The moment people started to head for the coffin to say their last goodbye, I backed away. Nobody stopped me. Nobody even seemed to notice. They were busy putting on their show. I turned and didn’t look back. I rushed down the path, away from the grave, sending pebbles flying as my feet pounded the ground. I wasn’t even sure where I was going. The graveyard was huge, there were plenty of places to find peace and silence. I reached a part that was even more opulent than where mother had been buried. Rows over rows of old family vaults surrounded me. Most of them were locked but one of the iron gates was ajar. I headed that way, and after having made sure nobody was watching me, I opened it and slipped inside. It was cool in the vault and the smell of mildew drifted into my nose. Everything was made from gray marble. I sank down slowly and sat with my back against the cold wall.

In moments like this I understood why Gianna had run away. I’d never had the urge to leave this life behind forever, but sometimes I wanted to escape at least for a little while.

I knew eventually someone would notice I was missing and come looking for me, but I didn’t even care that Father would lose his shit on me.

It took less than an hour before I heard someone call my name in the distance. I opened my lips to reply but not a sound came out. I rested my head against the marble, and peered out through the bars of the iron gate. So often in my life I’d felt like I was surrounded by invisible bars, and now I sought shelter behind them. A bitter smile twisted my lips. Steps crunched outside of the vault. I held my breath as someone came into view outside the gate.

A tall form with a familiar frame loomed in front of it. Romero. He hadn’t seen me yet but his eyes scanned their surroundings. They passed right over the spot I was hiding and he was about to turn away. I could have stayed hidden, alone with my anger and misery and sadness, but suddenly I didn’t want this. For some reason, I wanted Romero to find me. He hadn’t faked tears and he wasn’t family; he was safe. I cleared my throat quietly but of course a man like Romero didn’t miss it. He turned and his eyes zoomed in on me. He headed for me, opened the gate and stepped in with a bent head because he was too tall to stand. He held out his hand for me. I searched his eyes for the pity I hated so much, but he looked merely concerned and maybe even like he cared. I wasn’t sure what to make of his concern when not too long ago he’d done his utmost to stay away from me.

I slipped my hand into his and his fingers closed around me before he pulled me to my feet. The momentum of the movement catapulted me straight into Romero’s arms. I should have pulled back. He should have pushed me back. We didn’t.

It felt good to be so close to someone, to feel his warmth, something my life had seemed so devoid of recently. He slowly backed out of the vault, taking me with him, still holding me close.

“We’ve been looking for you for almost an hour,” Romero said quietly, worriedly, but all I could focus on was how close his lips were and how good he smelled. “Your father will be glad to know you’re safe.”

My father. Anger surged up in me at how he’d acted in the last few months. I was so tired of being angry, of not knowing where to go with my anger. I stepped onto my toes, closed my eyes and pressed my lips against Romero’s. This was the third time I did this. It seemed I never learned, but I wasn’t even scared of being rejected anymore. I was so numb inside, there was no way anything could hurt me again.

Romero’s hand came up to my shoulders as if he was going to shove me away, but then he merely rested them there, warm and strong. He didn’t try to deepen the kiss but our lips moved against each other. There was only the barest touch and even that was over too quickly. Something trailed down my cheeks and caught on my lips. I’d never imagined my first real kiss would taste of tears. I sank back down onto my heels and my eyes fluttered open. I was too drained, too sad, too angry, to be embarrassed about my actions.

Romero searched my face, his dark brows drawn together. “Lily,” he began, but then I started crying for real, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. I buried my face against Romero’s chest. He cupped the back of my head and let me sob. In the safety of Romero’s arms I dared to give my sadness room, didn’t fear it would swallow me whole. I knew Romero wouldn’t let it. Maybe it was a ridiculous notion but I believed Romero would keep me safe from everything. I’d tried to forget him, had tried to move on, find someone new to focus my crush on but they all fell short.

“We should return. Your father will be worried sick by now.”

“He isn’t worried about me. He’s only worried about how I make him look bad,” I said quietly, pulling back. I wiped my cheeks. Romero brushed a strand away that stuck to my wet skin. We still stood close but now that I had a better grip on my emotions I stepped back, ashamed by the way I’d thrown myself at Romero. Again. I was glad I couldn’t read his mind. I didn’t want to know what he thought of me now.

Romero’s phone rang and after an apologetic smile at me, he picked up. “Yes, I have her. We’ll be there in a moment.”

I stared off toward an elderly man who stood before a grave. His lips were moving and he was leaning heavily on a walking stick. I had a feeling he was talking to his deceased wife, telling her how his days had been, how much he wanted to be reunited with her again. That would never be my father. He seemed to have gotten over Mother’s death already.

Romero touched my shoulder lightly and I almost flew back into his arms, but this time I was strong. “Are you ready to head back?”

Ready? No. I didn’t want to see Father or the fake mourning. I didn’t want to hear one more word of pity. “Yes.”

Neither of us mentioned the kiss as we walked back toward my mother’s grave. Romero had kissed me, or let me kiss him out of pity, that was the harsh truth of the situation. Luca and Aria were the only people waiting for us.

Aria rushed toward me and wrapped me into a tight hug. “Are you okay?”

I felt bad instantly. She too had lost our Mother. She too was sad, and now she’d had to worry about me on top of everything. “Yes, I just needed a moment alone.”

Aria nodded with understanding. “Father and the other guests have moved on to the house for the funeral feast. We should head there too, or Father will get even angrier.”

I nodded. Aria shot Romero a look I had trouble deciphering. Then she led me toward the car, her arms tightly wrapped around my shoulders. Luca and Romero trailed behind. I didn’t look back at Mother’s grave again, knew it would have been too much for me.

“What was that look you gave Romero?” I asked quietly as we settled on the backseat.

Aria made an innocent face but I didn’t buy it. I knew her too well even if we weren’t as close as we used to be, due to the distance between us. She sighed. “I told him to stay away from you.”

“You did what?” I hissed. Luca glanced over his shoulder at us, and I lowered my voice even further. I hoped he hadn’t heard what I’d said. Romero seemed busy finding a good radio station.

“Why did you do that?” I asked in a bare whisper.

“Lily, I don’t want you to get hurt. You think Romero will make you feel happier and help with the sadness, but it’ll only make things worse. Maybe you think you’ve fallen for him but you shouldn’t mistake loneliness for something else.”