blush has angered her, she narrows her eyes on the floor, gaining control of her emotions before turning back to look at me again.

“Actually, I’d like that,” she says, shrugging her shoulders loosely and then forcing herself into a sitting position. “But maybe you could also teach me how to move in the shadows the way you do?”

I quirk a brow, sitting up beside her and smiling at the idea of any of the other instructors or students catching our flushed faces on the way to the bathroom to clean up. That should be fun.

“How to move in shadows, huh?” I ask, thinking on the subject for a minute. It never really occurred to me that that was a skill of any worth. It’s just something I’ve always done, tried to move without being seen or heard. It’s better that way, isn’t it? Other people rarely hold goodwill in their hearts in this part of town, so it’s just best to go at it assuming violence is on the roster. “Yeah, I could do that. You’ll have to bear with me though; this’ll be a learning experience for both of us.”

“Well, you are a teacher,” she says, giving me a stern look that quickly devolves into another smile. A pang hits my heart, making me exhale in surprise. I think … that Bernadette actually likes me. And I mean something beyond lust, or the fact that we go way back, or even our obsessive natures. No, she looks at me, and she makes me feel like a person, not just a disgraced dancer. Not just the C in Havoc. But Callum Acosta Park. A human. “A naughty one who likes to play with his students, apparently.”

“Oh, you have no idea what I want to do to you, Bernadette,” I say, still smiling, even as my voice darkens with lust. “Shall I teach you how to sneak a knife past security? That’s one of my favorite games, to see what sort of weapons I can get into Prescott.”

“Please, for the love of god, yes. I get the feeling that I’m going to need a weapon in those halls sometime soon. Things are about to amp up, aren’t they?” I nod at her words, but I hope she can see that I’m not afraid.

We will pull out of this victorious; I’m sure of it.

“Well, then, let’s get you cleaned up, and get started. The sneaking around, and the knife shit, I think you’ll be able to get no problem. The dancing … might devolve into more sex. I’m not sure that I can properly teach you without succumbing to every dark, dirty thing I want to do to you.”

“Get stuffed, Cal,” Bernie starts, but when she tries to get up, I grab her and drag her back down to the floor for another round.

If she’s too sore to practice after this, I won’t be able to blame her.

Not one bit.

When Bernadette and I come out of the dance studio, we find Oscar waiting for us.

“You’re here alone?” I ask him, my duffel bag slung over my shoulder, my body aching in all its broken places. The day I lost my dance career, I also lost the chance at a life without pain. Everything on me hurts, all the time. I have metal pins in my bones; I have parts that didn’t quite heal right. And I don’t just mean my heart. That healed in a very twisted, very strange sort of way.

Yes, but Bernie loves you the way you are. If it took losing everything to have her, then you’ll have gained a lot, Cal.

“I don’t need an escort,” Oscar quips, flaunting the rules of Havoc like he always does. He thinks he’s invincible. Well, he will until one day he just … isn’t. That’s how I discovered my mortality: by losing my invincibility. I smile, because it seems to freak people out when I do that. Maybe they can sense that I’m always just this close to losing it?

“Why are you here?” Bernie bites out, her hair still a bit tangled, her face still a bit flushed. She glances my way, and I can feel my smile turning into something darker, but with more meaning. She lights me up inside in a way that I can’t explain. I suppose that some things require no explanation; they just are. That’s Bernadette to me. I have always loved her, but it seems pretty self-explanatory as to why I do.

She’s strong. She’s got conviction. She acts like she doesn’t care when she cares a whole hell of a lot.