Luca’s words from weeks ago flashed in my mind: We are done.

Yes, we were.

LUCA

Grace circled me like a vulture. She’d married some old fucker with millions in his bank account, but now she eye-fucked me like she’d done in the past.

“Have you gotten bored of your wife already? I told you she couldn’t satisfy you.”

“Don’t talk about her,” I said in warning. She seemed to have forgotten my warning from last time.

Matteo raised his eyebrows at me from across the room. I didn’t see Aria or Gianna anywhere, and I was fucking glad. Aria in that almost white dress, like a fucking apparition, a fucking angel.

A weakness.

“I’m not here to talk, don’t worry,” she purred. My eyes were drawn to her cleavage.

“What are you here for then?” I asked with a curl of my lip.

“To fuck.” She smiled. “Come on, Luca.”

I followed a few steps behind her, my eyes on her ass in that joke of a jumpsuit. She led me into her old bedroom, a room I had good memories of.

Grace closed the door and turned to me, licking her red lips. “Oh, I missed having your cock in me, Luca,” she crooned as she stepped up to me and leaned in to kiss me.

“No kissing,” I growled, glaring down at her. She pouted but didn’t try again. I had never liked kissing her, now less than ever.

Her long nails raked down my chest, then lower. I had to fight the urge to shove her hand away. I wasn’t hard yet, not even close. Her touch actually fucking disgusted me.

Confusion flickered on her face, then a daring smile. “Playing hard to get?”

“One of us has to,” I muttered, hating her and hating myself.

She flushed but didn’t let my harshness deter her. She got on her knees, making an innocent face. It looked fucking fake. And it had the opposite effect on me than she intended. I remembered Aria’s innocent smiles, her innocent touches as I’d made her mine.

Aria.

Fuck.

Always Aria.

Then I remembered the last time she’d taken me into her mouth, her perfect lips, her teasing. I loved how she’d grown more confident when it came to sex over the years. I loved her scent, her taste, her silky skin. Fuck it. I fucking loved everything about her, loved her still. Loved every fucking inch of her, but most of all her laughter and smiles, and the way she looked at me with love and trust.

I staggered back from Grace’s fingers on my zipper. She dropped her hand, eyes narrowing.

“What now? Don’t tell me you can’t cheat on your goody-two-shoes Aria.”

I grasped her arm in a death grip. “Don’t you dare insult her. Don’t even speak her name.” I pushed her away from me, so fucking furious I could hardly control myself. Furious at myself for my weakness, for my useless feelings. Then I turned around and went back to the party.

Matteo was at my side in a heartbeat. “That was a quickie if I ever saw one.” His voice was strange but I had no patience to analyze his mood.

“I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t even let her suck my cock. Fuck it.” What the fuck had I become?

“Because of Aria.”

I curled my hands into fists, wanting to destroy something, wanting to kill and maim. “I’m fucking weak,” I said quietly.

“Weak?” Matteo laughed. “Luca, you killed a clubhouse full of bikers, tore them to shreds, you tortured our uncle for hours without batting an eye, and you wouldn’t feel a flicker of remorse if you killed every fucker in this room. You aren’t weak because of your feelings for Aria. Our father was a sadistic asshole and insane.”

“I’m like a castrated dog.”

Matteo groaned, glaring. “You know Aria never cheated on you. That woman has always and will always belong only to you, Luca.”

“I know,” I growled. And fuck me, I knew she had been faithful, not only because the photographer had confirmed her story, but also because Aria wasn’t like that. She wouldn’t cheat. I’d realized it quickly, but I was still fucking mad at her for going behind my back, and I was too fucking proud to apologize. “And apparently I can’t cheat on her either.”

“She’s got you pussy-whipped.”

If it were only that. She had my cold heart in an unrelenting grip, and I couldn’t shake it off.

My eyes scanned the crowd again and finally I found Aria. Gianna was at her side, practically holding her up. Aria looked pale and then her eyes settled on me, and I knew she’d seen me leave with Grace. She straightened and held my gaze.

This was it. My way to get rid of the weakness that made me an easy target for Dante.

“Apologize,” Matteo muttered. “For fuck’s sake, Luca, apologize to her.”

“No,” I said firmly. “We are done.”

chapter 21

ARIA

I put on my thickest coat, a scarf and gloves before I walked out onto the terrace then down the slope toward the water. I watched the sun rise over the ocean, breathing in the cold air. I stood like that for a long time when steps sounded behind me. I turned around, expecting Gianna, but instead Matteo headed my way, dressed in only sweatpants and a shirt despite the freezing temperatures. He and I hadn’t exchanged more than a few words in the last four weeks. I turned back to the water, not sure if I wanted him to disturb this moment of almost peace. I rarely slept more than a few hours at night anymore. But I owed him thanks.

Matteo stopped beside me.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. “For finding the photographer even if it was in vain.” Four weeks, and slowly I was starting to realize that this was it. That the love I’d taken for granted, I’d never experience again.

“Three years ago you kept a secret from Luca for me,” Matteo said in a voice gravelly with sleep. “If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be standing here today.”

I turned toward him and tilted my face up. We’d never talked about that day in the years that followed. “I did it for Luca,” I said because it was the truth and we both knew it. Merely speaking his name burned me up inside.

Matteo nodded, brown eyes searching mine. “And I found that photographer for him too because he needs you.”

I smiled sadly. “The last four weeks proved you wrong. Luca lives his life like he used to. He’s free again, free to party and to take women into his bed.” God, those words tore a hole into my chest, and my throat tightened until I was sure I’d suffocate.

Until Sylvester I’d harbored a flicker of hope but I was done, done with hoping for something that was never going to happen, done with the constant hurting.

Matteo shook his head with a smirk. “He didn’t sleep with the bitch. He didn’t touch her, didn’t do anything.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Four weeks and Luca hasn’t fucked anyone, hasn’t touched a single woman, hasn’t had his cock sucked. If he was done with you, he would have fucked his way through half of New York by now, trust me. The cold-hearted bastard seems to have a heart after all, and it beats only for you. He’s just too much of a stupid fucker to show you.”