I wanted to say it but I’d seen the look that had passed between Orazio and Lucy, and I didn’t want to lie to Dante. “I can’t,” I whispered thickly, my eyes prickling.

“Val,” Dante said quietly, sounding tortured. “If Orazio has been helping the Famiglia…”

I didn’t want to imagine it. I couldn’t.

“Do you know where he might be right now?”

I shook my head. “No. But he was in his car.”

Dante cupped my head and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Please don’t kill him.”

Dante took a deep breath. “I’d do almost anything for you, Val. I’ve chosen you over the Outfit before and part of me wants to do it again, but if Orazio betrayed the Outfit by working with the Famiglia, I have to punish him accordingly.”

“Mamma will be devastated… and Papa. God, I can’t even think about it. Maybe it’s not as we think.” I swallowed, trying hard not to cry, not to lose it before I knew all the details.

Anna headed our way with her empty plate. I blinked hastily and swallowed, then forced a smile. “Do you want Mommy’s toast?”

Anna shook her head. “I’m full.” She glanced between us as if she could sense that something was going on. I’d noticed it before. Anna was perceptive, especially when it came to gauging people’s emotions. It was a beautiful talent but also worrying because I wanted to protect her from so many things in our world and her empathy would make it harder for me to succeed.

Word about Orazio’s disappearance spread like wildfire in the Outfit. Pietro had tried to exert damage control but the men who’d worked with Orazio had obviously spread speculations. Rubbing my temples, I stared down at a report about an attack on a storage facility and lab near Cleveland.

“When’s my father going to be here?” Valentina asked, carrying Leonas against her chest as she stepped in. He was only in diapers and a shirt, and already twisting on her arm to get back down and undress more. She looked tired, which wasn’t surprising because her worry over her brother had kept her up at night and during the day Anna and Leonas kept Val busy so she couldn’t try to catch up on sleep then. With the escalation of the Famiglia situation and Orazio’s defection, my workload had doubled and even as I tried, I wasn’t much of a help. I stood and walked over to her. “Do you want me to take care of him for a bit so you can take a hot shower and have a coffee in peace?”

Val raised her eyebrows, looking down at herself. “Do I look that bad?”

I touched her hip, my thumb slipping under her cashmere sweater to feel the smooth skin beneath then I leaned down to give her a lingering kiss. “You are beautiful as always, Val.”

She pursed her lips. “I don’t feel it right now. I feel like a mess.”

“This is difficult,” I said quietly and took Leonas from her. His eyes snapped up to me and he grinned. “Daddy, play in garden!”

“So when’s my father going to be here? I know you’re going to discuss the Orazio situation with him again.” This was another reason for Val’s sleepless nights.

“In ten minutes. Your brother isn’t our only topic. The war with the Famiglia is taking up many of our resources.”

Val nodded slowly. “You don’t have any hints where he could be.”

“Not yet.” Val regarded me as if she wasn’t sure I was telling the truth. She had every reason to be wary. While I didn’t have a trace to Orazio’s whereabouts yet, I wouldn’t have told her even if I had. When I caught Orazio, I wouldn’t tell Val. Giovanni and I had agreed on that.

Leonas squirmed in my arms. “Please down!”

I set him down and he stumbled toward my desk chair, trying to climb on it.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll grab a shower now.” With a last glance at Leonas and me, she slipped out of my office. I glanced down at my son, remembering Giovanni’s shaken expression when he’d found out Orazio had run off. Giovanni didn’t know it yet, but I wouldn’t tell him if I ever caught his son either. Maybe Orazio was clever enough to go into hiding somewhere we didn’t have contacts, Scandinavia or Asia would be good options. The desk chair was spinning around itself, making it impossible Leonas to climb up. I walked over to him and held the chair by its backrest. Leonas finally managed to pull himself up then throned on my chair with a proud grin. His blond hair was all over the place, definitely in need of a cut. So far it hadn’t darkened much, but when I had been his age my hair had been lighter too.

I tried to imagine how I would feel if he’d run away from his family, from his duties. The mere idea hit me like a punch in the stomach. Maybe Giovanni should have been more lenient when it came to Orazio’s wish to be with Lucy. But the Outfit would have been against the union no doubt. An Asian woman, or really any woman without Italian ancestors, would have a hard time being accepted in our circles.

I hoped this would change by the time Leonas was old enough to fall in love.

The bell rang. Anna’s delighted scream followed and despite the tension in my body, I couldn’t help but smile. I picked up Leonas and walked toward the front door where Giovanni was hugging Anna to his chest and lifting her up while Gabby held open the door for him. He seemed to have aged ten years since the news about Orazio’s disappearance. “There’s my favorite princess,” Giovanni said as he kissed Anna’s cheeks. She beamed all over her face then grinned at me with flushed cheeks. Giovanni headed my way, the smile becoming tenser. He set Anna down then pressed another kiss to the crown of her head. “Your dad and I have business to discuss, bambina, but I’ll read you a story later, how about that?”

Anna pouted but nodded. I stroked her head. “Why don’t you help Gabby?”

Anna nodded even though she looked disappointed. Giovanni tousled Leonas’ head who giggled in response.

Gabby grabbed Anna’s hand and led her into the kitchen.

Giovanni peered down at Leonas squirming in my arms. “He’s already grown so much.”

I handed Leonas to Giovanni who cradled him to his chest with a wistful smile. Leonas calmed down for a moment. “I remember when I held Orazio for the first time…” He fell silent and I could tell he was fighting with himself. I squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe it’s for the best if he stays in hiding. Right now, we don’t have the resources to waste on searching for him.”

Giovanni looked up, realizing what I was saying. I wouldn’t actively search for Orazio. That was my gift to him and Val.

“If you catch him, he’ll be seen as a traitor…”

I sighed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we reach it. As of now, we don’t know if he did anything that can be construed as betrayal.” Running away from the mob was betrayal but if that was his only crime, maybe I could be lenient, even if that would send a fatal message to other Made Men considering defecting their duties. As it was the best outcome for all of us would be if Orazio would never show up again.

I led Giovanni into my office and he sank down in an armchair with Leonas on his lap who freed himself and stormed toward my desk chair. This time he managed to climb up without my help which caused the chair to spin around itself with him. Leonas laughed in delight.