We didn’t say anything after that, only stood beside each other and watched the boisterous ocean. What I really wanted to do was talk to Romero, be in his arms and convince myself that this thing between us was meant to last, but it was way too early to retire to bed and we couldn’t risk anything with everyone still awake.

When the breeze picked up, Aria and I returned into the living room. Romero caught my eyes from across the room. I couldn’t wait to be alone with him tonight, to feel his body sliding against mine. I’d never needed him more.

***

Earlier than usual I crept out of my room and headed for Romero’s. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. He didn’t look surprised when I slipped in.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, arms braced on his knees. He pushed to his feet when I closed the door. For a while we only stared at each other until the pressure in my chest threatened to crush my ribcage. Why was I being so emotional about this? Romero crossed the room and gripped me by the hips, then he turned us around and led me backwards toward the bed until my calves bumped against it and we both fell back on the mattress.

Our hands roamed each other’s bodies almost frantically, undressing and caressing. Who knew when we’d get the chance to feel each other again? It could be weeks. Too long. We needed to make the best of our last night together.

Tonight I wanted to be in control. I pushed Romero onto his back and he didn’t resist. I straddled his hips and lowered myself onto his erection, feeling it slide into me all the way. I closed my eyes for a moment, releasing a low breath at the familiar feeling of fullness. Romero gripped my hips and started pushing upwards, driving himself deeply into me. I leaned forward onto my forearms so my face was above his and my hair surrounded us like a curtain, our own personal sanctuary from the outside world. “I’m going to miss you,” I whispered as I rocked back and forth. “I’m going to miss this, everything.”

“You won’t be gone long,” he growled.

He sounded absolutely sure. I kissed him, moving even faster until we both came at the same time, but we weren’t sated yet. We made love two more times that night as if we could stamp the sensations of our togetherness into our mind that way.

“I don’t want to leave,” I murmured afterwards as I lay in Romero’s arms. “I want to fall asleep in your arms.”

Romero reached for his alarm clock. “Then don’t. We’ll get up early so you can sneak back to your room without anyone noticing.”

I smiled, and rested my cheek against his chest. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep with the sound of Romero’s heartbeat like music in my ear.

***

The alarm woke us before sunrise and I quickly gathered my clothes in the dark room. Before I left, Romero pulled me against his chest and kissed me fiercely, then I slipped out and rushed back to my room. I caught a couple of hours of sleep before I really got up and prepared everything for my drive to the airport.

The hardest part about leaving was that I couldn’t hug or kiss Romero when we said goodbye in the airport waiting hall. With a last glance, I walked away, trying to ignore the insistent worry that I wouldn’t return.

***

When I landed in Chicago, my old bodyguard Mario was waiting for me. He wasn’t the most talkative person so we didn’t speak during the drive to my family home.

As I stepped up to the entrance door, my heart pounded in my chest like a drum. The last time I’d been here, the house had brimmed with sadness and death.

Mario opened the door for me and I stepped in. It wasn’t as bad as it used to be but I definitely didn’t feel at home here anymore. Was it my imagination or did the stench of disinfectant still linger in the corners?

“Where’s my father?” I asked quickly before my mind conjured up more craziness.

“In his office. He wants to see you right away.”

I doubted the reason for that was that he’d missed me. Mario headed off to take my luggage up to my room. I walked down the long corridor and knocked at Father’s door, trying to ignore the way my stomach twisted with nerves.

“Come in,” Father called.

I took a deep breath and slipped in. Fabi stood near the window. He had grown in the three months that I’d been gone and something about the way he held himself told me that wasn’t the only change in him. The last few months seemed to have taken a toll on him. It would have been better if Fabi had been allowed to go to Chicago with me for the summer, but naturally that had been out of the question.

Father sat behind his desk as usual. He didn’t bother getting up to hug me. But Fabi walked up to me and I wrapped my arms around him before he could decide he was too cool for affection. He was taller than me. I leaned back to take a look at his face.

I knew something was wrong the moment I saw Fabi’s expression. Recently Father had involved him more and more in the mob business, even though Fabi wouldn’t turn 13 for several more weeks. Had something happened? He couldn’t have been forced to kill someone already, right? The idea that my little brother might already be a killer turned my stomach into an icy pit.

“Sit,” Father said with a nod toward the armchair in front of his desk. Fabi immediately freed himself of my embrace, but what worried me more was that he made sure to keep his eyes on my chin.

“It’s good to see you back in Chicago. I trust Luca and Aria took good care of you?” Father asked.

No mention of Gianna, which wasn’t a huge surprise.

I sank down on the chair across from him. “Yes, they did. It was lovely.”

I tried to catch Fabi’s gaze; he’d returned to his spot at the window where he was busy avoiding my eyes, his hands balled to fists at his side and his lips a thin white line in his angry face. My stomach tied itself into a knot.

Father tapped his fingers against the smooth wood of the desk. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he looked almost ashamed. Fear gripped me. Again I darted a look at Fabiano but he was glaring at the floor.

The silence stretched between us until I was sure I’d suffocate. “You said to Luca that you wanted me here for a few parties?”

“That’s part of the reason. You need to become part of our social circles again.” Father paused, then he cleared his throat. He looked almost guilty. “Life must go on. Death is part of our existence but we must make sure that our family line stays strong.”

Where was he going with this?

“I’m going to marry again.”

I was torn between relief and shock. At least I wasn’t in trouble but I couldn’t believe, much less understand how he could be considering another marriage when Mother had been death for less than six months. “But—” I stopped myself. Nothing I could say would change a thing. It would only get me in trouble. “Who is she? Do I know her?”

There were a few widows in Father’s age I knew but I wasn’t sure if any of them were his type. Even thinking that made me feel guilty and I wasn’t even the one considering replacing Mother. Maybe Father was lonelier than he’d let on. I’d always thought he and Mother hadn’t cared much for each other but maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe he had loved her in some twisted way. Maybe he hadn’t been able to show it. Some people were like that.

Fabiano let out a low sound, drawing my eyes toward him, but he was still glowering at his feet. Which was probably for the best because Father gave him a look that sent a shiver down my back. I noticed a fading bruise on Fabi’s left temple, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there were more hidden beneath his clothing and if Father was responsible for all of them.