I’d led an empty life since Kian and my baby boy’s death, and now, suddenly, it was full.

Full enough to make my heart quiver in my chest.

I knew what it was like to lose someone. Someone I’d die for. Here, I was being granted a deeper kind of bond, one I couldn’t possibly understand, but that tied me to three powerful men.

Maybe another woman would have been scared or, at least, filled with trepidation, but I wasn’t.

If anything, I looked forward to the prospect of no longer being alone, because that had been the common theme of this week.

One of them had always been with me.

And it had been wonderful.

I sighed at the thought, before murmuring, “Shouldn’t I be there?”

“You should, but I don’t want you to be scared of me,” Ethan admitted.

“Are you going to kill him?”

His eyes flared wide at the ease in which I uttered that question. I felt no fear, no worry over asking such a thing. I’d seen bareknuckle fights in the past, where grown men had killed each other with nothing more than their fists. Sure, it would be harder watching two animals tear each other apart, but at least they were supposed to be wild.

I’d never understood the men who fought in my father’s illegal boxing matches. Money wasn’t everything. It was why I’d never fit in with my family. They thought that, but I didn’t.

“No, it won’t be to the death. He has a pup.”

And Ethan had morals.

I tilted my head to the side. “That means he might be fighting to the death—your death.”

He shrugged. “He has no honor.”

Eli grumbled, “He has some, and I doubt he’ll—”

“You doubt it?” Austin snorted, but he sank back into the rickety chair like he was born for it, and mimicking Eli’s posture, he crossed his legs so that his ankle rested on his other knee. What was it about that pose that got to me like lady porn? “You don’t know how hated we are.”

“I don’t get it. Why are you so hated? Are you—” I shook my head. “No, you can’t be. They can’t dislike you because you’re horrible. Ethan has a sharp tongue and an attitude problem, and you’re a joker, but that’s nothing to hate about you.”

Austin laughed. “Attitude problem. Understatement.”

Ethan flipped him the bird. “You grow up around here long enough, stay around these people, you’ll get a stick up your ass too.”

“I wasn’t criticizing,” I countered genuinely. “I was just stating a fact.”

“A fact that you’re an asshole,” Austin hooted, and I glowered at him.

“Enough,” Eli rumbled, and though Austin stopped snickering, his amusement was clear.

“They don’t like us because we’re twins.”

Ethan’s dour tone had me frowning. “Huh?”

I had to have misunderstood that, right? He couldn’t have said what I thought he said. Surely?

“You heard him right,” Austin said drolly. “They don’t like us because we came from a multiple litter.”

My eyes flashed at that phrasing, and I shot Eli a look. “Your babies are born as dogs?”

He winced. “We’re not dogs. But no, they’re not born as pups. We don’t shift until we’re around thirteen or fourteen usually.”

“So, what’s the problem with multiple litters?”

“They’re considered bad luck.”

“Why?” I demanded, even more bewildered by Ethan’s abrupt retort.

“Just are.” Austin shrugged. “They’re incredibly rare.”

“Well, they are in humans too.”

Eli shook his head. “If we get one a generation, that’s a large amount. We haven’t had twins in our pack since…” He whistled. “1854.”

My eyes widened. “How come?”

“We keep small numbers so we don’t come to the humans’ awareness. It’s said that the Mother blesses us with small litters for that reason.”

“So a multiple litter birth is considered, what? Mother unblessed?”

Austin pulled a face. “That’s one way of thinking of it.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Lots of things don’t,” Eli admitted. “But sometimes, it’s not whether or not it makes sense, but if enough people believe it.”

His words resonated with me on a base level. “I understand,” I murmured. “It’s like, people think the Roma are dirty. But we’re not. It’s a part of our culture to be clean. Ridiculously clean. We have so many rules about cleanliness that it takes up a large part of the day just cleaning.” I shrugged. “People believe it, so it must be true, even if it isn’t.”

“Do you abide by those rules?” Eli inquired, and I sensed his curiosity.

“No. The day I left my family behind, I changed my lifestyle to fit in with normal people. It was no hardship. I hated my culture by that point. Hated what it meant for me and my family.” I bit my lip. “So you’re disliked because you’re twins, will that make it harder for you to take on leadership roles?”

“I won’t be leading anything,” Austin rumbled.

Eli snorted. “Yes, you will. You’ll have more responsibility once you can’t share the burden with Ethan.”

“You’re certain he’ll win the challenge?” I asked.

Ethan bared his teeth. “I’m a thousand times stronger than Brandon. He’s beta in rank and character too. Me? I’m alpha.”

Eli nodded. “He’s right.”

“What’s the difference between you two then?” I pondered.

“You can be alpha by nature, by spirit, but not by rank,” Ethan explained.

Eli agreed, “Sometimes it’s down to personality too. Ethan would kill someone if he had to rule the pack.”

Ethan surprised the hell out of me by laughing. “Damn straight.”

“He isn’t a people person, that’s for sure,” Austin inserted.

“But you didn’t seem to be either?” I noted hesitantly, sending the question to Eli.

“Not with the council. I hate them. They’re all a bunch of self-serving assholes, and I’ve had to put up with them for years because I didn’t want to hurt my mother. Every day I had with her was a gift from the Mother. She lived a long time, she stayed on for me, striving past the pain and loneliness once father died, because I wasn’t granted a mate at my covenant—”

My eyes flared wide at that. “Huh? What’s a covenant?”

“The ceremony where we officially shift. For the first time in front of the pack. It’s like our bar mitzvah.”

I reached up and rubbed my temple. “I have a lot to learn, don’t I?”

“You have an entire culture to pick up,” Austin said sympathetically. “But you have time, and you have people at your back who’ll teach you whatever you need to know.”

“Okay, so start with the basics.”

Eli

The basics.

If only it was as simple as that, but there was nothing simple about our world.