Or perhaps it was learning that Casteel had kept yet another thing from me?

It was probably all of those things that played a role in my sudden failure to shut down my abilities.

I looked at my plate of mostly untouched food, and I…I simply did not want to sit here any longer.

And I was tired of doing things I didn’t want to do.

“Excuse me,” I said to no one in particular, rising from my seat.

Jasper watched me but said nothing as I stepped around the chair. I walked past the tables, aware of conversations halting as I passed. I kept my chin high, wishing I’d had the forethought to go through the clothing Vonetta had brought over. Nothing took the dignity out of one’s exit like wearing clothing several sizes too large.

But I doubted being dressed in pretty tunics or even the richest of gowns would’ve changed a damn thing.

I pushed open one of the doors and stepped outside, dragging in deep breaths clean of others’ emotions. Stars had already started to glimmer in the deepening sky, and I stared upward. I was finally able to close myself off.

Turning, I spotted Delano and Naill sitting on the crumbling wall that led to the Bay. I didn’t try to read them, and it worked. Their emotions weren’t forced onto me.

“You look like you could use a drink.” Delano offered the bottle of brown liquid he held. “It’s whiskey.”

I walked over, taking the bottle by the neck. “Thank you,” I said, lifting it. The woody aroma was powerful.

“Tastes like horse piss,” Naill said. “Fair warning.”

I nodded, tipping the bottle to my mouth and taking a long swallow. The liquor burned my throat and eyes. Coughing, I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth as I handed the bottle to Delano. “I don’t know what horse piss tastes like, but I’m sure that’s a good comparison.”

Naill chuckled.

“We were getting ready to head in there.” Delano stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankles. “But we figured we’d wait until the air cleared a bit.”

“Good choice,” I muttered.

“Looks like the room is airing out now.” Naill’s gaze flicked over my shoulder.

The muscles in the back of my neck tightened. “Please tell me that’s not him.”

“Well, I suppose it depends on who him is,” Delano drawled.

I turned to see Casteel coming down the steps and across the short distance that separated us, his gaze locked onto mine.

“I have a feeling the air is going to get a bit thick out here.” Naill hopped off the wall. “I think it’s time we head inside.”

“Wise call,” Casteel remarked, his gaze, nearly feral, never leaving mine.

Delano pushed off the wall. “Please, no stabbing. All of that makes me anxious.”

I crossed my arms. “No promises.”

Casteel smirked but said nothing as Naill and Delano made their way back into the fort. He stared at me.

I stared at him. “Do you need something?”

“That’s a loaded question.”

“I was hoping it was a rhetorical one with the answer being: obviously, no,” I said.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” he replied. “Why did you leave?”

“I wanted a few moments to myself, but apparently, that isn’t going to happen.”

A muscle flexed in his jaw. “I’m sorry, Poppy.”

My brows lifted as I focused on him. There was still a potent thread of anger in him, and I didn’t delve deeper into the layers of emotions. “About what exactly?”

“About more than one thing, apparently,” he replied, and my eyes narrowed. “But I’d like to start with how my people have behaved toward you. I hate that they’ve made you feel so unwelcome, and I hate that you know how they feel. I can promise you that will change.”

“You…you really believe that you can change that? You can’t,” I told him before he answered. “They will either accept me or not. Either way, I expected this, and there’s no way you didn’t. You just hoped I wouldn’t read them.”

“I wished you wouldn’t have known,” he corrected. “How could I not wish that? And I do believe how they feel about you will change.”

Pressing my lips together, I looked away. I didn’t think it was impossible for them to change. Feelings were not stagnant. Neither were opinions or beliefs, and if we stopped believing people were capable of change, then the world might as well be left to burn.

“We need to talk and not about the people in that room,” he said.

I turned from him to where the reflection of the moon rippled across the Bay. “That’s the last thing I want to do right now.”

“Do you have better ideas?” He stepped closer, the heat and scent of him reaching me. “I know I do.”

My gaze shot to him. “If you’re suggesting what I think you are, I am going to stab you in the heart again.”

Casteel’s eyes flashed a warm honey. “Don’t tempt me with empty promises.”

“You are so twisted.”

“Alastir was right. I do take after my father when it comes to women with sharp objects,” he said.

“I don’t care.”

He ignored that. “My mother has stabbed my father a time or a dozen over the years. He claims he deserved it each time, and truthfully, he never seemed all that torn up about being stabbed. Probably had something to do with the fact that they’d be holed up in their private chambers for days after a spat.”

“Glad to know the disturbed apple doesn’t fall too far from the crazy tree.”

He chuckled.

The door opened behind us, and Kieran prowled out. “Don’t yell at me,” he said as the door swung closed behind him. “But my father wants to speak to you.”

“Your father?” I frowned, and then it occurred to me. “Jasper?”

Kieran nodded, and now I knew why I thought some of Jasper’s features were familiar.

A muscle flexed in Casteel’s jaw once more. “He’s going to—”

“Go speak with Jasper,” I cut in. “Because as I already said, I don’t really want to talk to you right now.”

“Keep telling yourself that, and maybe it’ll be true.” Casteel turned to Kieran as I came this close to punching him. “I really hope your father has a good reason for wanting to speak with me right this moment.”

“Knowing him, he probably just wants to laugh at you,” Kieran replied. “So have fun with that.”

Casteel flipped Kieran off as he stalked back toward the doors.

“Very princely,” Kieran called after him and then turned to me. “Come, Penellaphe. I’ll take you back to your room. Then I must ensure that Casteel actually doesn’t end up slaughtering someone, because my father is sure to drive him crazy.”

“I don’t—” Exhaling heavily, I was too irritated to even argue. “Whatever.”

Kieran extended an arm and waited. Swallowing a mouthful of curses, I walked past him.

“That was a spectacular dinner,” he said as we rounded the fortress.

“Wasn’t it?”

He snorted.

Neither of us spoke as he walked me back to my room. It was only when he went to close the door that I asked, “Your father is the what? Leader of the wolven?”

“He speaks for them, yes. Brings any concerns or ideas to the King and Queen.”

Remembering that Vonetta planned to travel home to visit their mother, I asked, “Is your father normally in Spessa’s End?”

“He comes quite regularly to check on the wolven that are here. Sometimes, our mother travels with him, but she’s due soon.”

For a moment, what he’d said didn’t make sense. And then it did. “Your mother is pregnant?”

A faint grin appeared. “You look so surprised.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that…you’re around Casteel’s age, right?”

“We’re the same age. Vonetta—who won’t be the baby of the family much longer—was born sixty years after me,” he answered. “My father is nearly six hundred years old—my mother four hundred. Next to Alastir, he is one of the oldest wolven still alive.”

“That’s a…hell of an age gap between children,” I murmured.

“Not when you think about how long it takes to rear a wolven. Beckett may resemble a mortal who is no older than thirteen, but in reality, he is older than you by many years. So is Quentyn.”

That made sense. Casteel had said that aging slowed once an Atlantian entered the Culling. Quentyn may look my age or slightly younger, but he was most likely years older than me. “How did your father come to this position?”

“Not many wolven survived the war, so there simply wasn’t a lot to choose from,” he explained, and that…that was sad to consider. “Are you sure that is what you want to ask me about?”

It was.

And it wasn’t.

Another question burned through me, but I wasn’t going to ask that.

Kieran hesitated and then nodded. “Then goodnight, Penellaphe.”

“Goodnight,” I murmured, standing there until the door closed. Then I was alone. Alone with only my feelings, my own thoughts.

Promised to another.

Weariness enveloped me as I slowly walked into the bedroom. I went to the clothing Vonetta had brought over, relieved to see not a single item of white. I picked up a dark blue tunic with fine gold threading along the hem and edging. It was sleeveless and long, with slits up the sides. There was another that was gold, nearly the color of an elemental’s eyes. I smoothed my hand over the soft, cottony material. There was another shirt of emerald green, one with frilly sleeves and a fancy neckline. I sat the tops aside, finding two pairs of black leggings that were as thick as breeches, and both appeared as if they’d fit me. A hooded cloak made of cotton was folded on top of several new undergarments. Vonetta had mentioned the cloak, and now that I saw it, I knew she was right when she’d said it was far more suitable than the heavier winter cloaks.