I nodded. I didn’t care if we were late. Everything in me screamed at the mere idea of going to that party, but I had to keep my calm if I wanted to get through the evening without making a complete embarrassment out of myself.

Growl headed toward the door and unlocked it. Bandit and Coco accompanied us to the threshold and watched us close the door with accusing eyes.

I let my gaze wander over the neighborhood. An elderly black couple sat on their porch two houses down. I’d never seen them before, and they looked too decent for this area. Perhaps they’d lived here all their lives, and only in the last few years everything had become run-down. Their heads turned our way as Growl and I strode toward his car. We must have seemed like an apparition, dressed in our finest evening wear. People around here usually had no occasions to get dressed up at all. Growl nodded at them and they nodded in turn, but then quickly turned their heads away.

To my surprise Growl opened the door of his car for me and I climbed in, careful not to jam the hem of my dress in the door.

I gathered my hands in my lap and started rubbing them against each other when Growl pulled out of the driveway. My fingers were icy despite the mild weather. When rubbing didn’t help, I raised them to my face and blew warm air into my palms. Growl turned his eyes away from the street to look at me. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

Growl grabbed one of my hands, startling me. “You’re cold,” he said, surprised.

“It’s been like that all day. Probably nerves.” The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I hadn’t wanted to admit that much to Growl.

“Nerves?” I was glad when he finally had no choice but to return his attention to the street. “Nobody will hurt you.”

I laughed humorlessly. Not physically, perhaps. “That’s not what I’m worried about. I just don’t want to see Cosimo and the others.”

“Why?”

I often forgot how little Growl understood human nature. He reminded me of someone who’d grown up around animals and now had to figure out how human interactions worked.

“Because it reminds me of everything I’ve lost,” I admitted eventually.

Growl scowled at the street. “Did you love him?” His lips twisted at the word, as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth. “Did you love Cosimo?”

There was a hint of something hard and dark in his voice. And this time I caught the hidden emotion behind his coldness. Vulnerability and hurt. I shook my head. Love? I knew nothing of love. “No. I never wanted to marry him. I barely knew him. My parents chose him for me.” My father. But saying his name aloud was too much tonight. I couldn’t arrive at that horrid party teary-eyed. I wouldn’t give any of them that satisfaction.

“Then why are you sad that you lost him and that he’s going to marry that girl?”

Was I sad? Not about having lost Cosimo. I couldn’t care less about him now, after everything. I was sad though. But sadness was only a small part of the emotions I felt. With every passing second, another, a darker emotion, grew stronger in me. Hate. And the bone-deep desire for revenge. “I’m not sad, not about losing him. If I’d only lost him…” I laughed. “God, that would be splendid. But I lost everything.”

Growl’s body tensed beside me, but I didn’t stop.

“And sad? No,” I said quietly. “I’m angry. I want them to suffer. I want them to regret the day they decided to kill my father and destroy my family. Cosimo, Falcone and everyone else who was involved in this.”

Growl nodded, as if that was an emotion he could comprehend. He wasn’t even offended that my list possibly included him as well. He had been part of the attack on my family, even if he wasn’t the head of the operation, merely Falcone’s brutal hand.

“Don’t say anything like that at the party,” Growl warned.

“I’m not stupid. I won’t say anything like that.” But I remembered the last time I’d seen Falcone and how I’d challenged him. My hatred for him had only grown since then. Stopping myself from trying to scratch his eyes out, or better yet cut his throat with an oyster knife, would be hard.

“I know you’re not stupid. But stupidity’s got nothing to do with it. Emotions follow their own rules.”

How would you know? I wanted to ask but kept the words to myself. As ridiculous as it may sound, Growl was perhaps my only ally at that party tonight. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Trish and Anastasia, though I hoped we’d still be friends and they’d help me.

***

Cosimo’s house was smaller than Falcone’s but he, too, had a fountain in his driveway, although it was also smaller than Falcone’s. When Growl and I entered the house, every pair of eyes zoomed in on us. Conversation died down, only to pick up a moment later, but this time behind held-up hands and with stolen glances in my direction. Everyone was talking about me. Heat rose up into my head, but I forced myself to stand tall and appear relaxed despite the urge to flee. Growl put his palm against my lower back and the gesture actually managed to relax me, but people quickly noticed the touch and I could almost hear their nasty words. I took a small breath and let Growl push me further into the room. Small tables with appetizers were spread out in the large living and dining area. I supposed Cosimo had chosen the same caterer as Falcone. He seemed very keen on imitating his boss in every possible way.

And though everything seemed like a cheap copy of Falcone’s party, I caught myself wanting to be the hostess. This was supposed to be my engagement party. The happiest day of my life, at least for outward appearances. And now…

My eyes registered Anastasia and Cosimo at the end of the room, near a huge golden champagne cooler. Anastasia wore a new floor-length silver gown that made her look like a princess, and beside her stood Cosimo in a dark suit, one arm wrapped around his fiancée’s waist. Bile rose up in my throat and the smile plastered on my face turned painful. I needed something to drink. Something strong. Growl seemed to read my mind because a moment later, a glass with red wine appeared in front of my face. The other women drank champagne or white wine, so I was surprised by his choice.

“Red is supposed to calm people down. Maybe it will work for you too.”

I could have kissed him then. I’d have never expected something as thoughtful from a man like him, but my moment of peace was short-lived as we made our way toward Falcone. He acted like he was the host of this evening, making grand gestures with his arms and laughing the loudest while the people gathered around him tried to act like he was actually saying something funny.

I took a big gulp of wine, praying it would calm me quickly before I did something that would prevent me from ever getting the chance to see my mother and sister again. I couldn’t lose it tonight. There would be time for revenge one day, but not at this party.

Growl’s grip on my back tightened when we stopped in front of Falcone, as if he was trying to warn me.

“Nice party, Boss,” Growl commented.

Falcone smiled broadly. “Not my party, sadly. Cosimo did a good job. He’s trying to impress his little lady.” Finally, his cold eyes settled right on me, boring into my own eyes, triumphant and taunting. My fingers tightened on my glass but I forced my face to remain calm. I doubted I was successful. Practically every inch of me was burning with hatred, with the need to make this man in front of me suffer.