WHEN GLORIA IS IN TOWN, SHE STAYS IN A PENTHOUSE at the Four Seasons. The clerk who takes my call refuses to put it through. His tone implies that the queen does not like to be disturbed.

I swallow back the impulse to say something rude and put a hopeful smile in my voice when I reply, "Look. I understand. If you've been around at all, you'll remember a few months ago Gloria got in trouble with the law. My name is Anna Strong. I helped her get out of that trouble. If you just call up to her room and ask, I'm sure she'll take the call."

And if she doesn't, I'll come over there, climb the fucking building and yank Gloria by the short hairs until she begs me to stop.

The clerk finally agrees to try. He puts me on hold. I'm on hold two minutes. I know because I'm timing it, plotting how to exact revenge if the bitch refuses my call.

The Kenny G elevator music I'm forced to endure during this interminable hold cycle suddenly cuts off to be replaced by a ring.

Thank you.

The phone is picked up.

"Hello?"

It's a man's voice. Or rather a male voice-a sleepy, sexy, incredibly young-sounding male voice.

"This is Anna Strong. I need to speak with Gloria."

No reponse.

"Hello? I'm calling for Gloria. Is she there?"

This time, the voice purrs, "Ms. Estrella is still asleep. I'm not sure I should disturb her. If you tell me the nature of your call . . ."

I get it now. Gloria is directing the conversation from somewhere in the background. From the sound of this guy 's voice, they're most likely in bed.

"Look, dickhead, I don't care if Ms. Estrella is asleep. Put her on now or I'll come up there and make it difficult for you to fuck anything else for a long time. Ask Gloria. She'll tell you I'll do it."

I hear a sharp intake of breath, a muffled conversation as he relays my message and finally, "Jesus, Anna, you never change, do you?"

"I could say the same for you, Gloria. The kid sounds like he's about sixteen. His voice is still changing. Should I send the police?"

Her laugh is short, brittle. "Did you have a reason to call? Or do you get off badgering me?"

I did have a reason to call. An important reason. It galls me that just the sound of her voice makes me lose mine.

"Yes. This Eternal Youth thing you're involved with. I have some questions."

"Then contact my lawyer." Her tone morphs from aggravation to boredom. "Unless you're asking me to slip you a few jars. Are you suddenly feeing old? See a few wrinkles when you look in the mirror?"

Laughter bubbles up. If she only knew-

"No, you idiot. I think there's something wrong with the stuff. Have you tried it?"

Now it's Gloria who laughs. "Are you kidding? Why would I put that crap on my face? I don't need it. And when I get to the point that I do, I'll have my own formula made up. This is purely a moneymaking thing. Tremaine seems to have stumbled on a unique product. She asked me to be the spokesmodel. I agreed. Period."

Part of me is relieved; part of me wants to howl in disappointment.

"How do you know Tremaine?"

"Why are you asking?"

My hands clutch into fists on the steering wheel. "Jesus, Gloria, will you just answer the fucking question?"

"Not the way to encourage cooperation, Anna. Okay, I'll answer your questions if you agree to answer mine. Quid pro quo."

I feel the blood rush to my face. If I had the time, I 'd find her and snatch every hair from her head. Instead, I speak with slow deliberation. "Fine. Ask."

"How's David?"

My first impulse to deny her any information about her ex is quickly swallowed up by a better idea. "He's just great. He's in the Bahamas with his fiancee."

It provokes the desired result. A sharp intake of breath followed by an equally sharp, "Fiancee? When did that happen? Who is she? Do I know her?"

"That's three questions, Gloria. Now answer mine. How did you meet Simone Tremaine?"

At first, I think she's hung up on me, the silence stretches so long. Finally, though, she says, "Through my agent. She contacted him, he contacted me. We did a deal." Tiny voice, "What's her name?"

"You don't know her, Gloria. David met her after you broke up. Do you have an address for Tremaine? A telephone number?"

"Not here. The contract's in my office in L.A."

Another dead end. At least if I can't track her down any other way, I'll follow up with Gloria. A surprisingly subdued Gloria. She's not snapping back with another question, so I take the initiative.

"The cream, has the stuff been tested?" I ask. "Approved by the FDA?"

That revives her. She snorts. "Your ignorance is showing. Cosmetics are not subject to FDA approval. It's left up to each company to substantiate the safety and effectiveness of their products."

Too formal.

She's been asked that before? "How do you know that?"

"I'm not stupid, Anna. I looked into it. I'm not going to jump into something I might get sued for later."

Ah. Meaning, her lawyer looked into it. Still, no human lawyer could have known or suspected that Tremaine was not what she appeared.

"Look, Gloria, I can't believe I'm about to say this." True enough, I'd like nothing better than to see her go down in flames. "But something is not right with Tremaine. I'm warning you. Get out now while you can. Disassociate yourself from Eternal Youth before it's too late."

There's a moment of silence and I think Gloria might be considering what I 've told her. I brace myself for the barrage of questions sure to follow.

"Oh, Anna," she says finally. "You're still jealous of me. It's so childish."

The line goes dead and I'm left gaping openmouthed at the phone. How like Gloria to interpret concern for jealousy.

I toss the phone onto the seat beside me.

Then I smile.

I tried to warn you, Gloria. Don't blame me when this Eternal Youth thing bites you in the ass.